|Speak the Unspeakable
Author: Noble Voyager PM
Have you ever wanted to tell a particular person what he/she needs to improve on without hurting his/her feelings? Well, I experience that a lot, but I never really get the words past my throat.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 1,046 - Published: 03-16-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3005706
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: I wrote this shortly after I reflected upon a particular person whom I feel needs some guidance for him/her to improve that attitude. This person even made me cry those tears I've been holding for so long. So, I just wanted to express what I felt. Just like what I said, I wouldn't want to disclose whether this person is a "he" or a "she". Anyway, I don't have anything else to say from this moment on.
They say if you really love someone, no matter how annoying or infuriating that person can be, you would do anything just to tell that person straight in the face what's working and what's not regardless of how he/she might feel or how it will affect your reputation and relationship. I guess that's what makes you a real friend. You would have the guts to tell your fellow ones what's negative about them in order to help them improve. What's more important is that you manage to reach out to that person even if you may not be the best to offer a helping hand. Of course, there are chances when he/she might not take it in. But every individual, as we all know, does not change instantly. It takes time. He might not realize it at first, but as he takes the time to reflect upon himself, he will eventually change. Besides, who else would understand you the most if not yourself?
I can say in all honesty that I do not exemplify what it truly means to be a real friend, not only to the people closest to me but also to the ones whom I am not very acquainted with. Whenever I see someone whom I feel is doing something wrong, whether it is a close friend or a batch mate, Sometimes I would get really annoyed that I never had the guts to tell that person straight in the face. I would even talk behind that person's back with some of my friends, saying things like, "You know this person really deserves to get a punch in the face" or "I could just stick out my middle finger at you right now." To be frank, one of the main reasons why I fear telling a particular person (especially some of my batch mates) straight in the face is that it might ruin my reputation. Yeah, I know it sounds shallow, but I wouldn't want to risk being laughed at or talked about again now that I have somehow gained their trust. This is what I fear.
Just who, in their whole teenage life, has never experienced this kind of feeling before? I bet a lot of you did, only for different reasons. Sometimes, friends (I'm not saying ALL though.) tend to value their relationship more that they are slowly starting to develop the fear of breaking that connection, probably because they don't have the guts to tell the negative sides they notice from the other. But in reality, you won't find yourself being swallowed up by mere flattery and praise all the time. There will come a time when you can't always live for yourself. Sometimes, you just have to take the time to listen to people who tell you what you can improve on in terms of attitude or performance even if you might find it negative.
In my own personal experience, there is this one batch mate of mine whom I feel needs some guidance, especially in terms of his/her attitude. (Well, actually, I'm not the only one who feels it, but I guess every one in class does.) I wouldn't want disclose whether this particular person is a "he" or a "she" because SOME people tend to misinterpret things. I have wanted to tell this person what I really dislike about his/her attitude because it annoys and infuriates me so much that it makes me want to punch the wall so hard until my knuckles break. This person even made me spill out the tears I've been holding for so long. But just like what I have said a while ago, I never have the guts to even face this person and tell him/her straight in the face, "You really need some improvement" and so on and so forth. I want to stand up for this person but I never really get words past my throat.
There was also this one time when I saw two of my batch mates (one is a boy and the other is a girl) chasing each other to the point that they MIGHT even make physical contact IN FRONT of me. I just stood there as if I don't care at all, nonchalantly cleaning the classroom as they run around the hallway making such irritating noises. And then a teacher of mine reprimanded me for being quiet when I already noticed that they were doing something wrong. She even told me, "If you are just going to remain silent, then nothing is going to happen to this country." And that was the time when I felt the resolve to build up that kind of courage – the courage to tell my loved ones what I feel they are doing wrong in order to help them improve in their own ways.
Of course, I am still a work in progress. Well, every youth out there is. I just hope that I will be able to cultivate this kind of courage in order to help my fellow ones improve themselves as well. I still remember this quote my teacher told me when she reminded me of what I did: "Love casts away all fears." If I really love that particular person as a friend and a classmate, then I should be able to help him/her in some way. It might take a while for this person to change, given his headstrong and stubborn attitude. And it might also take a while for me to obtain this courage. But I am willing to wait and pray to have this courage and also for this person, no matter how long it will take.