|Caring for my nightmare
Author: Writingforheartandsoul678 PM
A Monologue: Imagine knowing that you should never be forgiven but yet you have to sit and watch someone care for you so tenderly. Not being able to refuse or cry out for them to stop; not even able to make your apology...Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Words: 577 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12-17-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2980180
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: this is not based on truth.
Background: A girl is sat in a wheel chair centre stage. She is still and silent. A young guy drapes a blanket over her legs. He strokes her cheek tenderly and then leaves stage right. A tear roles down her cheeks. Another girl enters stage left she places her hand on the girls shoulder and then stands slightly more to the side to face the audience. She is a representation; the words she speaks are those of the girl in the wheel chair.
The girl: (She stands for a few moments)please don't do that. (Pause) don't care about me...please. (Pause) I don't think I can bare it any longer. I'd (she pauses as if it is too painful) I'd look away when you show me that sympathetic smile. (Pause) I'd...I'd hide my face to cover the truth of me existing. (Pause) I'd...I'd shout and resist until you all left me in my guilt. To bathe in it until every poor reeks of my consequence. (Pause) At least then I'd be even with myself. (Pause) No need to hate any longer. (Pause) I would let me wither and rot like I am supposed to. (She seems to remember herself) I can't though can I? (The words become bitterer as she speaks them) I can't drag my hand to my sorry face and push away the food you so freely allow me or even close my own mouth. (Pause) I have become the nightmare of my dreams; a shell and a puppet. You will pull my strings so long as I am not broken. (She pauses as if feeling a shade of guilt but then snaps back and continues) You play the part of my carer so well but inside you play a game of cat and mouse with your conscience.
(She seems to unravel more) Being able to choose your ending doesn't seem so bad now. (Pause) oh...the word that I crave to reach my lips and force my body to move. You know what I mean, the one that is so shunned in society. (Pause) the very thing that seems my only sanctity.
(Her mood and tone change slightly) do you even remember what I did? (Pause) I should scare you and yet you cry for my happiness. (She seems in disbelief) you know that no remorse was shown. I destroyed their lives, their families should loath me. (Pause) why don't you? (Pause) why do your lips still caress my limp cheek? (Pause) why do you still let your heart pound when you tenderly stroke my hair? (She pauses and her barriers begin to fall) what makes it worse is that underneath this shell my heart still leaps to see you and...and the thing I crave the most is to be able to repay your kindness. To throw the past away and shows you that O can be the girl that you have always seen in me. (Pause) so please just don't care. (Pause) for it hurts me most to know that I can never care for you.
She turns to look at herself and wipes the tear from her cheek. When she exits the guy renter's stage right and as they pass strokes his cheek. He seems unaware and goes sit by the girl. The lights fade.