|Smile For Me
Author: AEchavez PM
Sakamoto Karine is an empty hearted teenager with a heartbreaking past. She's disgusted with the world and most of all, herself. Abandoned by her mother, abused by her father. A girl who knows nothing about love and care. Will she ever know?Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,326 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10-08-12 - Published: 01-13-12 - id: 2988130
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
After thirty minutes we finally reached the small orphanage of which I lived in for two years. It's quite lively as usual. You can easily hear all their screaming and laughing from a mile away.
As we finally enter through the small, poorly painted door, Daichi tugs my sleeve, "Onee-chan, one day, I want to go to the Grand Garden! It has to be better than this garden," He frantically points outside the window to a flowerbed of tulips, "and our garden, right?"
I simply nod reasoning that I cannot smile. It is extremely difficult for me to smile. Especially, a fake one. I have never smiled a fake smile. Meaning, I have never smiled a real, true smile for ten years. Yes, ten. There have been multiple situations where it would have been best to smile. Such as a picture, a party or to merely greet someone.
But I forgot how to smile.
Enviously, Daichi didn't. He smiles largely with eager, "Onee-chan, I'm going to go find Ruka-kun."
My lips curve only slightly, not enough to be noticed. "Okay, go ahead. I'll go see Satoshi-san."
He runs off to the boy's bunk room. All the boys share one large room. All the girls share another large room. Infants are cared for in a smaller, quieter room. This orphanage is small and cannot really afford to improve itself look or space wise.
Daichi greatly dislikes having to converse with many children whom have not been properly educated. Uneducated children irritate him immensely. It's rude of him, but it can't be helped.
Luckily, he made a very good, educated, friend on his first visit. I'm thankful to his friend, Ruka-kun, because he motivates Daichi to continue coming. Also, for the fact that he has become Daichi's one and only friend. So far. Getting privately taught and having to be confined in a hospital for a great majority of your life deprives you from many opportunities to create friends.
I head to the small kitchen to discover Satoshi-san. She's the old lady that takes care of all these children. Who once took care of me.
She created this orphanage with her own money and hands. Her and her late husband could not have their own child. He really wanted a son or even a daughter. He could have had one with some other woman but he stayed loyal to his one and only wife. When he passed away, she built this place. I guess this is her apology for not being able to bare his child.
"Karine-chan! You came again. Where's Daichi-kun?" Satoshi-san said in her old cheery tone. Her green hair with strands of grey pulled back into a tight bun.
I set the two oversized baskets on the rusted, steel counter. "He's off to locate Ruka-kun." I say in a faintly controlled voice.
"Oh, yes, that's good." She smiles, "Karine-chan, there are three new children that have arrived this week! Why don't you say hello to them? I'll prepare the tables for the wonderful snacks you brought."
I raise my head from the counter and look at her wrinkled blue eyes. Not very many children are sent here. It's a very old and small orphanage in the middle of almost no where after all. "Well then, I suppose I will." I exit the kitchen and enter the girls bunk room.
"Wah, everyone! Karine onee-chan is here today!" Anna-chan announces loudly. All the girls jerk their heads towards the door where I stand.
"How is everyone today?" I say with my guard down. I lived with these girls. Not everyone wants to adopt a half grow child, like most of them, so most of them are still here. However, the little newborns get adopted fairly quickly. I wonder if the new children are newborns. They should be in the other room then.
Suddenly, all the small girls run up, hug my legs and tug on my dress.
"Karine Onee-chan, did you bring us anything today?" Sekai-chan asks with her slightly raspy voice.
I walk to the nearest bed and take a seat, wishing I could bring myself to smile. At least for these girls. "I just made some sandwiches. Sorry to disappoint you."
Their mouths drop. "Are they high class?! You always bring something that tastes better than any other foods I've eveeer tasted!" Anna-chan says while jumping up and down on her bed across the room.
I manage to laugh, "Everything from my house now is high class." I look at the bed beside hers.
Huh? I've never seen that doll before. It's a child sized doll with super pale skin and rosy cheeks. Its strawberry red hair is filled with untamed curls. I guess one of the girls put it on the bed to make it seem as if it's real. Odd though. No one ever donates toys to this orphanage but me. It seems so still and perfect.
And then it moves.
My eyes grow wide as I hold in a scream of horror. Anna-chan must notice this, "Karine Onee-chan, she's Miya-chan! She came on Friday with another boy!" She says grinning.
I only manage to spout out a hushed, "I see…" due to my shock. She looks like such a fragile doll. So still when she sleeps.
Miya-chan suddenly flutters her eyes open and rubs them with her right hand as she gets out of the bed. She blinks a few times then turns to look at me, her mouth agape.
"Oh- she woke up! Ne, Miya-chan, this is the Karine Onee-chan we told you about! Isn't she pretty?" Sekai-chan says grinning while pointing at me.
I ignore Sekai-chan's pointing. "Miya-chan, right? I see you've come on Friday. How do you like it here so far?"
She stands still and blinks for a few seconds then finally responds. "It's okay…" Her voice is high pitched and hushed. She's short and cute.
I get up and look at her in the eyes. Then ask kindly, "Anna-chan tells me you came here with another child. Is he your brother?"
She blinks her honey eyes. "Yes…"
So she has a brother. Maybe he's her twin or something. She looks about Daichi's age. Her brother should look just as cute and adorable.
Anna-chan speaks up, "You can go see him in the boy's room!"
Sekai-chan waves her hands in the air dramatically, "He's soooooo cute!"
I raise an eyebrow. "Is he? I'll go say hello then." I wave, "Bye girls." They all frantically gesture and scream goodbye in return. Some of them jump on the beds and others run around to continue their wild game of tag. They're an untamed and energetic bunch. The boys are so much worse. Satoshi-san has hardly any rules to discipline them.
I suppose it's better than having them all mope around like old men with injured backs.
The door is wide open. So, I walk straight into the boy's room without having to knock. The boy's reaction was just the same as the girls. They're all happy, loud and hyper. I notice Daichi and Ruka-kun in the corner playing with some toys I brought last month.
I place my hands on my hips. Then ask over the chaos of screams and fighting, "So, who are the new children I've heard about?"
Finally, they go quite and wear confused faces."Arata Onii-san and Toushiro-kun?" Haruto-kun asks while wrapping himself in a blanket and jumping towards me.
That's odd. "Eh? Onii-san…?" I look around and attempt to discover the 'onii-san' Haruto-kun spoke about.
"Who you referring to as 'children'?" A deeper voice than most of the boys here questioned from behind me.
I turn around to look at the person who spoke with a much more matured voice. Oh my. He looks exactly like Miya-chan! "Wai- what? You're not four or six or even seven!" The oldest child that ever entered this orphanage has been nine. Not counting me that is.
"No, no, I was just born. Can't you tell?" The boy with strawberry hair and honey yellow eyes asks in a mocking tone with a grin.
"Bu- but you're so-" I stammer the words out. What am I doing? I sound so unrefined. I need to bring myself together.
"Old?" He grins, "I'm only fifteen. So who are you?" The older, male version of Miya-chan asks.
I look straight into his honey yellow eyes. So pretty. I mean, for a boy.
"She's Karine Onee-chan!" Taizo-kun yells with a large smile then turns to face me, "He's Arata Onii-chan!"
Arata-kun cocks his head. "You seem to be famous here but you're not an orphan." He eyes my clothes. "At least you don't look like it."
"I was." I state almost automatically. It surprises even me. I tear my purple plum eyes away from Arata-kun's honey yellow eyes to see who's tugging on the hem of my dress.
"Karine Onee-chan, what did you bring for us this time?" Haruto-kun asks, still wrapped in his blanket like a caterpillar. They always look for something. It's not their fault though. Most of them were here since they were born. They don't know much about the outside world.
Haruto-kun's parents were murdered on Christmas Eve when he was three years old. That's all I know about him. He won't say more. Taizo-kun's mother died giving birth to him. His father is in jail. Others, such as Anna-chan and Ruka-kun's parents simply grew ill and left them here. Sekai-chan's parents are unknown. Everything about her past is unknown. She was left at the front of the orphanage's doors when she was one week old. Sekai-chan has a heart problem so she was never adopted. I mean realistically, who would want to adopt a child and then watch it suffer towards death?
I sigh, "Let's go see, shall we?" I curve my lips in a smile but not enough to be noticed once again, "Everyone, let's go to the cafeteria. Someone go call the girls." I say in my motherly tone.
If only I could smile for them.
"So… You're Karine Onee-chan?" A soft small voice asks me. I look to see who it is. It's a small pudgy boy. I've never seen him before. Maybe he's the last new child I haven't met. He may be pudgy but his lair looks really nice. His skin complexion is pretty good too. He's just a little tanned.
My step mother watches Daichi and I enter the house.
Her voice shakes with anger, "You two took an awfully long stroll." Daichi lowers his head. With her strong, bossy and heartless tone, she demands for me to go see my father.
Daichi looks at me with worried eyes. It's rare for my father to willfully request my presence. Without protest or questioning, I journey up the staircase and seek for my father's office.
Why does he want to see me today? Perhaps we will discuss my flaws of yesterday's performance. Or maybe discipline me for the purpose of improving? Yes, it can't be that bad.
However, I don't see why this cannot simply wait until after dinner. I'm a little hungry actually. I only had breakfast today. I'm tired too. Partially due to the fact that it is almost nine o'clock. I'd like to sleep soon. If Daichi sleeps before me, I'll sing him his usual lullaby then tuck him in bed.
I finally reach my father's office door. I knock. "Father, you requested for me?" My heart is racing with fear now. I breathe slowly and deeply in attempt to calm myself.
His icy, deep and stern voice startles me. "Yes, come in."
I open the door slowly and take a seat on a cold, chestnut-colored chair. I look straight into his selfish golden eyes. We sit there saying nothing for a few minutes until he alas decides to demolish the silence.
"Karine, you should already be well aware of your step mother's feelings towards you." He pauses, as if I were to respond. However, my response is unnecessary. The answer is palpable; she greatly despises me. But why is there a need for him to bring this up? "We have come to the agreement that your absence within this household would be much more pleasant."
I… I don't think I heard him right. Is he going to abandon me once again?
I clear my throat, "I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?"
He looks into my eyes with a cold stare. "You are to leave this place."
My eyes sting. But I refuse to cry. No tear shall fall from my eyes. Especially, in front of my father.
He narrows his eyes. "When your singing career begins, you are no longer part of this family. From this day forward, your name shall be Mitsui Karine. The money you make shall be sent forth to me. I will give you a small allowance every month for your personal needs. I've already spoken with one of my business partners. You're going to live with his family." He corrects himself, "No, you are now a part of his family. No longer a part of this one."
This was never a family. I whisper to myself.I straighten up and show that his cruel decision does not waver me in the least. I'm okay. His ice cold voice slithers out of his mouth professionally. As if this was all business. "You are to leave now."
My hands tremble and my heart thumps painfully within my chest. What about Daichi? I was supposed to take him to the Grand Garden. He loves plants and nature in general. We were supposed to see it together. Who will take care of him? His mother despises him and my father…
Where will I go? Again, I'm thrown out. The only difference between four years ago and now is that I'm not prepared for it. He said he'd keep me this time. I thought he'd keep me.
What did I do wrong this time?! My mind screams in anguish and horror. Why me? Why, again? My face grows hot and my hands curl into fists. He… He can't be serious.
No, I won't let my feelings overcome me. Not now.
"Is it not possible for me to depart tomorrow?" I ask with a strong voice. Every ounce of my feelings are now hidden deep within me.
He narrows his eyes once more. "Karine," He walks towards me slowly, "get out."
And with his harsh words, my eyes sting. No, they burn. I'm going to cry soon. However, there is no need to. This is life; my life. In my life, there is no love. There is no care.
I relax my face. Then, for the first time in my life, force a smile. "I understand."
A/N: Okay, first; HAPPY THANKS GIVING GUYS! Second, I was planning to post this last month… But I wanted to post it on a Friday and I kept forgetting and finally, I was like, 'NO I GIVE UP. I'M POSTING IT NOW.' So, sorry for keeping you guys from this chapter. :/ Hope you enjoyed it! ^_^
HeavenlyDragonSlayer: Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! ^_^
GeorgeWinstonandCo: Thank you, I'm trying my best to continue. C:
Alyksandra Barqada: Aha, thank you~!