Inner Me Enemy

Panavala could not determine who was withdrawing from her the most. Malivo had been spectacularly busy, since being promoted to Lieutenant and officially becoming an instructor in a classroom setting. Eleazar had not said a single word to her since his wife converted to "Cosmos-cultism." Ahkensa had only been around her in their dorm, and any other time was not coming around her in order to try to stay away from Surego, but insisting that she was merely preparing for her upcoming expedition. Surego seemed distant, at any time that she was around him, irritable (like she had done him something), and oftentimes quiet and not very responsive. It was getting the best of her by the time she had a chance to sit down with Malivo and go over future plans for classes.

"Do you know of any transmittable lessons on Kasanian Elite that I could attain?" She asked, when they were in a quiet moment of simply making records.

"I suppose that your patience has run thin in waiting on me to teach you, personally," he stated.

"My patience hasn't run thin, but I am still enthused about learning it and I still have not had an opportunity to begin. Between semesters seems as good a time as any for me to try to squeeze something in, if I can," she said.

"I will make the time, in between the semesters. You will have it perfected in that amount of time, I am positive. Surego will be a bit envious. Not even he has Kasanian Elite mastered. Perhaps, you'll be so generous as to help him master it, since he was so instrumental in helping you train for your physical test."

Panavala simply frowned and admitted, "Surego and I haven't been very good, lately. I think that he resents me for something, but I can't figure out what. Maybe he thinks I helped his break up with Ahkensa, or something. I have no idea what I may have done to offend him. We're supposed to be best friends, but it's too complicated for me to keep at. Ahkensa is a much more suitable best friend."

Malivo chuckled and said, "Leave it to a Parahimen to wish to upgrade a best friend because of glitches in the former." She frowned at the comment, but he went on to say, "If there is something bothering Cadet Surego, as his best friend, you should inquire about the problem. It could be a situation in which he did not come to resent you until you disregarded his emotions."

"Am I being mentored, too?" Panavala asked, seriously wondering.

"I see no reason not to offer good advice when it seems needed," he told her. "There is something else that I would wish to advise you on, but it would be against protocol to do so."

Suna lifted her palm to him and smiled, "I am open for any type of advice that you have, Lt. Malivo." He brought his palm to hers and she shuddered at the immense power that he seemed to have when they touched. When he lowered his hand she laughed and asked, "Is that your mental energy?"

"I no longer use mental energy. Every ability that I use is used in the power of the Spirit. That was my spiritual energy, and my advice is spiritual, as well."

"I'm listening," she said.

But, instead of speaking, he sent the thought directly to her mind, Surego may not be a man that you could build a life with, but he will make a dedicated and stable friend for the rest of his life. While your Fluisa friend may be nice, she has no spiritual awareness, and therefore, no wisdom, and your Lunarisi counterpart is seeking to have a sexual relationship with you, without any true regard for your feelings or your purity. When you align yourself with people, please be certain that they are interested in what is best for your future.

She lowered her hand and nodded her head as she said, "Thank you, but, it's a little late. None of those guys are really having anything to do with me, right now. It's like something has changed with me, and whatever it is has chased them all away."

"Sometimes, others can't endure the growth of a friend, and you have grown. I no longer see the awkward, high-strung, ignorant cadet that started her first day of class by attempting to invite Vrella Yorkan into her mind." He gave her a programmed smile and added, "And the growth of your inner beauty is blossoming outward." Now, he looked back down at his work and continued, and she knew that he was done with his compliment and with the conversation. He was like that, sometimes. He would say so much, but then flip the switch and make her guess what he meant, if anything; or if he meant what he said.

Tracking Malivo down had not been very easy. He seemed to always be just out of her reach, vocal range, line of ability to see her waving, etc. It was like he was doing this on purpose, but why would he avoid her, when he had already told her that he would help her with something? That was unlike him, to not keep his word. However, she was not upset with him, only concerned about what must have been so pressing as to make a liar out of him.

In the middle of her waving at him, to try to gain his attention, she was hit with another one of those visions…

Yorkan replaced her spike mask and left the altar. Suna went into the private booth and dropped to her knees. When she emerged from the booth, Yorkan stood there, now back in her black instructor's uniform, holding a pot of what appeared to be tea. Suna jumped at the sight of her, but the woman simply said, "Come have a seat with me, Panavala." Of course, she merely followed the instruction.

The two women sat down at a small table in the back of the Chapel and Yorkan poured two glasses of tea, and began to add several things to her tea. "What is it that you hope to gain from trying to probe Lieutenant Malivo?"

"I'm hoping that I can learn about the God of the Cosmos."

"Why would a Parahimen want to learn about the God of the Cosmos? Is it not Parahime that closed all of its places of worship and made them simple monuments for historical study?"

"Parahime was occupied by cyber organisms and many of the illogical customs were obliterated. The Parahime that I come from has very little culture, but, apparently a very rich history."

"Home of General Mithras Caesar Pakanama, himself," Yorkan said. "He lived there when it was still flourishing and filled with life, but he never speaks fondly of the old place. Unlike other Parahimen who lived there before the desolation, he seems not to even miss it."

"General Pakanama?" Suna repeated, "You know him, personally?"

"I trained under him for many years, after I graduated. I served him," she said. "He is… a very… different sort of man."

"The only Parahimen ever to enter Spatial Corps without being altered and not have it affect his success, at all," Suna said, "Beyond that - I know very little about him. Is he the reason that you are so against Parahimen?"

Yorkan laughed and repeated, "Against Parahimen? How absurd!" She took a sip of her tea and answered, "I am opposed to Parahime, but that's because it's a terrible godforsaken place, and I've yet to find anything good to come from it. However, Parahimen make fine additions to battleship stars. I even think that you will make a fine addition, despite your handicap."

"God created me this way, for a reason. I find it hard to believe that He made any mistake, don't you?" Suna, for the first time, had some of her own tea. Spicy, bitter, salty, sweet…in intense waves, one then the other, alternating.

Yorkan laughed and asked, "Do you think that claiming God is responsible makes you any less handicap? Certainly, it's for a reason, but it is still so. Panavala - there is something wrong about you. There always has been, from the night that you first entered his consciousness, on Parahime. Let me just say this to you, and I don't care that it is not my place to do so - he is too important and has too much going for him, for you to enter his world and make these changes."

"I don't want to make any changes."

"You already have. Malivo is self-sacrificial. He would throw his life away if it meant saving even one soul. To be honest, I would hate if that soul ever were you. You simply aren't worth it, Suna Panavala. You aren't worth him losing his life, and you aren't worth him losing himself, so leave him alone and get on with your academic career, without further interest in him. There is a chaplain here that can tell you everything about God that you could ever possibly ask." Yorkan stood up and said, "Enjoy your tea, and may God be with you on your test." Then, she left. Suna sighed. This was the craziest thing that Yorkan had done, yet. Like Suna would ever actually presume any of those things about herself and Malivo.

"Dr. Panavala, if you can hear me…" Malivo was saying as she blinked herself back into reality, then looked at him. "What just happened to you? I tried to reach you mentally, and I was blocked out," he stated. "You were none responsive and your eyes were glazed over. You appeared as though you might have a seizure, or something similar."

"I was in the Chapel, talking to Yorkan," she said, then shook her head, dumbly. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. It was like I was remembering a conversation between us, but I know that this conversation never happened." It would have occurred right after she smiled at me, in Chapel - the day that I saw her without her mask.

"Was it another vision, or was it another plant?" He asked.

"I don't…"

"This is very important, Suna," he said, clearly, "Which was it, you know, in your heart."

She sighed and said, "It didn't feel like the vision of the Throne Room did, but it didn't feel like the plant of Yorkan being tortured, either. I'll tell you what it was like… It was like watching a movie, with me and her in it. I think…" she looked solemnly at him and said, "Someone else planted it. Who would do that?" She wondered.

"A better question is who could, and the answer is only a skilled telepath," he replied. She could tell by the look on his face that he was bothered by something. "You were waving at me, as though you needed to see me," he finally stated.

"Right! You haven't given me my lessons," she reminded him.

"Ah, yes. We should get to that, right away. Are you pressed for time?"

"Not at all," she answered, and the two of them made their way to the office.

The thought of the enemy getting into Suna's mind drove Malivo to furious anger. He wanted to protect her. He still had no idea what her purpose was, but the Lord had made it abundantly clear that there was one, and he would protect her, at all costs. He even would have protected her if she had not been given a gift of sight and obviously, from her testimony of her visit to Lunaris, a gift of speech, as well.

He was able to compile a data chip of everything that she would need to know about proper Kasanian Elite, taught her for about two hours, then released her to delve into the chip on her own time. Since then, he had continued to keep his distance. The enemy was somehow inside of his mind, at least sometimes, and he did not want them close enough to her to be able to use him to get to her. It was bad enough that they had somehow kept the connection from the invitation permanently open. There were very few times that he could shut off his awareness of her. They were using him to try to spy on her.

Since the lesson, Malivo kept himself occupied to the point that Panavala was unable to even catch up with him to touch base on certain assignments and requirements of herself as his TA. But, the fact that she had received few complaints gave her confidence that her decisions worked for everyone.

After about a week, she finally caught up with him, again, thankful that he seemed to have nothing pressing him at the moment. He was in his office, leaning back, staring out of a window that looked upon one of the campus' lavish courtyards. "Lt. Malivo, I am so glad that I've caught up with you."

"Come back later, now isn't the time," she heard what sounded like Professor Yorkan's voice say.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked. Malivo turned in his chair and stared at her, as though he had not heard her come in nor speak.

"Dr. Panavala, do you have an appointment?" He asked.

"No,"

"Do you have a question about last week's lesson?"

"No…"

"Is there a matter concerning the curriculum for the upcoming semester?" He was really trying to get her out of the office! But, she would not be moved.

"No." She sternly told him, and interrupted his next question or comment to ask, "What was that voice, just now. Sounded like…" she let the words die, but completed her thought, mentally… which he heard Yorkan.

"If you do not have an appointment, I see no reason for you to linger," he said. "Unless there is work to do at your desk, you should not be in here for frivolous idleness."

"I'm worried about you, Sir." She said and sat down. "I may be speaking out of turn, but perhaps you should see someone for grief counseling. Professor Yorkan and you were very close and mentally connected. Having that attachment severed violently and quickly can't be good for the rest of your mind."

"Thank you for advice on how to be a functional Kasanian, Panavala. I have no idea what we have done without your input, all of these years," he said, snidely. She flinched. This was not like him, and creepily enough, though it was his voice, the way he said it sounded just like how Yorkan might have, if she had said it, like she had control of him. Malivo clenched his forehead tightly, then said, "Now is not a good time, Miss Panavala. Please, dismiss yourself."

"Yes, Sir," she said, sadly. When she reached the door, she heard him say, Keep away from her! The urgency in his tone made her turn to look at the calm, collected man with fear and confusion. "Sir?" She asked. He simply shook his head, slightly and shrugged. Was that a thought? She wondered, and if it was - how had she heard it, unless he'd wanted her to?

He stood up now, and walked to the door, telling her, "There are things happening that neither of us understands, but I assure you - it is best that you not involve yourself in matters that do not concern you."

"I should stay away from you, just like Yorkan said in the plant."

"What else did she say?" He wondered. Suddenly, he was not insisting that she left? It was like he was two different people, at once!

"That was about it," she told him, not knowing whether she could trust him like she once believed she could. "I thought it was strange, because she was speaking as though we're in love or involved, or something…" Now, Suna shook her head and said, "I think that I'll hunt Surego down and see what he's got going on, in life. I hope that you feel better soon. I don't know if I can get used to this new you." With that, she left the office.

After the door slid closed, Yorkan's voice stated, "You planted it."

He retorted, "I believe that I did, but unconsciously. The real Vrella would have imprinted it in my subconscious, and set a trigger in which my mind would plant the memory, without my realization." He smirked and said, "That means that she was on to you. She knew that you would be inside of my head, and she obviously has already planned whatever it is against you."

Now, Yorkan's voice said, "Well, that's simply a shame. It almost sounds like you are trying to convince us that Panavala needs to be eliminated. And if we can get control of a brain like this, just imagine what else we can do."

"No!" He called.

"The clock is ticking!" The inner Yorkan snapped at him. "If you do not find the possession that was stolen from us and planted with her, we will use someone else to do it, and she will die a far worse death than you can imagine!" He clutched his head and lost his balance.