Author: Azzachan PM
How someones loneliness can disappear just from love.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Words: 3,212 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-13-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2979195
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I have a tendency to write in first person. I'm sorry!
Italics: Her thoughts.
Bold Italics: Are a dream. (You'll see when you get to it.)
Loneliness in our lives only a few truly comprehend what it feels like to be truly alone. Even when we're surrounded by friends we still feel that loneliness in our heart. Our heart is screaming out for someone to realize that it's in pain. The heart wants someone to reach out to its owner to save them from their darkness in the deepest parts of our souls. Though this is on that one special person I hold closest to me, yet even though I can't see her she freed me from my darkness.
Hi my names Catherine. I woke up any other ordinary day. Got dressed for school, rushed breakfast and ran for my bus just catching it in time. I sat in my usual seat my music pulsing into my ear from how loud I had it. Music was always my escape from the world. The bus stopped every five minutes to pick people up on the way to school. I really took no notice of who sat beside me every day as I stared out the window; all I knew was that they felt warm beside me.
The days carried on passing by till about 2 weeks into October. I felt a soft nudge on my upper arm, so I took one head phone out turning my head my mouth open about to say "What?" Instead a croak came out as I looked into the girls eyes, my cheeks went up in flames; as I turned my head away hearing a soft laugh from the girl beside me.
I turned back to look at her my cheeks calming down from the fire that had erupted in them. "Umm so what do you want?" I asked rather shyly. She smiled at me pointing up to the window, "Can you please open it, people at the back want it open." I stared at her for a second before it registered in my head before I nodded, standing up to open the window.
Before I had a chance to put my head phone back in I heard her say, "My names Nicole, what's yours?" I pulled my headphones out then wrapping them around my iPod making eye contact with her while doing so, "My name's Catherine, it's nice to meet you Nicole." I said politely smiling at her. She returned the smile "It's nice to finally talk to you to be honest Catherine. I never actually tried because I thought I may have bothered you and you always seemed so content staring out the window." As she spoke these words I could see some sorrow pass in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Nicole, I just usually get lost in my wee world while I'm on the bus. And you wouldn't have bothered me. It's actually nice for once for someone to talk to me." My eyes gleamed at her hoping that, my words could have cheered her up slightly.
For the rest of the bus journey to school we chatted away laughing at half off the stuff we came out with.
We chatted every day on the bus to school, even though she was in her second last year of school and I had three more left it was nice to talk to her. Finding out how difficult it gets when going into the last two years of school.
It was the start of something new for me, the burden I'd been carrying seemed to have gotten lighter just a bit but it felt nice.
Sometimes I would spend my weekend over at hers just talking and having fun with Nicole. Though my feelings for her were starting to grow for her more around Christmas time-I knew she was bi but I never thought that I would be attracted to a girl. I just ignored them because I found it impossible for me to of liked her in that way. And I guess I was scared even to admit them-I do truly hate people's judgements on me though.
I more or less started to cut down the amount of time I spent with Nicole because I was scared of my feelings. I know it was stupid but hey I was only 14 coming 15 at the time, I was none the wiser.
One day on the bus, she poked my shoulder as I had my music blaring again. I took my headphones out looking at her with a small smile, "Yeh?" I asked questionably. Her gaze strayed from my eyes to the headphones in my hands "Are you ok Catherine, recently you've been going back to the girl I once didn't know. What's wrong?"
My eyes went wide and sharp as I tried to formulate an answer to respond to her, but nothing was coming. I whispered lowly "I'll tell you later." She nodded letting me off as I put my headphones back in.
I knew she wouldn't remember to ask me about it for another while. So I just let the days pass by till it was my birthday.
It had reached the 10th of January which was a Saturday. I didn't have anything planned because I'd recently fought with friends earlier that year-I didn't start it! Though I was expecting to have seen Nicole…
I decided to spend my 15th down on the beach watching the waves crawl in and hurriedly rush back. It was nice sitting on the sand against the curved wall, the sea breeze drifting ever so roughly through my hair as I listened to the waves the cold air against my face. As if being there was cleansing me from so many different impurities.
I let out a low sigh closing my eyes, drifting off to my world. I felt like a bird soaring high above the blue waters, the sea breeze catching nicely on my wings as I glided through it. "Oh how wonderful it would be…" I sighed.
I heard a small scuffle as if someone was moving near me; I ignored it guessing it was one of the dog walkers. I felt a poke on my upper arm. I groaned wondering why anyone would bother.
As I opened my eyes to face the person who poked me I took a breath in shock but something else, my grin instantly appearing. "Happy Birthday!" She smiled warmly at me, "Your parents said you might have been down here. I got you something." My heart raced, I was barely able to comprehend the situation before me. Nicole handed me a small wrap parcel, smiling at me. "I hope you like it."
I stared down at the delicately wrapped parcel before taking it in my hands, looking up at her, "Thank you, you really didn't have to you know." I turned my attention to the gift in my hand unwrapping it as she spoke. Once I had removed the wrapping I opened the box revealing a set of punkish kind of bracelets. I smiled laughing a little as I hugged Nicole.
Even though she'd only known me just a little while she still knew my style, it amazed me how much she picked up in a short while to be honest.
Even though I had spent less time with Nicole till my birthday, I seemed to have been spending more and more time with her frequently. I let my feelings go there natural course. I thought to myself if I'm bi, I'm bi or if I'm a lesbian, I didn't care. If people around me can't accept it well fuck them. It's my life, and it's about time I start living it.
I was staying over at Nicole's for the night. We have movies and munchies. We were in our pyjama's sitting against the bottom of the sofa on the floor, a blanket covering our legs to keep us warm. We were watching romantic movies as those are the ones I love for some reason well more of romantic comedies because well we'd be bored silly if it were just romantic love sick ones.
We were half way through the third one while it was getting to a romantic seen, subconsciously I put my hand over Nicole's without realising and she just ignored it. By about the fifth movie we were getting sleepy. Half way through Nicole's head lightly fell onto my shoulder as she passed out from sleep deprivation. I smiled, shifting back the hair that covered her face.
I switched off the television when the movie had ended using the remote so I wouldn't wake Nicole up. I yawned not realizing how tired I was. I learnt my head lightly on her drifting off to sleep.
I opened my eyes waking up in a green field in the middle off no where. I stood up taking a glance off my surroundings. Once I had a feel off where I was. I took off to the north, with not much well wit about where I was going. It was just like a force was pulling me in that direction to go. After what seemed like a minute off walking a forest came into view.
"HELP!" I heard someone scream from inside the forest. I ran for the forest changing shape for some bizarre reason. I had changed into a wolf! I stopped for a second to glance down at my new form before I heard another scream. My ears perked up as I realised whose voice it was.
I ran as fast as my new form could carry me, following the last place I heard the scream stopping and sniffing the air only to pick up a strange scent different from hers. I tread carefully before I saw something move in the forest…
It moved so fast I couldn't keep up with it. I followed its scent before we reached a lake in the middle off the forest though the water was black; her body was floating above it. Shadows lurked all around the lake but I had to rescue her.
I dashed down the bank clawing at any shadows that dared to come near me. I jumped and dived into the water. As I hit the water going through it with my full body I felt everything grow extremely cold. I looked upwards to see nothing just blackness. But it was cold and wet. I knew I was still in the water.
I began to doggie paddle upwards before something grabbed onto my hind legs. I gasped water filling my mouth as much as it could. I clasped my mouth closed keeping anymore water from getting into my lungs. I struggled against whatever had grabbed my legs turning my body round trying to bite it off but I couldn't find anything but something still kept me down.
My eyes were slowly glazing over as I was running out off air…
I sprung forward my forehead covered in a cold sweat. Nicole looked at me with questioning eyes, "Bad dream?" I nodded, feeling the beads of sweat on my forehead. Wondering to myself what that was about. I looked at her just to make sure she was ok. "That was a very scary strange dream." "Do tell." She smiled at me, so I told her what happened in it.
After I had finished she raised an eyebrow at me, "Dreaming about me hey. My little hero to the rescue. Well somewhat." She nudged me laughing. She knew how to hit my weak spots, I blushed laughing nervously. She hugged me resting her head on my shoulder "Awk don't be shy now." She giggled into my ear.
I let out a sigh and lightly pushed her off me, "Shush you. I didn't plan the dream. My mind creates weird happenings!" We stared at each other before bursting out laughing at the craziness I came out with.
Life couldn't have felt any better though I still haven't been able to tell Nicole how I feel about her. One of these days maybe… When I get the courage!
Life was slowly heading into the chaotic zone now with teachers piling on work and revising for exams 2 months away at the start of May. Even though Nicole and I did have to kind of cut down our time off seeing each other we did hang out down at the beach chatting away like normal or went to the cinema to see the newest releases of the hottest movies. Let's say Twilight would so not be in our list off movies to watch…I think.
Even though she was two years ahead of me, Nicole would help me with my studies for my modules as she knew how important they were. But also that she knew how much I needed to get top grades as best as possible. I must say with Nicole helping me, revision seemed to be…well enjoyable.
It was about two weeks before the exams; it was Friday the 6th of May. I was basically shitting it by this stage now. I took the night off from youth club so I could just have some free time to myself but lately my confidence had been hitting its peak. I couldn't keep this inside any longer it was about time I told Nicole my feelings for her. She'd either reject them letting me down easy or accept them. I wasn't sure what was going to happen.
I couldn't wait any longer to tell her.
I walked off to Nicole's house about a 20 minute walk from mine. My head phones in of course my music blasting as I tried my best to keep my nerves calm. I knocked on her door taking a step back waiting for it to open as I wrapped my head phones round my iPod stuffing it into my pocket.
The door opened as I looked up meeting her beautiful brown eyes. My smile grew so big. "Wanna go for a walk to the beach?" She grinned nodding "Sure."
We walked off down to the beach even though it kind of felt awkward because we were hardly talking but more of looking at the sun set. About 2 minutes before we reached the beach I stopped as she turned round facing me raising her brow. "hmmm?" I twiddled my thumbs behind my back looking down at the ground. "Nicole, I-I…I love you…" I whispered softly just loud enough for her to hear.
She smiled lifting my head up kissing my cheek, "I've known that for quite some time I've just been waiting for you to say it." My jaw literally dropped as she said it, "And let me see before you ask. Yes of course I would go out with you!" My face went bright red it was as if she read my mind.
I leaned forward kissing her lips lightly. Her lips were so soft I lost myself when our lips touched I kissed her passionately wrapping my arms round her pulling her closer to me as she kissed me back just as passionately. After about 3 minutes of kissing we pulled apart breathing heavily looking in each other's eyes dreamily, our smiles gleaming at each other.
Finally being able to tell her my feelings it felt good and as if my entire burden I had, had disappeared and vanished of into a far of land.
We had been dating for 3 months it was known in school by now even though we did still have some people asking a few times if we were really going out. We had finally reached our summer the days drifted by magically each day.
Till one day Nicole didn't contact me at all. I text her at midnight asking her was what was wrong, she didn't reply for five minutes replying "My parents are moving to America and…it's permanent." I sunk down onto my bed dropping my phone on the floor thinking about how horrible this was. It was too unfair on us. We'd only started out near 4 months ago and this…Why this for all the crappiest fucking things to of happened! Why this!
My floor vibrated from another text. I couldn't find the will to go near it. I just curled up into a ball falling asleep on my bed.
For how much of an idiot I was for not looking at what it said. I may have been able to of seen her one last time if I did check the text message. I was devastated but I guess that's life… Once you get it together it fucks you up again!
I woke up crawling out of bed; a card was left in my room. I knew my parents had left it up. I picked up the card looking at the handwriting knowing it was hers. "Do I really have to believe this?" I questioned myself as I opened the envelope taking out the card which was handmade. I smiled looking at her stick figures. She never was a good drawing.
I opened the card.
I'm sorry for this being so fast. I only found out the day before. You know I would never want to go to America if I had a choice to. I love you so much; I wish this didn't have to happen. I wish I could stay with you and live out our future plans we had. We'll keep in touch through the internet and text message ok. xx
Love your girlfriend Nicole.
"So I've lost her for now." I let out a low sigh, knowing it's not over because she as much as I want to live together forever. We were soul mates we couldn't give up that easily.
10 years later
We met up at the airport running towards each other embracing each other kissing slowly bringing back so many old memories.
She's my dream girl the love of my life. I'm thankful to have met her.
A/N: Well I hope you guys like it took me a while to write this. R&R till next time guys