I see not what you see

I see not what you see

I hear not what you hear

I feel not what you feel

I know not what you know

I see something which is no different to what ancient civilisations saw

It's a hard thing to love that which you fear

And if you do…how do you know it's real?

It's a hard thing to love something you don't know loves you

It's hard to trust something with so much darkness attached to it

It's hard to look at God sometimes

Especially, the First Part of the Trinity

Which I struggle to accept the most

Before I even had the chance to know God

As everyone else does, the devil's hand was already too tightly encased around my throat

And I'm shrouded in darkness

I hear sinister, unnatural and inhuman laughter

I feel a heat and smell smoke from below

It's really sad, that was the first thing I knew

Funny thing is, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid because it's right

I fear God so much more than I fear that beneath my feet

I thought once, I could make God smile

But why would He smile at me?

I see not what you see

I hear not what you hear

I feel not what you feel

I know not what you know

I long for just a letter, a song, a poem, a play, a dream, anything

That can be a signal of God's "love" for me

It doesn't have to be special

A scrap sheet of paper with the words "I love you" will do

Or am I just a lost cause that even God can't reach?