A/N: Here, I've attempted to get in touch with my sense of humor. I may include some cynical views, but then I make jokes about them at my own expense. If anyone can please, please, please come up with anymore sayings, PM me, or tell me in a review. Please R+R!

Chapter 1

Money can't buy you happiness

Please. How many times have I heard my parents harping on me about that? Even Jessie J tells us that it doesn't matter. Then, riddle me this. Why is she singing?

I scribble this into my rough draft of an English essay. I look back at it, and sigh. Probably not acceptable for this essay. I'm not even sure of what to write about this topic; write about one of your favorite sayings. I put away all my things and turn off the light.

Oh joy. Another day of school tomorrow, a school day filled with excitement, fun, and love… Not.

Every day is like the one before; and there's nothing I can do about it. I walk through the halls, follow the same schedule every day, and pass by random couples making out behind the staircase to the D-Wing. Or on the staircase. Or, in a particularly memorable position, outside the principal's office.

I slip under the covers and fall asleep in the eerie dark glow of my laptop, still open on my desk. Money bought that, and it makes me happy. So, there's more proof that that saying just isn't true.