Hold On

Beep. Beep. Beep. This is the sound she woke up to after her surgery. Beep. Beep. Beep. Everything was blurry. Then she recognized voices. The first voice was her mother's.

"-all right, doctor?" she heard her mother say.

"We can't say for sure," came another voice that seemed familiar. "Everything went as planned, but she is still very weak."

"But will she be okay? Tell me, will my daughter live?"

She heard a sigh. "I hate to have to tell this to you; I couldn't imagine what I would do if someone told me this about my own child. The only thing that will keep her alive is the will to live. If she lets go she will slip away."

She heard her mother choke on a sob. "Thank you doctor. May I stay with her for a moment?"

"Of course." He left the room.

She closed her eyes, not wanting her mother to know that she was awake. Do I want to live? She thought to herself as she heard her mother sit down on a chair beside her. She felt angry at her mother, because she was here now, but where had she been for her at any other times? Where had anyone been? She thought about her life.

Her parents had gotten a divorce almost a year before her heart had started failing. Her mother was unstable but her father was worse. She had wanted to live with her grandmother, but she had died two months after the divorce. The thought of her grandmother brought tears to her eyes. Her grandmother had always been there for her, and she had let her to Christ. When her grandmother had died it brought so much grief to her that she got sick. Her heart had started failing. She had gone into surgery. And that is where she was now. Feeling exhausted, she fell back to sleep.

When she woke up she was in a dream. She was standing in an open field and wind was blowing everywhere. It was hard to see anything. Then she heard a voice calling her name. "Hello?" she called back.

"I am here," the Voice said.

"Who are you?" she called. "I don't see you."

"I am with you," the Voice said.

"But where? I can't see you,"

"You cannot see me, but you know I am with you. I have been with you all the days of your life. I have seen you, protected you, and comforted you."

"But who are you?" she asked.

"I Am that I Am," the Voice said.

Then she saw something moving toward her. Soon she saw that it was a person. As it approached, she saw that it was her grandmother. She tried to move to her, but the wind was holding her in place.

"Grandmother!" she tried to shout. "Grandmother!" But the wind carried her voice away. Soon, though, her grandmother was standing right in front of her.

"Hello, child," her grandmother said to her.

"Is it really you, grandmother?" she asked.

"Yes, it is, in a way," she replied. She tried to move closer to her grandmother again, but the wind was still blowing strong.

"Oh, Grandmother, I miss you so much."

Her grandmother smiled. "I have come to tell you that He has a plan for you."

"Who? What is the plan? I'm going to die, anyway."

"I have come to tell you to hold on," her grandmother told her.

"But I don't want to," she replied. "I want to be with you and Jesus in heaven."

"You will be soon," her grandmother said.

"When?"

"In His time."

"How long is His time? Who is He? Is He really in control?"

Her grandmother smiled again. "He is that He is. There is no questioning Him. Now, you must make a decision. I will see you soon." And then she was gone.

When she woke up, she was back in the hospital bed. Her mother was still in the chair, but now she was asleep. She was still there.

"Mother?" she asked. Her mother opened her eyes.

"Oh, my baby," she said. "I've been so distant lately; I'm sorry." She was crying.

"I-I forgive you, Mother," she replied. She held her mother's hand. She thought about her strange dream. Or was it a dream. And who was "Him"? She remembered what they had said. He is that He is". "I Am that I Am". Then, she understood.

Epilogue

She got out of the hospital a week later. She grew up to become an evangelist and she told people the story of her amazing dream; the dream where God spoke to her. She has led hundreds of people to Christ. If they ask her how she knows if it was really God that spoke to her, she only replies, "He is that He is. And there is no questioning Him."