|Alone with Me
Author: Goodbye Babylon PM
'Cause I don't wanna be alone with me.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Words: 329 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 09-21-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2954332
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Alone with Me
Note: 'Cause I don't wanna be alone with me.
She was abandoned, left alone with herself. Of course, she wasn't very fond of herself. On a regular basis, she avoided mirrors and hid within her clothes. She could count all of the lies told to her within any given period of time. She could remember every single promise told, and the ache when it was left unfulfilled.
She had been abused and used and left alone, far from everyone who said they cared. But then they turned around and told her she wasted money, that her grades weren't good enough, that her job wasn't good enough. They broke her down and left her, torn and hurting.
Some nights, she couldn't fall asleep. Most times, she couldn't stay asleep. A lot of the time, her thoughts kept her awake. Those thoughts would whisper obscenely loud, just outside her ear, that she was a good-for-nothing, fat, worthless, helpless, unlovable, despicable, piece of shit.
She was adopted by others, who used her like everyone before them. She became Cinderella: always cleaning and cooking. They made her feel guilty for the presents and clothing they bought her despite her saying she didn't want anything. Her words always fell on deaf ears. She would sit in class, listening and trying her hardest, but it was never good enough. She ate little when required of her, and pulled her hands down her sides. When her ribs were sharp against her palms, something breathed in her. When they were dulled, something died in her. She pinched at what she perceived to be fat and hid behind her hair.
She refused to make eye contact, and normally her smiles were fake. Her emotions were falsities, stitched on perceptions of reality to keep "care-takers" away. People forgot her, moved on, went away. They didn't need her…but she needed them. She lost herself.