|A Ring That Fits
Author: Lizzy B Malfoy PM
Sean is your typical bum living in his mother's basement. One day, his mom kicks him out, and tells him he can't come back without a kid of his own. Finding a girl would be simple enough, but he has his last girlfriend's name tattooed on his arm! R&RRated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Words: 2,889 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 01-05-12 - Status: Complete - id: 2985898
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A.N.: I wrote this story for my reading class. We had to do a science fiction story, and I chose this. It sucks, I know. I'm not very good at science fiction, but it's okay. R&R
A Ring That Fits
Sean and Kelly were dating for four months, and they loved each other uncontrollably. Sean got Kelly flowers and chocolates, and Kelly cheered the loudest when Sean scored a touchdown. They were the cutest couple in high school, and everyone envied the two for their perfect compatibility and amazing looks.
Sean was sure that Kelly loved him just as much as he loved her, until one day when he went to their usual make-out-hide-out in the janitor's closet and found her already there. Kelly was kissing another guy. The guy was kissing back.
Sean was shocked. An image appeared in his mind all too clearly of him ripping the kid out of Kelly's arms and punching him until the blood covered his entire face, and he was bruised so badly that he was hardly recognizable. Instead, he ran away. Kelly was too busy swallowing the other guy's face to notice that he had seen everything.
They had made plans to go to a drive-in movie together earlier that day. Now, it was 8 PM, and Kelly showed up at Sean's house, as if she hadn't been cheating on him a few hours ago. She hopped into the passenger side of Sean's van, Sean in the driver's seat, and kissed him before he drove off. Sean didn't kiss back. He just allowed for himself to be kissed.
When they arrived at the drive-in, the movie had already started. That was fine, because no one went to a drive in to watch the movie. Kelly was the first in the backseat, and Sean followed willingly, but then stopped suddenly.
Kelly frowned. "Is something wrong?" she asked innocently.
Something's wrong alright, Sean said to himself. Something is definitely wrong. You were cheating on me. That's what's wrong! But he kept silent.
Sean looked to the floor of the van. Shyly, he asked his girlfriend, "Do you love me?"
Kelly gave him a funny look, then laughed. "Why would you ask that? Of course I love you." Sean didn't believe it. The image of Kelly kissing another man kept invading his mind.
Sean looked at her again. She had always been the girl of his dreams. He thought that she had loved him. They were the perfect couple, the couple that everyone envied. He wanted to tell her that he saw her kissing the other guy, but he knew that he would loose her forever if he told her. He didn't want to loose her. He loved her too much.
What he really needed was a way to link her to him. That way, she would never be able to leave him. He thought about his parents, and about how madly in love they were. Then he remembered something. After his father had proposed, they had gotten matching tattoos. He and Kelly had to get matching tattoos.
"Lets get tattoos!" he said suddenly.
Kelly looked at him confused, then laughed hard. "Right now? Why?" she said, still laughing. "We haven't even done anything!"
Sean looked at her again, his eyes pleading. "Please, Kelly. If you love me, you'll get a tattoo with me. Do you love me Kelly? Do you?"
Kelly looked down at the floor guiltily. "I guess…"
"Then lets do it. Right now. Lets get tattoos."
Kelly looked at him strangely again, wondering about his sanity. Hesitantly, she got back in the passenger seat and had Sean drive them away from the drive-in.
Once they got to the mall, Sean nearly dragged Kelly to a tattoo artist. "What should the tattoo be of?" she asked, not really caring, just trying to stall so she could think of a way to not get matching tattoos.
Sean thought for a second. "It should be of our names. You'll get one with my full name, I'll get one with yours."
"Don't getting tattoos hurt?" she asked.
Sean frowned. "If you truly loved me, the pain would be worth it. If you truly loved me, you would get a tattoo with me. You love me Kelly, don't you?"
Kelly laughed nervously. "Of course I love you. I've already told you that I did. I'm just afraid of the pain."
"I'll get one first. Your full name. Then you can get one. Then we'll be together forever."
Sean sat down in the chair, then told the tattoo artist what he wanted. "I want it to say Kelly Maria Andrews. My girlfriend will have one that says Sean Joseph Matthews."
And the pain began.
One painful hour later, Sean went to find Kelly and show her the clearly visible tattoo. She had run off to the food court a few minutes after the guy started, and Sean wanted to show her that he was brave enough, that he loved her enough, so she should do it too.
What he saw was awful.
Instead of Kelly making out with the same guy earlier, it was a completely different guy! In a blind rage, Sean ran up to her. "Kelly!" he cried.
She stopped, turned towards Sean, then sighed, obviously annoyed that she was interrupted. "Bryan, this is Sean. Sean, Bryan." Bryan nodded at Sean, his face covered in her lipstick, then they went back to kissing.
"Kelly!" Sean complained, knowing that it was a lost cause, "I thought you were going to get a tattoo with me! I thought you loved me."
Reluctantly, Kelly pulled away again. "I changed my mind alright! Now go away." They went back to eating each other's faces.
Sean had tears streaming down his cheeks. "Fine! We're through!" Kelly just waved him off, still locking lips with Bryan. So, Sean ran.
*FIVE YEARS LATER*
"Mother, could you pass the stuffing?"
It was five years after that horrible day when Sean broke up with Kelly, and now it was Thanksgiving. Him and his mother were sitting together at the dinner table, passing food to each other.
Sadly, this was the exact same thing they always did.
Sean went into a depression when he broke up with Kelly. His grades slipped, and he was never able to finish high school. So, he was a high school dropout. He never found a job, because he always had to put high school dropout on his job applications, so no one, not even McDonalds, was willing to hire him. So, he had spent the last five years of his life living in the basement of his mother's house.
For a while, his mother put up with him.
But not anymore.
When she passed him the stuffing, she got up, left the room, and returned with all of Sean's things packed in a suitcase.
"What are you doing with those?" the bum asked.
His mother didn't answer. She just went to the front door and threw his things out.
"Mom!" he screamed, running outside to retrieve his things.
His mother locked him out.
"Let me in Mom!" he screeched.
"No!" she yelled. "You've been living here for five years, and not once have you tried to get a job! You just sit around in your basement all day! You should be in college, or have a job. Not living off of me!" She turned to go, Sean staring at her though the glass in utter disbelief. As an afterthought, his mother added, "I'll let you back in when you give me grandchildren."
In a daze, Sean turned to go. His life was ruined. He had tried to get a girlfriend, but whenever they saw the tattoo with Kelly's name on it, they didn't want to talk to him.
He had given up, yes, but he needed to live somewhere, and for now, his mother's house was the only available place. He had to get a girlfriend. He had to have kids.
Sadly, he had a list of requirements that a girl would need in order to be with him.
They must be willing to marry him right away.
They must be willing to have kids with him.
Their name must be Kelly Maria Andrews.
Sean figured that he could meet a girl at a club. So, he went to one and sat down at a bar. He rolled up his sleeve, showing the tattoo off.
Right away, someone sat down.
"Hey," they said in a pretty voice.
Sean turned to face the woman. That was fast, he thought.
What he saw was a sight that would forever haunt his mind.
The woman sitting next to him didn't match her voice at all. She had thin brown hair that was in patches all over her head. Her eyes were the color of green sewage. A cigarette hung from the corner of her mouth, the smoke covering, sadly, only her hairy chin, or at least, one of them. She wore an extra small T-shirt over her extra extra extra large belly, fat hanging out. The shirt had sweat stains all over it. Her pants were dirty and ragged, but they fit. They were the size of tree trunks, her arms slightly smaller. Her feet were fat. Nail polish was chipping off of her toes. Sean's first thought was that he was amazed that she had been able to reach her toes. His second thought was that he was amazed that he was still alive, and only had to swallow down throw-up about ten times in the short two seconds that he saw her.
The worst part is, I'm only exaggerating a little bit. Plus, I described her as nicely as I could. I didn't mention the moles on her face, or the fact that in between her yellow teeth there was what looked like a shoelace.
"I noticed your tattoo," the woman said in her pretty voice. That voice lied to me, Sean thought, swallowing some more vomit.
"Did you?" Sean said weakly.
She nodded. "It's such a coincidence," she said.
Oh dear God no, Sean thought. Please don't say it. Please don't say it. "Why is it a coincidence?"
She smiled, showing off her yellowing teeth. Is that a chicken wing in her teeth? he thought.
"Because," she said, about to say the terrible words, "my name is Kelly Maria Andrews."
Sean woke up to the sight of Kelly. He wanted to faint again, but resisted the urge. He got up slowly. Kelly helped him up. Her palms were sweaty.
"Are you okay?" she asked him.
Sean nodded, looking far from okay. He tried not to retch as he said, "I fainted because you were too beautiful." He closed his eyes, and imagined a bullet in his head. He felt better.
"Aw, how sweet," she said.
Sean wanted to run away, but he missed his basement. He missed his mother. So instead, he knelt down to the ground. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at her chubby knees. "W-w-will you m-marry m-m-m-me?" he managed to say. Like I said, he really missed his mother. "I won't be able to stay away from…" he thought of something to say, something that wouldn't make him throw up, "…your beautiful voice." He refused to look at her, but pulled out a plastic ring that he had found in the street. It didn't fit. He thanked God.
"That's okay," Kelly said. "Not many rings here on Earth do fit me," she told him.
Sean's head snapped up. "Here on Earth?" he asked, terrified. She didn't say anything. Instead, she happily hauled him up, grabbed his hand, and in a second, they were gone.
The two reappeared. Sean didn't know where he was at first. He was inside, but inside what, he didn't know. The ceiling was orange, but it looked like clouds. At the same time, it was much too thick to be clouds It had to be a ceiling. A moving, orange, cloudy ceiling.
The ground was normal. It was covered in blue carpet.
The room was huge. The biggest room Sean had ever seen. It was fairly empty of furniture, but he could tell right away that it was a jewelry store. It had glass cases around the walls, huge glass cases, and they were filled with thousands of abnormally large rings. All looked rocky and hideous but he thought that they all fit Kelly perfectly.
Kelly. Thinking of the name reminded him of his old girlfriend, the beautiful Kelly, the Kelly who broke his heart. He had to call this Kelly something else. Kelly B. he decided. Kelly B.- Kelly Belly. It could be a nickname, he decided. And she would never know that he was actually referring to her abnormally large stomach.
The room wasn't just filled with cases of the strange rocky rings. It was filled with men as well. They were all bums, like Sean, and they were all accompanied by monsters like Kelly B.
This time, Sean actually threw up.
"Where am I?" he demanded, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the horrible sight of Kelly B. "Take me back now!"
Kelly smiled at him. "No silly. First we need to get a ring."
"Where are we?" Sean asked again.
"We're on Saturn. This is the only place that has rings that will fit me. Then we can go back."
Sean gulped. He forced himself to face the monster that was now his fiancée. "Are you an alien?" he thought.
Kelly B. laughed. "Of course not. But for all of the woman who can't find rings on Earth, we are given the power to teleport to Saturn. Saturn is the only place we can go to so we can find rings. Saturn has the largest ring system, you know."
Sean gasped. "You're lying. Take me back!" he screamed.
Kelly only laughed harder. It was a terrible sound, like she was wheezing, like it took all of her energy for her to laugh. "Why would I lie to my boyfriend?" she asked him.
"But Saturn is made of gasses. It has no solid surface."
"No known solid surface," Kelly corrected. "See the ceiling? That is the gasses that cover Saturn. They're so thick that not even telescopes can see through them. Truth is, Saturn is very much like Earth."
"Oh God," Sean whispered, too frightened to speak.
Kelly didn't notice. Instead, she dragged him to one of the counters. "Come on! I saw the prettiest ring the other day…"
Kelly dragged Sean from counter to counter. Sean sobbed quietly.
He really, really missed his mother.
*10 MONTHS LATER*
"Coming!" a voice called from inside the house."
The front door opened, and Sean waved, holding his new born sun in one hand and his suitcase that his mother had given to him so long ago in the other hand. "Hi Mom. I brought your grandkid, just like you said."
"Oh Sean!" his mother cried. "I missed you so much!"
His mother hugged him, then took the baby from his arms. Thankfully, he didn't look anything like his mother, and was normal in size and weight. Sean was grateful for that.
"I'll take care of the baby. You set up in the basement, and then we'll talk," his mother said.
Sean did as he was told. He had never been happier to see his mother. He hadn't seen her in 10 months, and she was so much better company than his awful late wife.
Kelly B. had died from a heart attack shortly after giving birth. She had eaten too much, and her heart was working too hard, so it just died out. That was a day ago. Sean wasn't even sad.
The worst thing about Kelly B. dying was that there would be no more good food. Kelly was able to transport to any planet to find food. She traveled to Venus when she wanted lava cake- the surface was hot, and it cooked in seconds. She traveled to Jupiter when she wanted chili. Turns out that the Great Red Spot was not actually a storm system. It was actually chili being stirred by an invisible giant. And when she wanted some extremely expensive food at a fancy restaurant here on Earth, all she had to do was hurtle towards Earth at the speed of a comet, and when she crashed into Earth, it created enough heat and pressure to create diamonds in seconds. That was a very useful skill in Sean's opinion.
Still, no matter how great Kelly B. was at getting the most amazing food in the solar system, Sean was glad to give it all up so that he could get rid of her, and return to his beloved mother and his basement that he called home.