3.5.12

i dreamt he wanted me.

i dreamt he put his arms around me, and held me.

i dreamt he smiled at me, took notice of me.

i dreamt we were together.

i dreamt i was happy.

i dreamt-

well, it doesn't matter, right?

see, the problem

with the phrase "i dreamt" is that

the operative word is "dreamt".

dreamt,

the past tense of dream.

to dream. and

it was only a dream.

a good dream, but

still only a dream,

and dreams don't much matter to me anymore,

even if,

for once,

they are happy.

because i wake up,

and i *always* wake up, no matter

my efforts to the contrary.

and when i wake up,

i have nothing so nice

to look forward to,

except

living through yet another day.

suffering through yet another day.

surviving

yet another day.