they do this like it's nothing,
like it's habit or muscle memory or
absolutely fucking nothing.

and maybe it is, for them.
but i can't figure out how they do it -
how they eat, right in the open,
entire meals without a second thought.

crumbs flying, teeth moving,
talking with their mouths full.
and i'm sitting here, hollow stomach,
digging my gaily-painted nails into my palms,
laughing and pretending this isn't real,
i'm not hungry.

because me, i have to coax and placate myself
for hours in order to
swallow a single bite in front of
any other person.

and they don't understand this
because they, they,
they do this like it's nothing.