Saturday, December 10, 2011

OMG, like, hi. My name's, like, Sarah Fitch, if you're like an idiot and don't even know who I am. And if you're just that stupid, I, like, go to this high school and I'm like, so popular and, like, all the boys like me. It's, like, awesome. Now that you know who I, like, am, I can, like, tell you my awesome story. See, I'm, like, writing in this thing 'cause, like, every cool girl in my, like, school has a diary, so, like, I should totally have one, right? Okay, so, like, here's what, like, happened today. I, like, went to the mall with my, like, best friends, Heather and Missy. They're, like, awesome but not as awesome as, like, me. So, like, we were, like, totally at the mall, and, like, this dude I like, Brandon, appeared out of nowhere. We were, like, at this restaurant called, like, Fruit and Stuff.

Yeah, so, like, Heather, Missy, and I were, like, drinking our smoothies. And, like, Brandon comes over behind us to, like, buy a, like, drink. And then, I, like, start being all totally sexy, right? So, like, I'm being all sexy, but he, like, doesn't notice. So, then, guess what happened. This hoe comes up and starts, like, totally flirting with him. So, guess what I, like, did. I went right up to that bitch and kicked her in the face! It was, like, awesome. Brandon looked, like, really confused, though. I bet he was just, like, speechless because of how awesome it was, though. But then, that hoe, like, totally pulled out her phone (It wasn't even a good phone. It was, like, really old. Like, older than my, like, dad.) and, like, called the cops! But, like, I was really smart 'cause, like, before the cops showed up, I, like, totally ran away and left the mall!

Okay, so, like, when I got home, Heather and Missy called me. And they said Brandon was, like, totally freaked out by me! Maybe I can, like, make up for that at, like, school. My parents didn't, like, say anything about it, 'cause they probably don't even know. I told you they're idiots. If I, like, didn't tell you, that means you're not cool enough to have me tell you. So, like, my sexy hand is getting, like, tired so see you tomorrow! Or whenever I decide to write more. I don't care. You're, like, not the boss of me, diary! Ugh!