|Hunting for Shrapnel
Author: Kionanovanion PM
A collection of episodes in the life of Lurker, a third rate Super villain, and Nightmouse, a first rate sidekick. M for language, violence and adult themes.Rated: Fiction M - English - Crime/Humor - Words: 674 - Published: 01-17-12 - id: 2989263
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Recommended at 1/2 view, dark. A collboration with my best friend, who sadly does not have an account with FP.Hunting for Shrapnel
Episode 1: The Third Rate Villain
"Hahaha, you can't catch me, I'm the muddafuggin' Gingerbread Man, Bitches!"
Running for his wonderfully fruitastic life, Lurker grinned like a madman. In each of his leather gloved hands was a heavy canvas bag, each filled with money, blocks of gold and various valuable jewels. If he could pull this off, he could be set for a few weeks before he'd have to steal again.
The security guards chased him, each threatening to fire their guns if he didn't stop and drop the bags. Oh, he'd drop his bags alright, but that wouldn't be until he got home to his smoking hot model boyfriend. That was, if he hadn't accidently drank the poisoned wine he'd left in the fridge... That could be quite disastrous.
Rounding a corner, he paused, looking for a way out. He knew that there was an air vent around there somewhere that led out onto the rooftop, but he couldn't remember exactly where it was. His hands buzzed with the vibrations around him, telling him that he was seriously running out of time.
Suddenly, the glass roof shattered, filling the room with a sharp ringing. Lurker's head shot up, catching a blur of black and gold streaking towards him. "Oh sweet whoring mother of Jesus," Lurker murmured before he was swept off his feet and into the far wall.
His head rang and his vision wobbled as the world slowly came into focus. It was that bastard, Toxic Black! Stupid wannabe Superman! Hang on... That was an idea! Muahahaha! Smirking like a lunatic, Lurker pulled off one of his gloves and shoved his hand in Toxic Black's face. "Take this, asshole!" he growled, sucking the power of Flight from the man.
He could feel his body beginning to lighten the more he drained. And then he shot up into the air. THWACK! His back hit the ceiling, knocking the air from his lungs. "Oh, I forgot about that..." he croaked, glaring at the roof. His hands windmilled, trying to adjust to the new sensation of flight. Great, now he was stuck like a fucking balloon at a kid's birthday party.
A deep chuckle wafted up to his ears. "Lurker, how many times have I told you? You'll never be anything more than a common crook with a few useless powers!" Toxic Black laughed, bringing himself to his feet. But he wasn't done yet. With a flick of his wrist, he summoned the biggest ball and chain he could imagine onto Lurker's ankle, effectively dropping the villain to the floor not unlike a sack of potatoes.
"Fuck!" Lurker swore, trying to stop his fall by breast stroking towards the roof. It got him up until the chain pulled taunt, leaving him to frantically flop either side of the solid metal ball. Eventually, Toxic Black strutted over and cracked Lurker in the face, easily felling the villain. With a swift jerk, he pulled Lurker's arms up to chest level and latched on the Enforcer bracelets.
Lurker paused for a moment before he began to wail loudly, thrashing around like an angry dog on a leash. "GET THESE FUCKING THINGS OFF ME!" he bellowed, contrasting heavily with his usually feminine voice. He couldn't feel! Damnit, he couldn't feel the vibrations! The world had grown still, a thing that unsettled his already unstable mind.
With ease, Toxic Black slung Lurker over his shoulder, running a hand over his face. "It's alright, guys. I got this sack of shit under control now," he sneered. Having his power of Flight returned the moment he had slapped on the enforcer bracelets, Toxic Black shot up and out of the building, landing a few miles away at a large, grey building.
Lurker was going to Super Jail.