|The Empire of the Two Suns
Author: Alexander the Greater PM
Theodor Herzl 1860-1904 , the founder of modern Zionism, maintained that anti-Semitism is not an aberration, but a natural and completely understandable response by non-Jews to alien Jewish behavior and attitudes.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Friendship - Words: 1,495 - Published: 03-13-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3004836
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
" The Empire of the Two Suns" by Zayan Sechel, March 2012
Disclaimer: All characters presented here are product of fiction. Any resemblances to real characters are of a pure coincidence. No intention was made to insult anyone for any reason.
AN: This story is an act of fiction. No one should attempt to act in the same manner as described.
Summary: Theodor Herzl (1860-1904), the founder of modern Zionism, maintained that anti-Semitism is not an aberration, but a natural and completely understandable response by non-Jews to alien Jewish behavior and attitudes.
The Empire of the Two Suns
Jonathan Lis and Dan Ephron were eating some greasy food in downtown Tel Aviv, enjoying their freedom before the possible nuclear holocaust threat from the neighboring countries.
Did you know that during the 1930s, Jewish Zionists and German National Socialists shared similar views on how to deal with this perplexing issue? Jonathan's mouth was oily. They agreed that Jews and Germans were distinctly different nationalities, and that Jews did not belong in Germany. Dan's mouth was dripping oil in droplets.
And … did you know that ever since December 2011 all students wishing to enroll in a Hebrew language course must take a placement examination whether they have studied Hebrew previously or not?
They watched as the Orthodox Jews molested some less "orthodox" Jews on the street.
You've heard of Mazrui?
He proposes "chaos" …
No. In fact … Mazrui claims that the gap between the Nazis and Israelis is fast diminishing and this narrowing distance is the fundamental cause of a phenomenon he readily admits exists today, that is, the new anti-Semitism. Israeli protective Forces were passing by the obvious street incident, their black boots shining on bleak sun. Mazrui neglects to explain just how Israel has become like the Nazis though. Jonathan watched as Dan's mouth was looking wet and glossy, sun's rays reflecting as if of some mirror-like surface. He doesn't point to any death camps or forced labor camps. In fact …, Jonathan ate more of oily food, spilling some fro the corners of his mouth, … he doesn't provide examples of any increasing totalitarianism within Israel - no restrictions on the freedom of the press, freedom to associate, freedom to form political movements. No. All he has in his arsenal is the military action taken against Palestinians who unabatedly fired rockets indiscriminately into Israeli population areas. The irony of course, is that it was the Palestinians, led by Haj Amin al Hubreini, who corroborated with and openly supported the Nazis during World War 2. Palestinian leader Hubreini spent the war years with Hitler in Berlin and wanted to export the final solution to Palestine to once and for all resolve their Jewish problem.
Dan's mouth was even greasier as he fed himself with Turkish baklava desert.
Mazrui claims that whereas Jews where once amongst the world's most gifted and created peoples, they have descended into a people only famous for their will to destroy.
Jonathan was messing with his oily finger on his used laptop.
Hey, listen to this!
Dan wiped his mouth with some flannel tissue.
"The Puspaka car that resembles the Sun and belongs to my brother was brought by the powerful Ravan; that aerial and excellent car going everywhere at will ...", he looked at Dan, sugar dripping onto his keyboard, "… that car resembling a bright cloud in the sky."
- Did you know that Jewish settlers regularly use the term against Israeli soldiers in the West Bank, as when troops are sent to dismantle unauthorized outposts.
What term? Some Orthodox Jews pushed as they entered the café. Dan swallowed dry expecting to be hit for no obvious reason.
Never mind. The late Yeshayahoo Leibnowitz, a well-known left-wing intellectual, once described settlers as "Judeo-Nazis" in fact. They watched as the Orthodoxies raped a foreign tourist in front of their eyes. Her freckled face and red hair could not prevent the determined ones. Dan swallowed hard, gulping some water along. Jonathan's mouth were gaping wide open, still trying to apprehend what his eyes were receiving. Israeli traffic cops occasionally complain they're called Nazis by the motorists they pull over.
Even though such settlements are clearly against international law and UN mandate?
The Orthodoxies were satisfied and threw some used cash onto the "wrecked body", leaving in haste. Others either moved a side or trembled in fear, staring at them.
I wonder if Israel, being under current occupational forces, would start to expand …
You mean … physically?
Yes. Like some kind of a sudden, brutal war?
What about it? Jonathan was typing something on his keyboard, his fingers making everything sticky.
How would this new "country" look like?
Well … for a start … it would have two suns.
Two … suns?
That's right. Listen to this. He read from the computer monitor, sun preventing him to see letters clearly. "The gods gathered to bring another sun into being. This is when the Aztec creation story really gets around to explaining what the world is today." He looked at Dan.
Go on … I am listening. Dan's greasy fingers were smearing his jacket and pants.
"The proud god Tecuciztecatl offered himself, but the other gods preferred the humble Nanahuatzin. A great fire was built, but Tecuciztecatl was too afraid at the last minute to jump in. Nanahuatzin did jump. Filled with jealousy, Tecuciztecatl jumped after, followed by a brave eagle and jaguar."
Eagle and jaguar … I wonder if we used to have "jaguars" once …
It sure must have been long, long time ago … before men like Mazrui were hatched …
Read some more. At least it sounds good.
"Two suns began to rise in the east. It was too bright - the gods threw a rabbit into the face of Tecuciztecatl to dim the light, and he became the moon."
I know that Dante had similar vision of the "two suns" … Try to find that!
A girl in mini skirt entered and everyone stared at her as if she was from another planet.
- Here! I found it!
- Dante's model of "two suns," each deriving its authority directly from God, challenges the medieval Christian notion of the pope as "sun" and the emperor as "moon" …
- based on Genesis 1:16 …
- … with the lesser sphere wholly dependent on the greater sphere for its authority and influence. Dante later writes a treatise dealing specifically with this issue of spiritual and political power: he argues in Monarchia that even the sun-moon analogy fails to prove papal dominion over temporal matters because the two spheres possess their own powers, including …
- Wait! That's what Dante believed?
- Yes. Including their own light (3.16).
They watched the waiter escort lady in mini skirt out. Some protested, mumbling.
You know what … the Sun and the Daybreak Star, Venus, correspond to Adam and Eve …
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
What is so "funny"?
You sound … romantic!
They finished their eating and then burped, trying to summon waiter.
In Surah …
Which part though?
Go on …, Jonathan eyed Dan with different eyes now.
The Qur'an says that a traveler sees the sun set in a spring of murky water, and in 18:90 this same traveler finds the specific point at which the sun rises. We know, of course, that the sun does not set into a murky spring of water, and further that the earth is not flat, which is presupposed by the finding of specific places where it rises and sets.
How do you know if the Earth is not flat?
Dan stared at Jonathan.
All right. Even if Israel expands … and there is this new "Empire" all of a sudden … with what ultimate weapon would this new Empire be won?
Ah, here. Jonathan wiped his hands on trousers, leaving greasy marks on them. I found it! "Gurkha flying in his swift and powerful Vimana hurled against the three cities of the Vrishis and Andhakas a single projectile charged with all the power of the Universe." He paused staring at Dan. "An incandescent column of smoke and fire, as brilliant as ten thousands suns, rose in all its splendor. It was the unknown weapon, the Iron Thunderbolt, a gigantic messenger of death which reduced to ashes the entire race of the Vrishnis and Andhakas."
The Messenger of Death … Dan repeated, immersing into the day dream. Hey ...
How would this new "Israeli Emperor" be called?
I don't know? Who cares if he has plenty of such Iron Thunderbolts!
Still … he would need some name …, Dan moved his head lazily to Jonathan, wishing he was not human but rather some alien being able to fly.
How about Zwinglius Redivivus? Satisfied now?
They watched as the lady in mini skirt complained to the Israeli Protective Forces outside, their boots glossy as they walked through the dusty streets.
- Oh-oh … here comes the trouble …