|Chats With My Computer
Author: Closet Genius PM
My overactive imagination. Have you ever wondered what your computer would say if it could talk?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11-06-12 - Published: 02-11-12 - id: 2996317
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Chats with my computer: Chapter 6
Me, Larry, Sam, Ronnie, and Cherry were watching a zombie apocalypse movie then when the movie was over Larry made some rules to survive (In the event that it actually happens) so here they are. Enjoy
Step 1: Don't go to the weapons dealer.
Larry: Yep if you go to the weapons store the person might not let you in…. Or it might seem like a great idea to most other people ya so you probably won't walk out with that 1,550 Cal you always wanted.
Step 2: Don't be the black dude. (No racism intended)
Sam: Are you kidding me? The black dudes' awesome! Glock in one hand M-16 in the other and then…
Ronnie: He died before he could kill a zombie.
Sam: Oh well, easy come easy go.
Step 3: Go to the museum.
Larry: Yeah. Get Viking armor and weapons and you'll be safe because the armor will protect you from being bitten. And the weapons will help you to defend yourself.
Step 4: Kill survivors.
Ronnie: Especially if they're bloody. Seriously, pull the trigger.
Step 5: Surround your house with treadmills.
Me: That's right treadmills. Just sit back at your window and watch the fun. You could even pop some popcorn if you want. Caramel corn is my personal favorite.
Step 6: Don't use a chainsaw.
Larry: Because seriously, they're more of a hazard to you than the zombies…I mean, what if you fell on it? Or on your girlfriend?
Step 7: Under NO circumstances go the hospital.
Cherrie: That's like begging God to let you die. Flesh eaters, surgical equipment, the morgue….Do I even have to go into detail on this one?
Step 8: DON'T make a sanctuary.
Larry: The thing about zombies, they are relentless. And they're too stupid to negotiate. So they can stay in your yard for days, months, years. While you slowly starve to death. And your crying and begging for mercy? That only makes them hungrier…
Step 9: Don't go for the awesome armored vehicle.
Sam: Instead, attach a sharp lance blade thingy to a motorcycle. Then you can make Zom-Kabobs!
Step 10: Do NOT go to the mall.
Ronnie: Mostly because there is glass, like, everywhere. Yes there is a plethora of objects that can become weapons. But there are probably jerky people who beat you there, and don't want to share.
Step 11: Shoot them once. If they get back up, shoot them in the face.
Me: As said before, Zombies are too stupid to know how to give up. So you might as well put them out of their misery.
Step 12: Don't trust the President, the military, or really anyone in a uniform.
Larry: Because they'll throw you into the zombie pit if you do something they don't like. And besides, who really trusts them anyway?
And that's all for now but even though their tactics seem great I don't think my non-organic friends would be very appetizing to a zombie.
P.S I would like to inform you that you can PM me a questions you want to ask Larry. And I will put the questions and answers in a new story. Called, "Larry Computer King". Please DO it or else!