|All Falls Down
Author: Maximiliano1529 PM
At times we are blinded by what we want to see and not what truly is happening in front of us…How much must we need to lose in order to appreciate the true worth of life?Rated: Fiction M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Words: 5,586 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10-23-11 - id: 2963764
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: First and foremost I would like to thank God for giving me the crazy ideas I seem to come up with all the time. Also, to 3 individuals in my life who no matter how crazy or out of this world my ideas could come to be, they have always been there to support me and give me that extra push to believe in myself…Mom, Catalina and Antara thanks a million for always sticking by my side.
Now, this is my first attempt at publishing something original, which quite frankly gets me edgy, however I won't ever know if I am in fact any good at my writing if I don't expose my work. I am in fact a writer on FanFiction; however using existing characters is so much different than working with your own. Now feel free to Comment, Review, Favorite, Dislike and completely Criticize and Bash me. I honestly believe that all kind of constructive criticism whether with a positive or negative note should always be welcomed, since is what allows us, the writers work in our flaws.
Please be aware that there will be foul language, strong violent and sexual themes utilized along the story, as well as different views to life in terms of sexual orientation, believes and overall life in general. If you find it that you may get offended, then I suggest not bothering reading my work. I am known to be a rather dark and overly blunt writer, so consider yourself warned. As for all my work on FanFiction and now here on FictionPress I do not tell the story of the characters, they are in fact the ones who use me to tell their story, so bare with me. Work has not been "Beta" so there may be misspells or grammatical errors for which I apologize in advance. But do know that in fact I constantly check to make sure things don't look that bad.
Please note that I take my work very seriously and I truly hope you do too. In any case you would like to use some of my ideas or perhaps some of my characters (Depending on the piece you are reading) then all I ask is for your kindness and respect...Please let me know via PM and I'll be more than glad to work something out for you. Thank you so very much for your time and understanding.
Once again thank you very much for the time you are taking to look at my work, it is greatly appreciated.
"A Soul Mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…"
- Elizabeth Gilbert
-"You know well that everything will be ok…Although things are tough now, I'm sure it's all a matter of time…"
"How can you be so sure?"
"Do you trust me?"
"With my life!"
"Then believe me when I say things will get better..."-
The last conversation I had with Her resonated in my mind second after second as I continued to look out the window…Grey, bloomy, depressive and overly wet…I could probably come up with hundreds of words to describe how fucked up things had turned out to be. Mmm, I must admit that, right now, as I stood looking out this window I wished nothing more than to have that erratic and free spirit individual I called Mother holding me...Telling me that everything was going to be ok, and that this was but a bad dream that I was soon going to awake from…Right.
My eyelids fluttered close as to avoid those watery traitors from escaping my eyes. Yet, at that mere moment, I could only see her, my Mother, standing behind the small kitchen counter that sunny afternoon many years ago, back at her small cozy house in Florida. She had that loving and soft smile; one that not even the sun outside could warm your heart. Funny was the manner in which she held down the carrots with one hand and pointed at me with the cutting knife as she spoke.
-"Cheer up Hun and don't you worry…Life can be difficult, and yes things can change in a blink of an eye, but always remember, we will make it through this…I'm sure we will…"-
That however, was a mere understatement right now. There was no way of getting over this…No matter how positive and how much of a believer I could have been taught to be…There honestly was no way I…They…Anyone, could get over this…
Breathing in deeply and suppressing the big knot at my throat, which comes off as nothing more than a low whimper, I slowly opened my eyes. They automatically lost their focus from the obscure landscape outside giving their undivided attention to the erratic dance created by the perfectly shaped droplets of water. As I slowly released the oxygen from my lungs, feeling the aching pain coming from deep within my chest, I heard yet another pant, this time however coming from behind. The warm air coming from my mouth fogged down the cool glass almost instantly giving me a different spectrum of what was going on around me. Not only did I have a perfect view of the tiny droplets crashing against one another, but I could also see the reflection of the other individuals who, like me, could still not really grasp the reality of the situation at hand…
-"I really need this change in my life…I am so sick and tired of everything going from bad to worst…"
"You know everything happens for a specific reason Al…"
"I'm so fucking sick and tired of those words Sofia! Everyone needs to quit their overly-positive-attitude about life!"
"Calm down Al, you sound so silly right now…Did you forget that once, you, were the happy-go-lucky chick in the house…"
"FUCK YOU SOFIA!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! What, are you going to tag along them too? Are you going to sit here and tell me that shit will get better when you know in fact everything is going to shit! Come on now, what are you blind or something?…Don't be blinded by the stereotypical 'Life is good' lame excuse…Where is the realistic bitch I once met?"
"Realistic bitch?...Umm, well Al, she is sitting right in front of you…Trying to bring some sense back into that thick skull of yours…"-
The many conversations, or better said arguments, we once held continued to invade my already troubled mind. I could not help but to smile softly at the many memories, how in more than one occasion she over reacted when she wanted to get her points across about how fucked up '...Life, Destiny, God, or whatever Supernatural Power out there was…' for allowing her to suffer so much. Shaking my head side to side and releasing yet another painful sigh, my eyes followed the small trails left by the constant droplets allowing more memories to play behind my eyelids.
I remembered then, that occasion when she wanted her 'Best-Shrink-Friend' to analyze her 'Controversial views on life' …I have to say that, amidst her childish and naïve behavior from time to time, little did she know how smart and bright she truly was. That, instead of me giving her a helpful view into understanding the 'Complexity of her Mind', she was giving me a true lecture of how beautiful and gifted she was…Of how I wished at times I could have a quarter of her tragic and extremely dark life, so that I could have at least a forth of her knowledge…Only if she knew how much I wanted her to see herself as the astonishing individual she truly was.
"Sugar or Honey?"
The sound of her pained yet sweet voice brought me back from my reverie, causing all the muscles on my body to turn from the calming droplets to look at her. However, my brain seemed to be at High-Wired Mode because I turned faster than what I had expected causing her to flinch and take a step back at my sudden movement. Her eyes, just as the ones from the other individuals in the room including myself, looked tired and coated with a reddened hue all due to the lack of sleep and the excessive workout our tear ducks had performed during the past couple of days.
"I'm sorry sweetie, I…"
"No, I should be the one apologizing; I honestly didn't mean to startle you. I just…I simply wanted to know if you wanted sugar or honey with your tea…"
It was then when I noticed she was holding two white cups with green lettering on her delicate hands…'Starbucks, the new legal drug of the 21st century'…Remembering Her partial monologue about the wealthy and renown franchise, I brushed a curl behind my ear giving me the chance to lower my eyes quickly while the aching feeling in my chest creep in at the memory of Her voice. A couple of seconds later I took a deep breath suddenly realizing that although I was not in the mood for a coffee or tea (I would much rather have her offer me a Scotch straight up [Wow I'm starting to sound like her…] my throat was as dry as the Sahara desert) I bit my lower lip, stupid childhood tic I was never able to get rid of. I looked at the girl in front of me deep in the eye and hoped that she could not notice the thin layer of salty water that had suddenly accumulated on my eyes. My silence seemed to give the beautiful girl the wrong impression, because now not only did her heterochromic eyes turned glossier, there was a faint blush adorning her delicate face.
"Liz was right, I should have not bothered you…Is just…I thought the tea might have been soothing during this…"
Yet she was not able to finish her sentence since a new wave of tears began to roll down her now russet cheeks. She automatically lowered her face, and sniffed so low that had it not been for the fact that I was standing right in front of her, I would have had not noticed her pained expression. My body reacted on its own accord, snaking one of my hands around her small waste while the other began to create small circles on her back. To anyone in the room it could have looked as if we were just greeting one another, yet, I could feel the pain pouring out her very core as she cried almost soundlessly on the confinements of my rising chest.
My body stiffed when I heard the word been whispered on my ear. The simplicity of the word was not what startled me; it was more the sound of it. I knew it was not coming from Lauren, her voice sounded differently, soft and sweet yet nothing could ever compare to Hers…Even if Lauren would have said it as her lips and nose were muffled by my chest, the sound could never reach the velvety and hypnotizing pitch Hers held…Yet, that was simply impossible, She was not here…
"Are you ok…God I'm sorry…I'm so stupid, look I ruined your shirt…"
"Uh, no is fine, don't worry about it. Is just a shirt…Are you feeling better?"
"I, umm, yeah…Thanks, I think I needed that…"
"The tea…I'll have honey with the tea…"
She handed me the tea with a faint smile playing on her face while she sniffed adoringly. A stubborn lonely tear rolled down her left cheek which I tenderly brushed away with my thumb as I cupped the left side of her face and took the tea with my free hand.
"You already added the honey, am I right?"
"Well she always said 'tea tastes so much better with honey' and well, who are we to argue with that?"
"You're absolutely right…Thank you for your thoughtfulness sweetie…"
"Hey I know she could be a pain from time to time, and we had our moments, but that never stopped me from lovi…"
But before she could finish her words she was interrupted yet again, not by tears but by Elizabeth, who was now standing behind her gripping onto her shoulder using too much force for my liking. Suddenly, she turned Lauren to the side so they could be facing each other speaking with a menacing voice and looking at her with livid eyes
"Have you not bothered her enough?"
Her voice was but a whisper, yet it held so much power that Lauren's eyes widened for a fraction of a second to then closing quickly as she lowered her head and answered,
"I was just simply saying hello and bringing her some tea…Now let go of me before I slap the living shit out of you!"
Her voice had gone from that of a frightened child who got caught doing something wrong, to that of a mature woman who was not going to take shit from anyone…Especially not from Elizabeth, who always wanted to have control and the last word over every single situation.
"Who do you think you are talking to me like that?"
"I can talk to you whichever way I want, you don't like it? Then leave!"
"Really Lauren, really?...You need to realize that I am…"
"One of the biggest and most insensitive bitches in the room!"
"Watch your mouth little kid!…You're not old enough to be using foul language, let alone wipe your own ass! Now if you excuse us, we don't need your services anymore…Beat it!"
"FUCK YOU BETH!"
"You fucking little bitch! How many times have I told you not to call me like that uh?"
"Go eat shit!"
"Girls you both need to bring it down a notch…Is not the right place or right time to be acting like this!"
My voice had gone up an octave, yet it was not loud enough for the other people in the room to look our way. Both of them looked at one another promising without the need of any words that this little brawl was far from over. Lauren gave me one last look with her glossy and vibrant green with grey specs eyes while a new set of fresh and thick tears were ready to fall down her all too reddened cheeks. Lauren's eyes were simply mesmerizing, ones that you could get lost into them and today was not the exception. They always showed exactly what she was feeling and all I could see right now was sorrow and pain in them. There was a hint of love in them, yet they were literally screaming how sorry she felt about all that was happening. Breathing in deeply and fluttering them close she simply turned and walked away not before saying
"Thanks for been here…For always been there…Umm, yeah, we'll talk later…"
I tried reaching for her hand to stop her, so that I could give her a hug and promise her that everything was going to be ok, but she was far beyond my reach. Pinching the bridge of my nose while inhaling louder than normal just to show Elizabeth how disappointed I was about all this I turned to look at her golden honey eyes. I crossed my arms across my chest and exhaling slowly for better effect I noticed when she somewhat shivered and swallowed slowly looking deeply into my eyes. She looked exactly like she did every time she knew she had gotten into trouble.
"Why can the two of you act like civilized people at times?"
"Look Elizabeth I know this is your way of coping with things, but you really need to start working on your attitude issues. As much as you are suffering, so are Lauren, Leah and the rest of the family…Even Lori, who although is the true personification of an 'Asshole' she is very upset about all of this..."
"I have no idea as to what you are talking about…"
"Arrg…Look ok, ok, I'll admit that I'm been a complete douche-bag right now, but…I know this is affecting us all, but you seriously have no clue how much is affecting you!"
"Wow Liz, now I'm the one that should be using your previous words…Come on now, are you seriously using reverse-Psychology on me? Last time I checked, I was the only Shrink here."
The tone of her voice had gone from that of a bothered and complete bitch, to a concerned and caring woman. That was the Liz not many got to see, and what a shame that was…She sure was a handful, but that never tainted the fact that she was one of the most caring and loving individuals I had ever met. She shook her head side to side and gave me one of her signature shy smiles as her golden honey eyes meet with mine yet again. God those eyes…Simply gorgeous and mischievous, yet as Lauren's eyes, hers showed so much feelings and right now all I could see in them could only be described as…Desperation.
"I, No I'm not…Look…I just…Fuck I hate to feel so sensitive…Just know that as much as I hate to admit it, I have to agree with Lauren. We could never be thankful enough that you've always been here for her, no matter what…"
"First of all Liz, I don't know how many times must I repeat this to you, but here it goes again…There is nothing wrong with showing your feelings, especially when is to describe the love you hold for someone…With that said, quit acting like a child about that, as a matter of fact I seriously think is very cute when you get like this…But anyways, I have to be completely honest with you, both you and Lauren have me kind of confused…"
She turned to the side as she closed her eyes and took a quick breath…Releasing the air as quickly as she took it, she shook her head yet again sadly smiling to herself to then look at me deeply in the eyes. Right then and there I could actually say I saw the same amount of pain and love Lauren's eyes had showed me not too long ago. The bright honey color of her eyes got brighter as a coat of tears began to cover them causing my heart to skip a beat almost instantly. I hated to see them like this…To see her like this…So fragile and so broken deep within the tough façade she usually seemed to give off to others. My hand cupped her face in an attempt to give her some support, to show her it was ok to feel pain…To make her understand it was ok to love someone as much as she loved Her…
-"Soon you'll understand"-
I heard it yet again…That voice…God I think I was going crazy because I knew for a fact that it was not Liz the one talking since her lips had not moved at all. Yet when the whispered sentence reached my ears, I noticed Elizabeth closing her eyes all too quickly, causing the tears to trail their way down her face, reminding me then of the tiny droplets on the window. She gripped onto my wrist with a bit more force than what she had intended causing me to feel a jolt run down my back. She released my wrist right away, her reaction causing my hands to fall from her face and taking a step back.
"I have to go"
But she had already turned and had literally speed walk out of the room.
God why does everything have to be so fucking complicated! Breathing in deeply, and turning to look back out the window I decided to take a sip of the tea Lauren have left me on the window sill before all of this had turned out the way it did. The hot liquid reached the tip of my tongue faster than what I had expected giving my taste buds a stinging sensation. Swallowing the hot liquid faster than I usually would to cut the 'taste bud' torture to a minimum, I realize that the minty flavor and scent mixed with the honey sure enough was soothing.
"Best tea Tazo could have come up with…'Refresh'…They even gave it the perfect name…"
"Al you're such a nerd!"
"What! Is true…This tea is so delicious…If you ever have it without me make sure you use honey instead of sugar because if not you will definitely defeat its soothing purpose…"
"Whatever you say little Einstein!"
She was completely right…Although I just burned the living shit out of my tongue and throat, in some strange way the pain brought with it a soothing feeling…Holding the cardboard cup with both hands now, allowing the heat radiating from the cup warm up my freezing palms I began to look at the tiny droplets once again.
The thundering had not seized, and now it was so dark out the window, that I had lost complete vision of the garden outside. I decided to simply mute all the sound coming from the people in the room, and focus my hearing on the sound created by the thunderstorm outside. No more than 2 minutes later all I could hear was the sound of my beating heart almost aligned with the rain. My eyes had closed and finally, for once in a very long time I was able to see…Nothing…To hear…Nothing…The darkness had finally made its way and had consumed me completely. But the feeling was too perfect to be true, because no more than a couple of seconds later those despicable and monstrous images began to invade my mind.
As much as I wanted to fight them off, they were so much stronger than me…They simply took hold and complete control of my mind, and even as I opened my eyes in complete desperation the images still played right in front of me…Like a broken record I see them play, over and over again…Each time bringing with them the sense of lost, the sense of failure…The pure sense of evil. My grip on the cup got tighter, I could actually feel the fragile cup giving in and bending due to so much pressure my hand was creating. Just when I felt a hot liquid all but burn the skin of the back of my hand it was when I realize what I had done to the defenseless cup…
Taking a much needed deep breath and setting on the window sill what was left of the cup and the tea I cleaned my now stinging hand on the back of my pants, feeling how the fabric intensified the burning sensation. I noticed then that my cheeks where wet, and now the air coming from the air conditioning vent allowed me to feel the trails my now uncontrollable tears were leaving behind. Sniffing loudly to my surprise I automatically wiped my face as fast as I could as to hide how bad I was currently feeling. Thank God for waterproof mascara, or else my shirt would have gone to waste. Taking yet another deep breath, I straightened my back and cleaning the last remaining tears from my face I exhaled slowly, allowing every inch of my lungs feel the absence of oxygen, and clearing my mind from the sudden harmful images.
Still using the window in front of me as some sort of mirror I gave a quick look to realize that neither Lauren or Elizabeth were back in the room. Not to mention that to my surprise most of the individuals who were scattered around the room minutes ago had disappeared. Actually now that I was able to focus my sight completely I was able to see that I was alone in the room. That was strange, we were all waiting for the same thing, yet no one was here anymore…How long had I been out within my own thoughts? Looking at my watch I noticed that it was a little past 10:00am, which only means…"God I was lost in my thoughts for over an hour?"
A loud bang that echoed all around me brought me back from my reverie, causing me to flinch and turn yet again too fast for my liking. At that very moment I felt lightheaded, and now the turning in my stomach had intensified a notch. My head lowered as I swallowed hard in hopes to control the nauseating feeling that was currently tickling the back of my throat. It was after some seconds passed that the feeling of vomiting had gone to a minimum, I was finally able to bring my head up and what my eyes captured almost brought me to my knees.
Every time I was standing in front of this woman, for some odd and unexplainable reason I was not able to control the sense of weakness I felt. Leah, I will have to say was the only one who could come somewhat close to the same effect She had over me. Swallowing yet again this time however clearing my throat in hopes that it would help me get some composure (failing miserably of course) I looked at Leah directly into her eyes. They, just as Lauren's and Elizabeth's where gorgeous and astonishing eyes…The majestic blue hue mixed with the yellow and grey specs always caused me to melt. They also held so much emotions, so much love and pain mixed just as the hues were mixed that my heart felt that if I stared at them any longer I will break. Just before I could look down and hide from those eyes she spoke, I sure was not prepared for that either…
And with that she turned quickly and walked inside the other room. Although everything happened extremely fast, I was able to notice the amount of stress, pain, suffering and all in all desperation she was trying as much as possible to hide…
Forcing my feet to move I took the necessary steps to reach the thick wooden door forgetting completely of the half twisted cup on the windowsill. To my surprise I had grabbed my handbag and the many files and documents that were placed on the small table by the now abandoned window. The only thing my ears could capture were the sound of my pump shoes as they connected with the shinny marble floor beneath them. My heart accelerated all the more the minute my fingertips made contact with the rustic and antique looking door knob. Taking my last deep breath and exhaling it just as deeply I walked into the now quiet and somewhat crowded room.
Hoping the door behind me would shut softly, but not really having any luck with that, the loud clicking sound the thick door created when now flushed with the thick frame almost everyone got startled by the loud echoing sound. The judge simply raised her eyes from the documents she was now reading to herself, giving me an exasperated and annoyed look as I continued to walk in the room. To my right the Prosecuting table was filled with scattered documents and files as both lawyers spoke to each other and their client. To my left was the Defending table, where only the other two lawyers sat with somewhat of a worried expression playing in their faces. They were also many files and documents in the table, however they were neatly stacked and only the two legal yellow pads laid open with the many notes scribed in them.
The third chair was empty, yet the occupant had just arrived…Finally reaching the wooden small gate that separated the tables from the benches behind, where family, friends, some envious enemies and the media sat whispering to one another. Crossing the gate and walking towards the empty chair I placed both my briefcase and files on the table, as I stood and looked that the judge while I spoke
"Your Honor, my most sincere and deepest apologies for my tardiness, I wi-"
"Make sure it does not happen again."
"Thank you your Honor"
After been cut midsentence by a very annoyed and tired looking judge I sat down and took my legal pad out.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
Was all I heard coming from my left, yet I paid no mind as my eyes were now fixated on the most important thing within the court room…
Her head hung low, eyes looking at the ground, small droplets falling to the ground reminding me of the rain outside. A curtain of short black curls covered her still bruised and swollen face. At that mere moment my heart dropped completely…Why? Why must she be sitting there, in the accusing chair, when all along she was the victim to all that had happened? With her head still hanging low, she sniffed softly and cleaned the tears from her face. However the motions she made were too fast and even too forceful, since the very moment her fingertips and palm of her hand made contact with her bruised and broken skin, she flinched and suppressed a low whimper.
"Now that everyone is here, the prosecuting party may proceed…"
"Thank you your Honor. Well as you can all see ladies and gentleman, it's very hard to understand, let alone believe that what this individual has said could be the truth! People, what you have here is the work of a very articulate and psychotic individual who masterminded and committed the crimes…She never took into consideration the lives of the victims, she simply acted on a senseless and despicable manner for her own self fulfillment…If what she claims is in fact true, then why is it that we have not been able to see the enough proof and evidence needed for all of us to believe her? She is but a strong manipulative individual who believes can get away with all the harm she has done playing the victim card-"
"Objection your Honor!"
"In what account Ms. Verona?"
"What account your Honor? The Gentleman here, if that is what we could him, is jeopardizing the mental state of my client with such stat…"
"But your Hon-"
"Not only do you have the audacity to get here late, you are also raising your voice at me!"
"My Apologies your Honor"
"Prosecutor you may continue…"
Before I could say another word, before I could scream my lungs out and express to the judge how much of a bitch she was, I felt a strong hand pressing onto my shoulder.
"Take a deep breath, and sit down…Allow them to state their so called case, so that we can in fact state ours…Sofia, It's time…"
Just then I felt a strong jolt of energy run down my spine, it was so strong that I instantly sat down and needed to take a couple of breaths to calm my tears from falling…As much as I wanted to deny it, it felt as if in fact it was time…Leah automatically placed her finger under my chin and lifted my face so that I could look at her.
"Everything needs to be told, and we are glad you are here to help us every step of the way, now clean those tears and let the show begin…"
Little did I know what was coming…At that very moment Elizabeth was already standing behind Her same as Lauren. Leah reached the stand and looked back at me, in fact they all were and with a soft smile playing on their faces each one of them began to sit down. When Leah began to sit she looked my way and said
"Sofia is time to show them the real truth…"
Just then Her face changed completely…She, she raised her face slowly and looked at me directly at my eyes…The body, the body sitting on that wooden chair was Her…But not her demeanor…No, it was just not Her now…They had all come back, and they were ready to talk.
Alessandria's manic smirk did not reach her eyes; there was something foreign to it…
"Come on Gorgeous, let's get this shit started!"
The entire court room went quiet…The voice…That voice was not hers…Oh my, it was, it was happening right before everyone's eyes…In Three…Two…One…
It had begun…
AN: So what are your thoughts?