Okay, this is my very first attempt at an original story and heck, a story about romance. So, it may be pretty bad but who cares. LET'S GOOOOO!

But first, would like to see a TOTALLY UNRELATED 15 year old girl in a bikini?

-Yes

-Yes

OMG! I am soooo totally fat!

Aww yeah! Wait what? Oh, notes and whatever.

Everyone is speaking Japanese because I tagged it as manga so there's a 90% chance they're in Japan.

Or references are not belongs 2 I.

Chapter 1: "Go beyond the impossible and kick reason in the balls!"

"Achoo!" a black-haired boy sneezed as he rolled off the top of the double-decker bed he was sleeping on and fell onto the floor. "Ow!"

As he slowly stood up, forcing his tired bones to move, he looked around the dorm room he currently lives in. "(Strange.)" He thought to himself. "(It's quiet. Is anyone here?)"

He stood there and looked around the room. The clock that hangs on the wall grasped his attention. It was 7.30 in the morning. He stood there, wondering. Then he recalled something. Today was the start of the new school year. "(Asshole! He didn't wake me up! Just as expected of that jerkass.)"

Sighing deeply, he took a quick 5-minute bath (Yes, it's possible if you try!) and changed into his uniform. His hair was in a mess because he couldn't bother to comb it. He exited the dorm and ran to the bulletin boards... While chewing a piece of toast as he has no time for breakfast. His destination was the bulletin boards so he could view the class he was assigned to for the year although he knows full well which it is.

He made it to the bulletin boards and noticed the large crowd. He walked through a crowd of students who are anxious about the class they have been assigned to. The students noticed him and most of them gave him a death glare, others just pretending he isn't there.

"(3-1 again? Figures.)" he thought as he slowly paced himself away from the crowd while nibbling on the toast..

The next destination was of course, class 3-1 thanks to phenomenon known as homeroom. It's simple, choose your seat, keep your ass on the chair and endure a long nag courtesy of the homeroom teacher. Just hope you get nice lazy homeroom teacher. Though there's a one in a million chance to that.

Of course, before you can get to the classroom, you have to go through... TEN TAN TAAAAAAN! The hallway! It was quite crowded too, as many students needed to get into their classrooms. Some just standing there and chatting. As he walked by a group of girls who seem to be gossiping, they started to talk amongst themselves.

"Oh God, is that that Reiji guy?"

"I thought he transferred out of here!"

"Such a freak!"

"There goes our year..."

Our protagonist whose name was just mentioned but who I'm still going to address by 'him' or 'the boy' for now had something to say. But instead, he shouted at the top of his inner voice, "(I can hear you just fine you bitches!)" Finishing his toast, he tried to calm himself by closing his eyes and whispering a mantra in his mind. "(Just one year... Just one year... Just one year...)"

Unknown to him, a girl was in a rush in that hallway. He didn't notice her running towards him. And then, she literally crashed into him. She faceplanted on his chest making him lose his balance and fall backwards. Midfall, in a split-second reaction, he accidentally smacked the top of her head with his chin. They fell onto the ground and the weight of her entire body slammed on him.

"(Ow...)" the boy said in his head.

As he opened his eyes, he realized that she was on top of him. He thought about shoving her away or something just to get her off of him, but she took care of it by rolling sideways. The both of them sat upright at the same time and then proceeded to glare at each other.

The first thing he noticed about her was that she looked a little foreign. He at least knew that he never seen her before so she must be a transfer student. She had long blonde hair which curl up at her shoulders. The first two words he thought of when he saw that was, "(Mary Sue.)"

As he glared into her blue eyes, he took note of her expressionless face. It didn't look like a smile, it wasn't a frown, it was just... Blank. Empty. The kind of face you'd put up if you had a very important business meeting.

He then realized that they've been glaring at one another for about half a minute so he stood up and walked away without a word. It seemed fine with her, as she did the exact same thing.

He entered the class he was assigned to, 3-1. He took a seat at his favourite spot, the window seat at the last row. He likes it because it's spring and the smell of the air is amazing, and plus, being at the back means everyone else can sit in front and ignore him. The seats are arranged in groups of two, meaning someone has to sit next to him.

At least 15 minutes past and everyone assigned to the class have entered and chose their seats. That's when he realized: the class has an odd number of students. That basically led him into sitting alone.

Then he thought of something. "(Maybe that girl I crashed into will transfer into this class... It's a shoujo cliché, it's bound to happen.)"

He was wrong. Dead wrong. An hour of constant nagging from an unnamed teacher and then about 4 hours of lessons is what happened. No transfer student, just lessons he already read up on during the long holidays.

The bell rung so it was time for lunch. Our protagonist whose name I still won't mention eventhough you already know it picked up his lunch and went to his favourite spot, a deserted area of the boarding school, under a cherry blossom tree. That's when...

And now for someone completely different!

"(Gekkoukan High...)" a blonde-haired girl thought to herself as she stood at the front gate of the boarding school, clad in the uniform of the school, a luggage on the floor beside her foot. "(A top-notch boarding school that even a high ranking politician can't afford... But it seems to have a name like one of those 'anime conventions' I heard of...)"

She stopped staring at the school like a tourist as soon as she realized she was grasping attention. She grabbed her luggage and proceeded to go to the girl's dorm to drop off the luggage. The warden who was sitting down and reading magazine saw her and proceeded to greet her.

"Oh, you must be a transfer student." She said as she stood up and moved her hand forward, gesturing for a handshake. "I'm Sayoko Wataru, but everyone calls me Sayo-sensei despite not being a teacher."

The warden seemed pretty chatty and overall, a really nice person. The kind you'd go to ask to help solve problems instead of consulting the school counsellor. The girl could sense the warmth of her kindness, but she couldn't bring think of the right words to say. Instead, she nodded and shook Sayoko's hand.

Sayoko figured that this transfer student is probably shy and awkward. She would've delved into this further, but it was almost time for classes to start and she didn't want the transfer student to be late.

"I'll keep the luggage safe and sound for you." She said as she grabbed the girl's luggage. "You should hurry on to the headmaster."

She nodded and rushed to the headmaster's office. She left her watch in her luggage and Sayoko did tell her to 'hurry on'. So she was under the impression that she was late. Before transferring she took a good look round the school, so she practically knows it inside out. In other words, she knew where every room in the school is located at.

She ran up the stairs and across the hallways through the crowd of students. Then, she noticed a boy walking quite slowly. She figured he'd step aside. But he didn't bulge. She then found out that his eyes were closed so he was probably sleepwalking. But it was too late.

She faceplanted on his chest, tipping him off balance. After that, she tripped on his feet and started to fall on him. In the split-seconds they were falling, probably in retaliation, the boy slammed his chin on the top of her head. With the force of gravity, she faceplanted on his chest again, this time with stronger impact.

"(Ouch...)" the girl muttered in her mind.

When she opened her eyes, she realized that she was on top of him... In a rather suggestive position. She would've stood up right then and there... But he would be able to peek up her skirt had she do that. And that would increase the awkwardness meter to OVER 9000! So instead of that, she rolled sideways off of him. Then, they both sat upright at the same time and started to glare at one another.

She noticed that he probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed. His hair was a little messy, the top-most button of his uniform wasn't buttoned, there were a little bit of breadcrumbs around his mouth and he had eyebags that were hardly noticeable. He had a very bored, frustrated expression plastered over his face. The first two words tht popped up in Alice's mind was, "(Jerk Sue)"

Without saying a word, the boy stood up and left. The transfer student did this too, and walked to the headmaster's office, acting like nothing happened. The headmaster noticed her as she opened the door.

Wait, before that, the headmaster was a large bald man, with the longest beard EVER. And for added awesome, you shall read his lines in the voice of Norio Wakamoto. *activates Geass* I command you to.

He noticed the transfer student slowly try to open the door, and gestured for her to enter.

"Take a seat young lady!" He said at a tone so loud that you can hear him from the moon.

She nodded and did as he said.

"Arisu Sekigahara was it?" he asked.

"It's Alice..." she said in a tone that is nigh impossible to hear.

"I understand that you're from the prestigious family of the Sekigahara clan." The headmaster, stroking his improbably long beard.

Alice's response was the usual nod.

"LISTEN UP!" he shouted, standing up and slamming the desk, sending a chill down Alice's spine. "IN THIS SCHOOL! YOU! ARE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" Alice felt a little scared by this strange behaviour. The headmaster started to raise his hand, squeeze his fist and lower it at every syllable he says. "SO TREAT EVERYONE AS EQUALS NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE! UNDERSTOOD?"

"Y-yes..."

"GOOD! YOUR CLASS IS 3-2!"

Alice stood up, waved goodbye to the headmaster and exited the room to go to class 3-2. When she made it there, she knocked onto the door which was nearest to the blackboard, therefore making it the front door.

The teacher noticed her and opened the door for her. She then asked, "Are you a transfer student?"

If I had a nickel everytime that question gets thrown around...

Alice nodded.

And everytime she nods...

"Okay, come on in and introduce yourself!" she said as she pulled Alice by the arm into the class.

Alice stood in front of the class, all eyes on her. The pressure was intense. She never stood in front of a crowd of people like this before. She noticed how the seats are arranged in an individual manner, so she wouldn't be sitting directly next to anyone.

"Go on." The teacher gesturing her to speak up.

"I'm Alice Sekigahara..." Alice said in a soft monotone voice... But an ant being squished at Pluto is louder than her.

The teacher sighed and smacked her face with her palm. FACEPALM! "Just go take a seat."

Even as she walked to an empty seat, she was getting unwanted attention, for some reason. She couldn't hear it properly but the students were really excited over a new student.

"SILENCE FOOLS!" the teacher shouted.

Cue obnoxiously long nagging.

Lunchtime

The bell rung and the entire class ran out like a pack of wild dogs.

Only 6 people stayed, Alice, 3 non-plot relevant douches and two people who stand out really well. Why? They weren't in uniform. The both of them probably stayed so they can talk to Alice. One was in a tuxedo, the other... Has a red cape.

"Hey transfer student!" the caped... girl said. She seemed very boisterous. "What was your name again? I didn't catch it just now."

"Alice."

"Arisu! Got it!" the caped person snapping his/her fingers.

"I'm Benkei Satomi." The tuxedo wearing guy said with a charming smile. "I play for this school's baseball cup, number one pitcher baby! UP TOP!"

The caped GIRL smacked Benkei with a wooden katana. she provided Alice with an explanation. "Listen, Arisu, don't trust Benkei. Everything he says, he says to get in your pants."

"Yeah whatever, 'Cutting Board'." Benkei, making a comeback.

"Shut up!" the caped girl smacking Benkei a second time with the wooden katana. "I'll handle my introductions!"

She climbed on the table. A dramatic wind blew towards her, making the cape flutter about. "My one policy! Go beyond the impossible and kick reason in the balls! When they think of Gekkoukan's Kendo Club, they think of me! Its badass leader! The one! The only! Shion Narukami! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!"

"I think you're Shion." Alice responded in a deadpan tone of voice.

It killed the mood and made Shion fall face-first on the floor. Benkei ignored it and asked Alice, "So, are you a foreigner or something?" gazing at her like he wants to woo her.

But Alice wasn't listening. She was too focused on these oddballs engaging in conversation with her. Benkei was blonde, had short, neat hair and wore a tuxedo. He had this womanizer feel to him too. But is that news at all?

Shion on the other hand, was tall and very... Flat-chested. And very tall. No wonder Benkei called her Cutting Board. Her hair was blue and tied in a ponytail. You can't see it if you face her directly though, meaning, it's technically a mullet. What she wore was questionable by school standards, it's a pair of longpants and a cape. The only thing covering her FLAT! chest were bandages. You can totally see her belly.

"Hello?" Benkei asked.

Alice realized that she was spacing out and shook her head in denial.

"Huh, they must've thought Arisu is a cool name." Shion, shrugging. "Well, I would name my kids Simon and Nia."

"Uh..." Alice, raising her hand shyly. "Why are you two... Out of uniform...?"

"That?" Shion, tilting her head. "I, as I said, am the badass leader of the Kendo Club, so the teachers kinda fear me."

"Except for the headmaster." Benkei added.

"Yeah, but he never complained, so I assume he approves." Shion, arms crossed. "All hail sexiness indeed."

"Isn't it all hail oppai?" Benkei, trying to remember. "Anyway, I bribed them to let me wear tuxedos because I'm that... AWESOME!"

Alice's stomach started grumbling. So loud, it can cause an earthquake. So loud, you can hear it from a distant galaxy. Look, it was just loud, okay? Alice remembered that she hasn't had a meal yet.

"You should go eat." Shion, pointing at the relative position of the cafeteria. "No worries, we're gonna stay here, so we'll talk after lunch okay?"

Alice answered with her usual nod and left the classroom.

"And address me as Shion-sama next time!"

But, Alice already left the classroom and probably didn't catch that. She went to the cafeteria. It. Was. Huge. Since it is a high-class boarding school, the food was amazing. They had pies, steaks, chicken chops, kobe beef, mountains of ice cream, huge pizzas, sushi and all your imagination put in this awesome cafe. Drooling yet? They way it operates is pretty cool too. Pick three types of food and a drink and then they put it on a tray, you pick a seat and eat. NO PAYMENT. Whoa, your drool is touching me.

Alice took some mashed potato, a slice of pizza and salmon sushi. For a drink, she took, in her mind, a bottle of odd-black water. In ours, coke. She decided to eat outside as the cafeteria was packed.

She went around looking for a secluded place to eat. And that's when she came across this spot with a huge cherry blossom tree. There was barely anyone there. It was nice and shady too. She noticed a familiar boy sitting under the tree. She remembers who he is, that messy hair is his prominent feature that sets him apart from almost everyone. Gulping deeply, she asked,

"May I sit here?"

And this is where we last left off.

"Huh?" the boy said as he took a bite out of his STEAK!

That was it. Alice couldn't think of anything to add. She was gonna hit the sack when the boy followed up the huh.

"I mean, you don't really need my permission to sit here, I don't own this place." He said as he looked away.

To put it in a nutshell, he said yes. Alice caught wind of this and moved forward to the tree. But then, her right foot kicked something, a rock. This made her fall frontwards. In another nutshell, she tripped over a rock. I've already elaborated that they put the food you picked on tray right? She spilled her food all over the ground and landed face-first on the ground.

"(Dumbass.)" the boy snarked.

Alice lay her head on the ground in embarrassment. And to add insult to injury? Her stomach started to growl. Yes, the growl that can be heard from an alternate universe. This made Alice decide on playing dead. She lay there and tried not to move at all.

The boy knew the one rule at the cafeteria. 'Once you black you never go back'. He never understood it, but it basically meant that you are not allowed to have seconds. He sighed and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey, you can have mine if you want."

Alice slowly raised her head on the ground and answered, "It's okay. I'm not really hungry."

And then her stomach growled once more, this time louder than before. Biting her lip, she took his tray and in a very soft and deadpan tone, said, "Thanks..."

The boy obviously didn't hear it. He stood up and was about to leave the area, his reason being that he doesn't have reason to sit there and lounge round. And also because it he wouldn't have to put the tray away. That's when Alice nabbed his left hand.

"Your name... I didn't catch it."

This would be a good time to insert Pokemon joke. But instead, they exchanged glares.

Alice wanted to find out his name, she can't just accept his help without at least knowing his name.

The boy on the other hand, not so much. He could only think of the words, "(Does it matter?)"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

The boy took back his hand and looked away. In a soft tone, he said,

"It's Reiji."

Chapter 1: END

Shion and Benkei's after-chapter fourth-wall breaking 4 teh lulz segment!

Shion: Sheesh, what kind of cliffhanger is that?

Benkei: Yeah, I can think up an awesome-er cliffhanger with my brain cut out.

Shion: And what's with the title quote? That's my quote. And it's not even plot relevant.

Benkei: It IS awesome.

Shion: Awesome it is, but the narrator is so lemony.

Benkei: EVIL. Every Villain Is Lemon.

Reviews are very much appreciated.