|Little Johnny's Colourful Vocabulary
Author: blackabyss1 PM
When you swear in front of little children and deliberately misinform then of the swear word's meaning, the end result won't be one you've hoped for.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Words: 294 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-18-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3006197
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Little, 6 year old Johnny Je was in the car with his dad, in the front seat.
"Faster! Go faster!" he demanded. Johnny Sr, the father, met his demand and increased the speed, until the unforgiving sound of the police siren came from behind.
"Bastard…" Johnny Sr. muttered under his breath.
"Daddy, what does bastard mean?" The father was gob smacked when he realised that what he said.
"Uh…Uh….Uh… policeman." he said in a desperate attempt to refrain from teaching his son vulgar language.
Eventually, being let off with a fine, the father and little Johnny Jr arrived back home.
The father, upon entering, tripped on the doormat.
"Shit!" he cried.
"Daddy what does shit mean?"
"Uhm…. Uh… doormat." he was annoyed at himself for letting those words slip out.
"Oh, okay, then."
Later, little Johnny Jr entered the kitchen, where his mother was preparing dinner.
"Fuck1" she said, after burning her finger.
"Mummy, what does fuck mean?"
"Oh, okay then."
Little Johnny then went through the new words he learnt, one by one, until he went upstairs to see his older brother being taught by his father how to shave.
"Bollocks!" his brother cried, after cutting himself with the sharp razor, but before his father had time to give him a boring lecture on not to use that kind of language in the house, little Johnny said, "Daddy, what does bollock mean?"
"Oh, okay then."
Johnny went back downstairs, happy to have learnt some new words, when the doorbell rang.
He ran to answer it and found two policemen standing there.
"Oh, hi you bastards! Mind this shit, my mum's fucking the dinner in the kitchen and my dad's bollocking with my brother upstairs."