|Bob the Investigator Adventures
Author: Comedystudios PM
A series of adventures starring Bob the Investigator, the Investigator that loves driving his clients away.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 25,456 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 05-10-13 - Published: 12-11-11 - id: 2978547
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Bob the Investigator and the Alien Invaders
At a laboratory somewhere…
Scientists have discovered a UFO heading toward the Earth.
John (a scientist): Joe.
Joe: Yes, John?
John: I've identified the UFO. It comes from the planet Elphido.
Joe: OK, so is there anyway to stop it?
John: The only way to stop it is to get the stupidest person in the world to stop them.
Joe: Who's the stupidest person in the world, then?
John: I don't know, but I say we should recruit local investigators to help. Who is there?
Joe: Well, there's Sam the Investigator and Bob the Investigator. Sam's out of town, so we'll get Bob the Investigator.
At the office of Bob the Investigator…
John and Joe walk in.
John: Hello, Bob the Investigator. We…
Bob: One moment. Ryan and I are throwing pies at my neighbor. Take this Ben!
Bob and Ryan continually throw pies out the window.
John (whispering): This might be the one, Joe.
When Bob and Ryan stop, Bob sits down at his desk and Ryan stands next to him.
John: What's 2+2?
John: What food starts with C and ends with ake.
Bob: November 15th.
John: What state is New York City in?
John: Say, we could use a guy like you. Why don't you come to our laboratory?
Ryan: Can I come too?
Later at the laboratory…
Bob and Ryan arrive.
John: Welcome, Bob the Investigator and Ryan. Please follow me.
Bob and Ryan follow John.
John: We're working on a rocket ship for a mission to stop alien invaders.
Ryan: What is that, a new type of toothpaste?
John: No, real alien invaders.
Ryan: You mean you want me and Bob to go into outer space, stop alien invaders and bring back space smoothies?
John: I haven't said that yet, but yes.
Ryan: OK, but I've had space smoothies before. They're not that good.
John: How could you have had space smoothies before?
Ryan: I've stolen 3 rockets from your space program.
John: Well, then forget the smoothies. Here's the rocket ship that will take you into outer space.
Bob: Wait a minute. How much are you going to pay us?
John: I'm thinking around… $2 to be split between the two of you.
Bob: That's fine. What about you Ryan?
Ryan: OK, but don't try pulling any tricks on me Bob. We're going to split it even. You get $1.20 and I get $0.80.
John: By any chance, when did you drop out of school?
Ryan: What's school?
John: That explains a lot.
Ryan: Do you know what a school is Bob?
Bob: It's a chool with an s in front of it.
John: Somehow that makes sense. Anyway, you two take off tomorrow.
The Next Day…
Bob and Ryan get in the rocket. John talks to them over their headsets.
John: You two ready?
John: Why not?
Ryan: I don't have a watch.
John: What do you need a watch for?
Ryan: For ticking people off.
Joe: Prepare for countdown. 5…4…3…2…1… blast off!
The rocket is launched into outer space. Bob and Ryan look out in front of them and see the UFO.
Bob: OK, we see the UFO. Now what do we do?
Ryan: I don't know. John didn't explain.
John (through headsets): Bob, Ryan, can you hear me?
Bob: Yes, we hear you.
John: Good. Now, the aliens will stop to talk with you since their UFO has no weapons attached to it. Use your word play to stop them.
Bob: You've got it.
Like John said, the 2 aliens stop. They get out of their UFO and Bob and Ryan get out of the rocket ship.
Alien #1: Who are you two?
Bob: We're astronauts. You can tell by our space suits.
Alien #2: Astronaut? That's a city on our planet. It's very nice there. We've got hot dogs.
Bob: How do they taste?
Alien #2: Taste? Why would you eat a dog? Especially when it's got a fever!
Ryan: This is going to be harder than we thought.
Bob: Why do you want to take over the Earth?
Alien #1: Our leader wants to use it as a playground for his children.
The aliens get out ray guns.
Alien #2: Now we shall destroy you and continue our quest.
Bob: Wait a minute; can't we talk this over lunch?
Back on Earth…
At a Lunch Café…
Alien #1: I love this bean dip. I'm sure our leader would prefer this to the whole planet.
Bob: I'll tell you what. You can come back to Earth and take all the bean dip you want as long as you don't invade the Earth.
Aliens #1 and #2: Deal!
The aliens take 50 cups of bean dip and get back into their UFO and leave. John and Joe walk in.
John: You did it! Thank you, Bob the Investigator and Ryan. We'd love to make you both official astronauts.
Bob: No thanks. There's really no one in outer space to annoy.