The Making of Me

I can't believe it's been a year since that day nothing could stop my tears no matter how loud I cried, no one heard me and I no matter how hard I tried, I never stopped crying but I never stop trying to get her back but I knew that pretty soon everything would go back to normal but things would go back to the dark days where everyday seemed like I was in a maze looking for the middle but finding dead ends and realising I was pointing the blame onto all my friends. Now I know it's hard for you to understand what I'm on about but I think it's time you all should know why I'm sat here today, reading what happened yesterday, praying for a better tomorrow but sometimes the truth is hard to swallow but I need to follow what I said I was going to do before and promised myself I'd never be in the situation I'm in again, but I know that no matter how hard I keep the distance it seems to creep ever closer, like destiny finally reaching me and stretching out a mocking arm, promising me and new path with no harm but I know I created my own drama, so I deserve my own karma. But I curled up into a ball, and laid there on the floor begging for protection especially after Chanelle's rejection and as I watched Chanelle disappear never to reappear leaving me alone surrounded by my old fear, my old foe seems to like to return though and no matter whoever's there for me, they'll never truly understand me

I want you to go find someone, spend every moment together, share every laughter, smile every smile, cry every tear and fall in love. Then have it ripped away from in a split second. Then you can tell me everything is going to be okay. All these little things are the jigsaw pieces that made my life. All the little fights and all the sleepless nights are the reason that I have my views. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I seem to see every little lie. No one of that seems to matter now, and all of you are just thinking how. But all these footprints fit my shoes, and all these footprints made my blues, but all my life has made me the person who I am today.

Everywhere I turned seemed to be a dead end. Hitting brick walls and falling down again. I struggled to get back up but I knew thing's would be different the next time but I got stuck in same situation so it was the same outcome. I can't and shan't numb my feelings because I still have the belief that things will turn out good in the end. It seems naive and a childish notion, but there's no other way to express my emotions. I ask the question, am I stupid for holding on? They look at me like I'm shit and brush me to the side. I was never scared of talking till I got to class because everything I wanted to say I knew was gonna get judged. I started out with one name and left with a hundred. No one took the time to see through me. No one was bothered but I put my head down and I knew what the right thing to do was. Then I came out of my shell a bit and broke out of my comfort zone but things still turned to the worst. People say it's bad karma, but I don't want no drama. It seems to me like I'm a magnet for bad luck. People say life's what you make it but I didn't wanna end up like this, I tried to make I wasn't like I am today. But that's another story that I'll save for later because I'm sure that this is pissing off my haters

I want you to go find someone, spend every moment together, share every laughter, smile every smile, cry every tear and fall in love. Then have it ripped away from in a split second. Then you can tell me everything is going to be okay. All these little things are the jigsaw pieces that made my life. All the little fights and all the sleepless nights are the reason that I have my views. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I seem to see every little lie. No one of that seems to matter now, and all of you are just thinking how. But all these footprints fit my shoes, and all these footprints made my blues, but all my life has made me the person who I am today.

Now you see I met this girl and I knew she was different but I daren't go and speak to her because of what happened last time. I tried my best to get close but I was pushed away, she never truly understood. But then all of a sudden, there was a rush of adrenalin and then we started to get closer. It was what I'd wanted and I wanted to keep it going for as long as it could. I thought about making it more advanced but then I knew I'd pushed it too far and things started to go back to how things used to be. She'll never truly know just how much it meant to me that she took the time to talk and didn't assume I was in it just for her. It was just how I planned things, we had our ups and downs but that's just life and I know that I sit here and moan and you all probably think what's wrong with him? Well I just told you that there is more than meets the eye. More under my surface and more problems I need to face

I want you to go find someone, spend every moment together, share every laughter, smile every smile, cry every tear and fall in love. Then have it ripped away from in a split second. Then you can tell me everything is going to be okay.