|Love Lessons Learnt: The BreakUp Playlist
Author: Bella Shanice Cullen PM
When Jessica Walker is dumped, she is left feeling used and abandoned. But with the help of her trusty ipod and close friends, she manages to make it through. Sometimes the hardest things to let go of, are the things you never really had. And sometimes letting go really is the best option for all involved. Based on a true story, a tale of friendship, love and heartbreak.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,683 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 03-19-13 - Published: 02-03-12 - id: 2994174
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter 2: Haunted
You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
Haunted- Taylor Swift
Ethan and Ali were smart enough to avoid the topic on Monday morning.
In fact, even I had forgotten about it…until we were given a lecture on our attire and the teacher said if we wanted to dress like hobos(yes, those were her exact words) we should change our schools.
"Oh, I'm going to Erstonville right now," I joked to Ali.
The words were out before I could stop them. Realising what I had said, I stopped suddenly.
"I…" I hesitated.
Talk about an awkward situation.
"Are you okay?" Ali asked now that it was out in the open.
"I thought you'd be torn about it," she admitted.
We were silent before I added, "But like I said, we were over a long time ago."
"Why would he say that?"
We didn't say the words. Neither one of us were ready for it.
"I don't know. Don't care anymore."
"He's an ass."
I couldn't help the twinge of pain I felt. Those were words I had heard before. My friends had used it to describe him, I had used it to describe him. Hell, I even called him that to his face a few times.
I woke up at 6AM the next morning, feeling much better. I lay in bed, wondering why I had woken up so early. And then I heard it again. A small buzz. It was coming from under my pillow.
I felt under it and gripped a familiar object.
"Argh," I groaned when I realized that I had forgotten to switch my cellphone off.
Shaun: Rise and Shine!
JessyJ:It's 6AM. I'm sleeping
JessyJ: What do you want?
Shaun: You're not really a morning person, are you?
Shaun: Fine then. Chat later
JessyJ: You already woke me up. The damage is done.
Shaun: You can go back to sleep. It's fine.
I couldn't sleep after that. With a huff, I threw the covers off me and got ready. I had homework that needed to be completed.
Sometime around noon, when I began feeling a bit more like myself(but still very sleep-deprived), I sent Shaun a message.
Shaun: Hey. Done sleeping?
JessyJ: Actually no. I couldn't fall asleep after this idiot woke me up
Shaun: LOL. Idiot? Ouch
JessyJ: Yep. I don't even know what he was doing awake at 6AM. That's practically still night-time.
Shaun: No its not!
JessyJ:It is for some of us
Sunday began in the same fashion, with him waking me up. We chatted for a while before I ended the chat and got out of bed. In that short while it became a habit, he would message me and I would end the chat when I had something more important(homework, chores, family get-togethers) to do.
After the fascinating lecture on our disrespect for our school uniform, Ali and I split up to our different classes.
"How's Chuck?" my friend, Lisa, asked me as we walked to Registration together.
That wasn't an unusual question. It was the question I had been dreading the entire weekend though.
"Um, he's...fine I guess. I didn't speak to him."
She looked at me sideways quizzically. "Why not?"
"Well, you remember last week I said we were over? Coz I was fed up of his crap?"
I fought to continue speaking without breaking into tears. "He ended it on his side. He's…found someone else. Well, he likes someone else."
"Who?" the surprise was clearly evident on her face.
"I…I don't want to get into it."
"He doesn't deserve you anyway. He's an ass."
That makes two. Although if you count the conversation I had with Ethan during the weekend, this would have been the third time.
"Hey you'll get to see him again," Lisa said as we left class.
"Chuck. It's a Friday right? Won't he be on IM?"
She noticed the lack of excitement in my tone. "What happened?" she asked, concerned.
"Nothing happened. It's just…well, we're not the same. If you ask me then we're over from my side."
"Don't lie," this comment was from Ethan who was walking a few steps behind us.
"Shut up," was my response with the usual blush that accompanied any talk about Shaun and I being together.
"Jess, Ethan is calling you," Ali said, interrupting my daydreaming.
"Oh, sorry. What is it?" I asked Ethan who was at the opposite end of the class.
He shook his head. "Never mind."
"Sorry. I was busy," I gestured at the maths textbook.
I could tell he didn't believe me but he didn't say anything.
Ali looked conflicted. I was positive that she was going to bring it up again. Bring HIM up again.
"Hey, what's the answer for the second question?" I asked before she could say anything. "It makes no sense to me."
After class, Tia and I were waiting for transport when she said that he was nearby. Sure enough, I heard Michelle trying to convince someone to come over and talk to me.
"Go say hi."
I bit back a smile and continue going through my messages.
"Jessica!" Michelle called.
I looked up. "Yeah?"
"This is Shaun," she introduced us.
I smiled at him. "Hey."
My voice came out shyly. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.
"Hi," he said just as shyly.
"Is Nate here?" Michelle asked.
"Yeah. He's still back in class," I said, rolling my eyes.
Michelle walked back to class. Tia needed to go then. She gave me a hug. "Behave!" she warned me.
"I'll try," I teased before heading back down to where I promised Nate I would be.
Wednesday came too soon for my liking. And so, as much as I didn't want to, I had a class to attend. I couldn't risk bad grades just because of my pride and Shaun.
I applied some lipgloss and checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror once more. Brown hair tied back in the usual high ponytail, green eyes devoid of any tangible emotion, blue ripped capri pants and a snoopy T-shirt.
My mother stood in the kitchen. It was obvious by the worried look in her eyes that she didn't want me to leave.
"Don't let him get to you," she said to me.
"I know," I gave her the smile I had practiced the entire weekend.
I wasn't sure if she bought it but she didn't insist I take the day off and for that I was grateful.
I hosted my shoulder bag up and took a deep breath, fully prepared to meet my doom.
Shaun: U left!
JessyJ: Yeah, sorry. I promised Nate I would wait for him. I just came up to say bye to Tia and to say hi to you.
Shaun:I wanted to talk to you!
JessyJ: I told Nate I would wait for him outside class. I really am sorry.
Shaun:Ya wateva. Stay wit ur bf den.
I freaked out the second the kids starting coming out. And so I did what I did best in awkward conversations…I started talking to Nathan.
I got him to explain the difference between atomic number and mass numbers. Yes, Physics. That would tell you how weird the whole thing was for me.
I saw Shaun out of the corner of my eye and quickly looked away. I wasn't sure if he had seen me. What I was sure of what that I had seen him hug a girl. This was strange since that wasn't something that I ever saw before. I didn't worry and continued my Physics tuition with Nathan.
Shaun spoke with the girl for a while before heading to our direction. I could hear my heart hammering away. So this was it. I followed the if-i-cant-see-them-they-cant-see-me principle. That had always worked for me when it came to him. So that's what I did.
Imagine my shock when he approached me, my arm linked with Ali's the way it always was when she and I stood together. Shaun approached us and greeted her with a one armed-hug. I wrenched my hand back wondering why the hell he couldn't hug her from the other side but continued talking to Nathan, turning so that my back faced Shaun and Ali.
I felt a stinging behind my eyelids. Oh God no! I wanted to cry! I heard Shaun ask Ali how she was. She answered that she was fine.
He eventually left and I linked up my arm with her again.
"That was weird," she commented.
"Yeah," was all I could say.
I followed her and Nate to the class. We were sidetracked by William who greeted me with a hug. After the Shaun-thing, it felt good momentarily to have a source of comfort.
We hugged, I sent a silent prayer to God hoping that Shaun had seen that and then continued on my way to class.
Ali still seemed to be in shock over the hug while I was still close to tears.
"Oh, wait, I almost forgot," Nate said as we sat in class, waiting for the last of the kids to come in.
"What?" I asked, looking up from my book where I was doodling.
He dug into his pocket and pulled out a blackberry.
I stared at him. "You have bbm!"
I grabbed the phone from him and quickly entered my pin.
Shaun was forgotten but only for the moment.
Class was a blur. I keep playing and replaying the hug between Shaun and Ali in my mind. It hurt even more each time.
My mother realized my mood the second she opened the door.
"He hugged her," I choked out, forcing back my tears.
"And? How did she react?"
"I don't know. I turned away."
I fought back the tears as I made my way to my room. Once I was in safely, I locked the door and finally let the tears fall.