|Empty Without You
Author: kadabrafreak890 PM
It's been nearly two weeks since Tristan and Zander had that fight, and they still haven't spoken to each other. Zander isn't even sure if they're still together. His best friend Giles locks them in a room to sort things out. M/M. Rated T for language.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Words: 2,437 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-10-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3004165
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I apologize for the time it took me to write this. I realized that I had written myself into a corner, not knowing how to resolve a problem. The only reason I figured it out is because, once again, DawnSister saved my butt. She should get as much credit for this fic as I should, because she basically wrote the resolution scene.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this. And if you haven't read Make Us or Break Us you might want to do that. Otherwise, you'll be a bit more than a little confused.
Empty Without You
Zander sighed and ran his fingers through his damp hair. The fight that he had with Tristan a week ago had been brutal.
He missed his boyfriend a lot—if he could still call Tristan that.
They hadn't talked once since the fight. Not one text or phone call, which felt so wrong seeing as they texted almost constantly. There were no surprise visits from Tristan at Zander's school, and Zander still couldn't get used to not seeing Tristan's car parked in his driveway.
At some point, they were going to have to sit down and talked this whole thing out. Zander loved his boyfriend—he hoped that Tristan knew that—but his jealously wasn't making sense. There had to be something else behind it.
Zander reached out and wiped some of the steam off of the bathroom mirror and stared at himself in it. His normally bright blue eyes had dulled considerably, and his shoulders were in a deep slump.
This was killing him—inside and out.
Giles paused the video game he and Zander had been playing, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and turned towards Zander. "What's going on?" His best friend asked, cocking his head and looking concerned. Giles' sandy brown hair moved with him, his gray eyes focused on Zander. "You never space out on me like this, especially when we're playing video games—and you've been like this for the past week. Talk to me man."
Zander glanced at his best friend and folded his legs under himself, grabbing his ankles. He set his black Gamecube controller on the beige carpet and looked down at his hands. "Tristan and I had a huge fight." Giles pinned his eyebrows together.
"You're still together though, right?" Zander shrugged, his eyes started to water.
"You know, honestly, I'm not sure." Zander's eyes began to water and he wiped at them furiously, not wanting to break down so much as to cry.
"Have you guys talked about this at all?" Zander shook his head, his jet-black hair falling in his eyes.
"No. We haven't talked at all since the fight and it's been a week. We've never not talked for that long before. "I'm afraid that I've made a huge mistake."
"Hey," Giles said softly, putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Whatever the problem was, it's good that you addressed it. Because leaving it be may have ruined your relationship."
"I think that might've happened anyway," Zander muttered, the corners of his mouth turned down.
"Look Zander. If your relationship is as strong as you think, then this little bump in the road won't affect it. If you guys fall out because of this…then it just wasn't meant to be."
"Giles," Zander whispered, his voice quivering. Giles scooted a bit closer to his friend and wrapped his arm around Zander's shoulders. "I don't want to lose him, he means too much to me."
"And if you mean as much to him as he means to you, he won't let you get away."
"I hope you're right." Giles gave Zander's shoulders a little squeeze and smiled.
"Things are going to turn out alright. I promise."
It had nearly been two weeks since Zander and Tristan had spoken to each other, and Zander was almost convinced that he couldn't consider Tristan to be his boyfriend anymore. He felt so empty all of a sudden. He was normally up and doing something at all times, but now he was either in front of the TV watching nothing of importance, or lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose.
Giles had texted him on a Friday afternoon, asking Zander if he could come over to his house. Zander texted his best friend back, telling him that he didn't really feel up to it, but Giles texted back, insisting that Zander come.
Reluctantly, Zander pulled himself off of the couch and out of his house, driving himself to Giles' place. He heaved himself out of his dad's Chevy Camero and knocked on Giles' front door, which almost immediately swung open.
"Hey." Giles said with a little smile, pulling Zander inside and closing the door behind him. "I need your help with something up in my room. You can go on up, I'll be up there soon." Zander shrugged and trudged up the stairs to his best friend's room, stepping inside to see someone he thought he'd never see again.
"Wha..? Tristan?" Tristan was looking equally as surprised at Zander. Suddenly, Giles' bedroom door swung shut, creating a slight breeze that rustled Zander's hair.
"I'm not letting you guys out until you sort out whatever happened between you two!" Giles' muffled voice could he heard from the other side of the door and Zander sighed, leaning back against the closed door.
Tristan looked as perfect as the last time Zander had seen him. He was wearing those white skinny jeans that made his ass look amazing, a black button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his black Converse. Zander's eyes traveled back up to Tristan's face, where their gazes met.
Tristan cleared his throat and sat down on the edge of Giles' bed, brushing his hair out of his eyes—Zander could see clearly, even from this distance, that the usual sparkle in his green eyes wasn't present.
"You only came because you didn't know I'd be here." Tristan said, his voice flat.
"If I had known you were coming-"
"You would've stayed home, I know." Tristan interrupted Zander, his voice icy. Zander narrowed his eyes and folded his arms across his chest.
"I was going to say that I would've had to think of something to say to fix things, but it seems that you don't want anything to be fixed." Tristan set his jaw and stared back at Zander.
"If you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore, just say it and get it over with." Tristan looked at Zander, waiting for the words to leave his mouth. Zander did speak, but not the words that Tristan thought he'd be hearing.
"Seems more like I'm your fuck buddy than your boyfriend." Tristan's mouth dropped open.
"We can't base our relationship on sex Tristan, and that seems to be all we do."
"So you're going to break up with me because I fuck you too much?" Tristan's voice broke in the middle of the sentence, but neither boy mentioned it.
"Are you going to stop screwing me all the time because you think that's the only way I won't break up with you?" Tristan knotted his fingers into his hair and stared at his feet.
"I'm sorry," Tristan murmured, expelling a breath.
"I'm not a sex toy Tristan."
"I know you're not! I love you..." Zander unfolded his arms and clenched and unclenched his fists at his side in annoyance.
"Well you sure have a strange way of showing it. You take me whenever and wherever you feel like it—it's like you don't respect me at all. Don't you understand how that makes me feel?" Zander saw Tristan look up at him, surprised, with silent tears running down his cheeks. "I feel dirty Tristan. You use me for your own pleasure and you don't even pay me for it, so I can't even call myself a prostitute." Zander threw his hands up in exasperation. "I'm worse than that—I'm your whore."
Tristan slid off the edge of Giles' bed and crumpled to the floor, his hands covering his face and his body convulsing with his sobs. He gulped down some air and moved his hands from his face to speak. "Zander, please don't…don't say those things." Again, Tristan's voice cracked. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I never wanted you to feel like that, but I just didn't know how to act. I've never felt so strongly about someone the way I feel about you Zander. Yeah, I've had past relationships, but those were nothing compared to this. This is serious." Tristan glanced down at his shaking hands and curled them into fists to try and stop the movement, but that didn't help. "I love you so much—it scares the shit out of me to know how much I love you. I can't help but think that somehow, I'm going to lose you. That one day, I'll wake up and realize that I don't deserve you. Or that you'll toss me aside like I meant nothing. I had to do something to keep you around because I care about you so much."
"Tristan…" Zander trailed off, not sure of what to say. Tristan slowly crawled his way to Zander's feet and laid there.
"I need you Zander. I needed you so much that I did the exact thing that I was trying to prevent. I'm sorry for acting this way—I'm sorry for my insecurities. Just please, give me another chance. I promise that I'll change. I'll do whatever you want me to do just please…take me back."
Zander glanced down at the sobbing boy at his feet and pressed his lips together, wiping away the tears brimming at his own eyes. He slid down the back of the door and seated himself on the floor in front of Tristan.
"Tristan, all I want you to do is stop. I'm not going to be wooed away from you by some random hot guy or girl, okay. So stop crying, please. Just…stop." Swallowing hard, Tristan sat up and wiped his wet eyes. "And one more thing I need you to do—trust me. You need to trust me enough to know that I'm never going to cheat on you, be taken away from you by someone that I find 'better.' You know, I almost didn't go to the station's barbeque that day—the day that we met. And as fucking cheesy as this sounds, fate made me go. I was supposed to meet you that day, and I don't think fate wants us to end things like this. I think…I think that we were meant to be together. So we need to fix this mess."
Tristan sighed and wiped his eyes again, looking up at Zander who was expressionless, the only sign of emotion being tear trails that ran down his cheeks. "So what we doing? Are we…breaking up?" Zander tugged at his snakebites.
"I don't know Tristan."
"Zander, I need you to take me back."
"I don't know if I can do that."
"I love you," Tristan whispered, his voice small.
"I love you too Tristan, but sometimes I need space. And I need to know that you aren't somewhere, destroying this in fury because you think that the world is trying to steal me away from you."
"Zander, I'll give you as much space as you need. I'll text you less, stop posting as much on your wall on Facebook. I'll even be willing to see you every other weekend instead of every week. Maybe once a month if you want."
"That's not what I want. You know I'd see you every day if I could—every hour and every minute of every day. I don't need space to not see you, I just need some room to breathe. You do realize that we don't have to be making out every time we're together, right? I mean, you don't see your parents with their tongues down each other's throats all the time, right?"
Tristan shuddered. "Oh god, no. I'd probably die if I did." Zander laughed a little, making Tristan smile.
"Well, neither do mine. They can be together and not even have to be speaking—or doing anything for that matter—but they're still together and they're still happy. That's how I want our relationship to be Tristan. Sex is nice, but it shouldn't be happening 24/7. We're more than that, aren't we?"
"Of course we are."
"Good. And it's okay to hang out with your friends Tristan, I won't feel as if you're cheating on me or that you favor them over me. I know you haven't been hanging out with them as often as you used to before we started dating. After all, isn't the rule bros before hoes? Well…I'm not a hoe but still." Tristan smiled a little.
"So we're not breaking up?" Zander smiled softly.
"I guess not."
"You guess?" Tristan frowned and Zander rolled his eyes before springing forward and pinning Tristan to the ground, making him laugh.
God, Zander loved that laugh.
Zander threaded his fingers into Tristan's hair and rested his forehead against his, both boys grinning. "Those two weeks that we didn't talk nearly killed me. My lips were feeling neglected."
"How about I fix that for you?" Tristan pulled his boyfriend close and kissed him.
Giles frowned—the room had suddenly gone quiet. He heard Zander and Tristan talking earlier, but now he heard nothing. He grabbed the doorknob and turned, pushing it open.
And of course, he saw Tristan and Zander on top of each other on the floor, kissing. Giles rolled his eyes and smiled, closing the door.
They were definitely back together.Leave me a review letting me know what you think! Also, requests for future Zanstan fics also welcome!