Author: Paradise in Bluerock PM
*Slash. Implied rape. Language. Violence. Annoying amounts of sobbing in later chapters. Child abuse.* "I-I love you." "I love you too...You're safe now, Conner."Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,255 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 03-20-12 - Published: 01-23-12 - Status: Complete - id: 2991234
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
(A/N: OhmyRa. I forgot to update again. And I don't even have an excuse this time, because it's Spring Break here. Fuck, I'm so, so, so sorry.
I think I did a better job editing on this one, seeing as I actually bothered to go over it… I didn't on any of the other chapters.
Anyway, here's the final chapter of Conner's Washington.
They pulled into a small, dirty motel in silence, and Washington sighed, turning the car off and gently resting his head on the wheel for a few minutes, trying to get his breathing to calm down, before he opened his eyes.
"Stay here. If I don't come back in ten minutes, take the car and drive."
Then, he stepped out of the car, and walked inside.
Conner sighed again, looking back at Allysa - who was now asleep.
He was glad he'd left his phone behind, because it could easily have been tracked, but he regretted not having anything to do while he waited.
He brought a tissue to his face, wiping it clean of tears and dirt.
He could already tell it would be a long night.
Washington returned nine minutes and fifty-seven seconds later-he was counting in his head so he wouldn't get to bored in the silence-and opened the back door, gently picking Allysa up.
"Come on." He murmured, pulling a gun from under the seat, and sliding it into the waist of his jeans.
The brunet teen got out to follow him quietly.
"Where are we?" He asked hesitantly after another moment of silence.
"A motel an hour away." He murmured as he led him to their room for the night, unlocking the door and opening it for him.
Conner bit his lip, following Washington into the room.
Washington shut and locked the door, hesitating, before pushing the near-by couch in front of it. "There's only one bed. You and Allysa take it, and I'll sleep on this."
"When's the last time you slept on a bed?"
Washington hesitated, having to think about it.
"The last night I stayed at that house." he murmured, referring to his foster-parent's home.
The younger boy sighed and shook his head, "You take the bed. I'm sure you can share with Allysa."
The blond shook his head, sitting on the couch.
"Washington-" Conner started.
"No." Washington laid down, turning on his side, back facing Conner.
Conner's face fell, and he sighed, shaking his head.
"Fine. Whatever. Be like that." He muttered, carrying his sister over to the bed so that at least Allysa would be able to sleep well.
Washington didn't answer, closing his eyes, and trying to sleep, ignoring the tears that almost immediately began to fall.
He didn't notice when Conner draped a thin blanket over him, and he didn't notice when Conner curled up on the floor beside the couch.
It was a while longer in silence, before the other boy sighed again.
"I don't believe you." Washington whispered, voice cracking as he tried to stop crying, only to begin sobbing softly into his hands.
"I know. But I mean it..."
The blond ignored him, curling up tightly as he cried.
"...Do you hate me?"
"N-no..." Washington sobbed, "A-and th-that's the wor-rst pa-part..."
Conner winced, sitting up in the darkness to look at him.
"What do you mean?"
"I-I can-can't ha-hate yo-you..." Washington sobbed softly again, face still hidden in his hands.
The brunet hesitated, "w-would you hate me if-if-" he cut himself off.
He couldn't say it.
He loved Washington. It was that simple. But he couldn't say it.
He'd never said those words to anyone but Allysa before, and he never had to worry about her rejecting him, because she was his sister.
But Washington was different. And he couldn't say it.
"I-if?" Washington looked over his shoulder at him, eyes still overflowing with tears.
Conner looked terrified.
"I-IfISaidIReallyDoLoveYou," he muttered, the words tumbling over each other in his haste to get them out.
Washington stared at him for a moment, before sobbing softly, hiding his face again.
"W-why a-are yo-you doin-ing this? H-have-en't I su-suffere-ered enough?" He whimpered, sobbing.
The brunet boy winced, hiding his face as he curled up, mumbling apologies to Washington repeatedly as he tried to keep from completely breaking.
He glanced at Washington, who had curled up tightly, and was trembling. God, what had he done?
Washington probably Did hate him.
And he was never going to forgive him.
Even though he promised.
And Allysa was going to grow up to be miserable.
All because of his own stupid, selfish choices.
Hours later, Washington was awakened by the sound of Allysa's crying.
Conner was already sitting on the bed and trying to calm the girl by the time that Washington was up, but it didn't matter, because now they were all awake.
"Shh, Shh, it's okay, 'llysa, it's okay, I'm right here...hush, everything's going to be okay, angel. Everything will be okay, I've got you," he murmured, gently rocking the two year old.
Washington watched them quietly, eyes stinging from the earlier tears as he looked at the crying girl and her brother.
Conner didn't notice Washington was awake yet.
"Calm down, 'llysa, you're going to wake George up..."
He sighed, pulling Allysa closer to him, "I love you, baby girl... You're safe with us, I promise, we're safe now..." The brunet nuzzled his sister gently as she started to calm down. "We're safe," he whispered, again and again, trying to convince himself as well as his sister.
Washington hesitated, then stood, walking over to the bed and sitting next to them, gently petting her. "You're safe, Princess. Both of you are safe." He murmured soothingly, glancing up at Conner for barely a second, before looking back down at the girl.
Conner looked over at him, his eyes shining with tears.
Allysa whimpered, her tears slowly stopping as she clung loosely to Conner, looking over at Washington. She was quiet for a long moment, before pointing at Washington. "D-Daddy."
Washington blinked, frowning.
"Um..." he looked at Conner, confused.
Conner blinked, then shrugged slightly, just as confused as Washington was.
The blond hesitated, then smiled slightly, "I'm not your daddy, Princess." He murmured softly. "My name is Washington." He gently hooked her bangs behind her ears, rubbing her cheek with his thumb comfortingly.
Allysa looked up at Conner, tears welling up in her eyes again. "M-Mommy?"
Conner froze for a moment, then blushed.
"O-oh," he muttered in understanding, looking away from Washington.
Washington frowned, "Why is she...?"
"I-It's nothing." Conner sighed, hiding his face.
However, Allysa wasn't going to have any of that.
Her hands found Washington's, and she brought the blond's hand to her brother's chest, over his heart. Conner blushed brighter, glancing down at the hand, his heart beating quicker at the simple touch.
He still frowned, "What...?" he murmured, blushing lightly.
Allysa ignored them, taking one of Conner's hands and placing it over Washington's heart. And the two year old's clever explanation was;
Washington frowned, his heart fastening up slightly.
Allysa sighed, annoyed.
"Mommies and Daddies love each other."
She pointed at Conner, "Mommy," then pointed at Washington, "Daddy."
The blond blushed brightly, her words finally clicking in his head.
Conner blinked, looking up, still blushing.
"What do you mean 'Oh'?"
"Just...oh." He murmured, taking his hand back gently and standing up.
The brunet looked up at him, hurt and confused.
Washington looked at the floor for a moment, before taking a breathe, turning away to wipe his eyes quietly.
The blond turned slightly, looking at Conner, eyes still pained. "I-I..." he trailed off, going quiet.
The brunet ignored the stuttering, his own eyes shining with tears as he looked at said blond, his voice cracking as spoke, "Why don't you love me?"
Washington's eyes filled with tears again, and he almost sobbed, beginning to tremble.
"I-I do fucking lov-ove yo-you, Cal-Conner!" He practically snarled, finally giving in and sobbing softly. "I-I'm so-so pis-pissed of-ff at you, and-and I sho-should-d ha-hat-te yo-you, bu-but I-I don-don't-t."
Tears leaked down Conner's face at the words, and down Allysa's at the tone of them.
"Don't cry, Daddy," Allysa whispered quietly.
Washington dropped to his knees, opening his arms slightly for her.
"Shh, shh, don't cry, Princess." He murmured softly, hesitating, before crawling over to them, gently wiping at first her cheeks, then hesitantly reaching up to touch Conner's.
The toddler clung to him, pouting as she looked up at Washington.
"You're not supposed to cry," she whispered, trying to wipe at his eyes, "you're supposed to be happy, so Mommy can finally be happy..."
Conner seemed to break at the words of his sister, hiding his face in his knees as he started to sob.
Washington smiled just slightly, kissing her forehead.
"I'm sorry, Princess." He whispered, then set her down next to him, so that he could wrap his arms around Conner, hugging him tightly.
Conner froze for a moment, then suddenly flung his arms around Washington so that he could cling to him tightly, refusing to look at the blond as he whispered apologies to him repeatedly under his breath.
Washington only hesitated for a moment, before wrapping his arms around him and holding him closer, quietly letting him ramble as he made soft hushing noises, trying to comfort him.
"'m s-sor-sorry-ry," Conner whimpered, finally going quiet when he realized Washington had neither pushed him away or screamed at him yet.
"I-I believe you." Washington whispered, pulling away slightly to gently tilt Conner's head up, looking into his eyes.
The brunet whimpered, biting his lip and nuzzling Washington lightly, the look in his eyes suddenly hopeful.
The older boy slowly leaned down, whispering softly; "I love you, Conner Gates." then pressing his lips to the other boy's gently.
Conner blushed, hesitantly whispering back, "do you really love me, or do you love 'Callie?'"
"I love who ever the one who I've been talking to for the last year and a half is. You said the only thing you ever lied to me about was being a girl." he murmured softly, nuzzling him.
"I love that person who would go on and on about how the clouds looked strange and what happened on that show that you watched every Friday at eight o'clock every week, and the one that cried for hours over the phone when you saw the bird fall out of the tree. Whether that was you or Callie, I don't know, but I love that person."
The other boy smiled slightly, hesitating, before timidly kissing the blond gently.
Washington hesitated, then smiled slightly, leaning down to kiss him back gently, his fingers going to gently wipe at Conner's tears.
Conner purred quietly, pulling back to nuzzle Washington again.
"I love you, too."
He smiled, purring softly as he nuzzled him back, kissing his forehead. "I believe you."
Washington smiled, then pulled away, gently kissing his forehead, before looking down at Allysa.
"Time to go back to bed, Princess. It's almost three in the morning and we have to get up really early tomorrow." he murmured softly.
Allysa whined, and Conner chuckled quietly.
"I'll stay up with her," he whispered quietly.
Washington hesitated, then chuckled, moving so that he was sitting on the bed, pulling her into his lap.
"What if I told you a story, pretty? Then would you go back to sleep?"
Allysa hesitated, curious, "A story?"
Washington nodded, gently wiping away the last of her tears.
"A story about a girl who gets locked away in a tall, tall tower. Do you know that story?"
The girl shook her head, "No. Mommy didn't tell me many stories."
Washington smiled, nuzzling her, then moving so that he was lying on the bed, holding her close, then looking at Conner, "Join us?"
Conner hesitated slightly, before nodding slightly and smiling, lying on the other side of Allysa, "Of course..."
Washington smiled slightly, gently petting the little girl as he began to tell her the story, one of the only fairy tales he knew.
Conner smiled as he listened, looking at his sister fondly and petting her.
The brunet glanced up when Allysa had fallen asleep and Washington had finished the story. He hesitated, then carefully leaned over the sleeping girl to kiss Washington gently.
"Sleep with us now?"
Washinton hesitated, then nodded, smiling slightly.
The other boy smiled, kissing him again gently, just enjoying the feeling of Washington's lips against his own.
"I-I love you," he murmured quietly, before lying down again. "Do you wanna maybe be a family with us now?"
Washington blinked, looking over Allysa at Conner. He hesitated, then smiled slightly as well.
"I love you too...and there's nothing I would love more, than to be a family with you...Everything I promised you will count as a promise to Allysa as well."
"You know that's two of us you'll have to protect then..."
"I know. But it's worth it...You're safe now, Conner."
The younger boy nodded sleepily, his eyes closing and a smile covering his face when he felt Washington's hand twine with his.
Then, right before he fell asleep, he whispered, "You're my Washington, you know that?"
The blond chuckled at the now sleeping boy, smiling and closing his eyes to sleep as well.
"I know, Conner. I know."
(to Thirteen Chances): I hope a day late is still considered 'soon'. Also I hope it met your expectations, if you even had any.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and remember, constructive criticism is still appreciated.
~Abby and Hannah.