A lost child's prayer.

I don't even know how to start anymore. But I'll start by saying, I'm sorry.

Sorry for forgetting that you're always there. I never felt this way before and I don't like it. I don't want to lose you, I really don't but like I'm in a tug of war right now.

Right now, I'm getting pulled more to the left yet I'm trying to find the strength and faith to go back to you because I know I will regret it.

Father please pull me back, I beg. I want to die with my heart knowing that I will be coming home to you.

I'm sorry that I'm giving up so easily.

I can't imagine my life without you at all. I feel like I'll be a different person to what I am now, my whole life will be a lie.

I'm so sorry, for pushing you away just because I'm going through a lot at the moment and I feel like, you're not helping me anymore.

I feel like everything that's going on now, is all my fault. Father, I need you now please. I know I'm not allowed to beg, but I'm desperate.

Show me that you're always going to be there for me please? At least one sign.

It hurts every time that I have to put a big smile on my face whenever I go college or anywhere else just to make them think, 'I'm fine.' Help me father.