Drowning

Lost in the depths

I cant hardly describe what I feel

I feel full to the bursting

Yet dry and empty

I want to be held

And at the same time I don't want to be near anyone

I want to wander in the forest til im lost

I want to run home and snuggle into my bed

All I know is it hurts

This feeling is like a burning coal in my core

I cant ignore it

I can't quench it

I just have these thoughts circling in my head

I can't die alone

Why does love have to so complicated

Would I be happy in the simple life

No, I know the answer to that already

I wish I could be free

Free from these pointless arguments with myself

Why do we need someone

Why does it hurt to be alone

We were created alone….

Yet here I am

Picturing those strong arms holding

Safe from the cold

Safe from all these dark thoughts

But would that be enough

Probably not

Is it possible to be truly happy

And for it last more than a moment

Will I even find that kind of love

Or will I be forever doomed

To go from one hear t to the next until there's nothing left

Is he out there somewhere

Have I passed him by

God only knows

I know I don't

Why is it that back then all I wanted was the complicated things

And now I wonder if I distanced myself from those pure simple things

What would you think if I said

Even though its impossible one of the things I want most is a child

A darling baby to take care of

And a husband to be with always

Someone I knew would always be there

To love me

To hold me

How I ruined all that by chasing these crazy dreams

It looks like I'll have no room for that now

Is it worth it

Does one have to choose

Really choose between both?

Did I make the right choice

Is there a right choice?

Only God knows….