Author: Jorda PM
"When the countdown ends, my love will be gone and I'll be here- missing my love and waiting for the day we'll see each other again."Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Words: 1,694 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11-30-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2975410
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Fifteen minutes left.
The young woman muses over her situation for a moment. 'When the countdown ends, my love will be gone and I'll be here- missing my love and waiting for the day we'll see each other again.' It only seemed like days before when the pair had met.
Months before, the young woman had gone about her job the same as always, working hard from the time she clocked in until when she punched out for the day. The day her lover came into existence, the young woman had been frantically running back and forth in her area when the words of another caught her attention. Temporarily losing her focus, the young woman turned to the voice. There, an unfamiliar face stood watching the young woman, one she would grow accustom to in the days following.
Her lover had asked her a question that day, but the young woman failed to recall the exact words. At the time, she had heard the inquiry, gave an answer, and quickly returned to her previous task. Five steps from their meeting spot, the young woman looked back, hoping to find the face again.
There was no sign of the new face. The young woman, slightly skeptical of the encounter even happening, continued about her day.
'That was just the start of everything.'
Fourteen unexpected fights.
The two had argued about their relationship, life, and life's plan to separate them. Her lover worried the distance would destroy their affection for each other. Each time the two would argue, the anger and fear would eventually subside and they would return to being their usual selves again, filling their time instead with smiles, laughter and jokes, and the occasional tearful moments when they would remember their inevitable fate.
Her lover notices her expression. "What's wrong?"
The young woman quickly shakes her head. "Nothing."
"What are you thinking about?"
The young woman avoids her lover's stare. "Just us."
Her lover says nothing more.
The young woman feels a rush of relief flow through her, followed by the return of her anxiety. She gives power to the mobile device in her hand.
Thirteen text messages from her lover today.
On the car ride from her home, the young woman anxiously toyed with the buttons on her phone. Standing across from her lover, she allows her fingers to lead her to the familiar screen filled with the words of her and her lover. Nothing more than simple greetings and repeated phrases of affections. Not the normal conversations of their future plans to raise a family together. Her lover watches her and stares at the cellphone in the young woman's hand as well.
"I don't know when we'll get to talk again."
The words are far from necessary. The young woman knows the reality of their situation.
"It's not." Her lover's hands ball into tight fists.
The young woman's focus remains on the technology in her hand. Rereading the extended conversations of theirs calms the butterflies beginning to stir inside her.
Twelve days ago, the reality of the situation started to sink in.
The young woman tried her best to avoid looking at the clocks and calendars hanging on the plain, white walls in her room. Seeing the times and dates only made her remember the unbearable truth. The hours and minutes had counted down more and more every day. The long, carefree nights they had spent together only tricked her mind for so long. Her ignorance towards the time failed to stop the clock from ticking, no matter how much she had hoped it would.
The young woman redirects her gaze from her phone to the floor under her worn out pair of brown Converse. "It's not your fault- I knew what I was getting into."
'People told me this would be hard.'
But no words could clearly express the fear of the inevitable farewell drawing closer. No one she knew could explain to her exactly how she would feel at this moment. Her friends and family had never warned her about the emptiness that would grow within her heart.
Eleven in the morning on their last day together.
The young woman looks over to her lover standing across from her in the stairwell. She had imagined their last moments playing out in a completely different fashion. Her mind scolds her for expecting anything different. Her naïve view of the world took over sometimes, leaving her to believe that she and her lover had no need to deny their love.
'So much for living in the land of the free, but something's better than nothing, right?'
Even if the young woman and her lover had to conceal their meeting from judgmental eyes, the young woman could not take their time for granted. If she were faced with having to repeat their parting, she would do so willingly.
'I'm sure they'd all call me crazy.'
Looking at her lover, the young woman rediscovers the sense hidden beneath the madness. She smiles.
Ten hours before their meeting on the stairwell, the young woman sat with her lover under the stars.
Enveloped by her lover's arms, the young woman had hoped the embrace would never end. After a long, stressful day of arguments and chaos, the lovers uttered their apologies and made the best of their remaining freedom together. A dinner filled with laughter and smiles, followed by the drive back to the hotel where her lover would sleep for the night. The young woman remembered how her mind begged for her lover to hold onto her and never let go.
The young woman formulates a riddle. 'What do you do when you finally accept that you can't prevent the inevitable?'
She watches her lover peer into a box of cigarettes produced from a back pocket.
'You close your eyes and you hope that when you open them, you're right. You hope it's just another bad dream.'
"Nine cigarettes left- fuck."
The young woman's lover continues to examine the inside of the box of Marlboro's, a resentful face forming at the recent discovery. Her lover regrets not having bought that extra pack on their last trip to a gas station.
"Knew one pack wouldn't be enough."
The young woman, still observing her lover's grimace, mirrors the expression. She regrets not being able to foresee the sudden increase in her lover's dangerous habit.
Her lover violently shrugs off the inconvenience. "Oh well- not like I can smoke when I get there anyway."
Regret still clings to the young woman.
Eight calls made between the two lovers in the course of the day.
Whenever a moment would grant them time to converse, they would take it graciously. From twenty-second long phone calls to several minutes of conversation, they would utter their usual "I love you"s and "I'll miss you"s- words spoken often, but never enough.
"It's going to be weird not having my phone- not being able to call you every day and night."
'Don't remind me.' The young woman returns her attention to the floor once more. Her heart sinks at the thought of not hearing her lover's voice before she would fall asleep every night and when she would wake every morning.
Seven dollars spent on a breakfast of Red Bull and beef jerky.
The young woman recalls the meal and the bunched-up receipt in her front pocket. Her nerves prevented her from craving the appropriate combination of eggs and toast. Instead, she passed on the more well-rounded breakfast in an attempt to avoid the risk of it reversing its path down to her stomach. An unhealthy choice of food her lover would lecture her about if other concerns had not proved themselves more prevalent at the time.
The young woman's taste buds still harbor the odd mixture of the rough jerky and the peculiar tasting energy drink.
Six people sat in the seats around the lovers in the room they had previously occupied.
Among the group was another couple spending their last moments together. The young woman remembers watching them from the corner of her eye. The couple held hands and awkwardly cuddled close in their seats. Sorrow and anger battled for dominance in the young woman's head. While the other couple could display their tenderness carelessly, the young woman could only sit beside her lover and imagine all the small gestures of affection she wished she could perform.
Five floors in the building.
The young woman's lover counted them each time they walked up and down in search for the best spot for their secret meeting.'Up and down these bitches too many god-damn times.' The young woman's lover looks from the ascending set of stairs to the young woman, whose face fails to hide her sorrow.
"You okay?" Her lover questions, concern hidden behind a stern tone.
The young woman allows a weak smile to crawl across her lips. "Yeah."
Four times today the young woman had cried.
In the morning after she had awoken from her restless sleep, the tears began to fall. Several more times before her meeting with her lover, she succumbed to the same fate. Since stepping foot in the building, she had managed to keep herself composed. 'I'm surprised I've gone this long without another outburst.' But they still had time and plenty of opportunity for her strength to falter.
'Three months separated.'
Just a moment away from her lover seemed too long. The young woman dwells on the fact and worries. 'How am I supposed to handle these next few months?' Then she recalls the terrifying reality.
'This is just the beginning.'
Two hearts beat from the anxiety and fear of the inevitable.
"I love you." The lover speaks.
The young woman echoes her lover's confession. "I love you too."
One final kiss between the young woman and her lover as their remaining time together runs out.