Author: Raj Raj PM
Bears usually won't attack humans - but get between a mother bear and her cub, and she'll tear straight through you. Apparently, the same rule applies to human parents.Rated: Fiction M - English - Parody/Supernatural - Words: 588 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 04-06-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3011149
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"Berserk Button" by Serbian Dragon, April 2012
Disclaimer: All characters presented here are product of fiction. Any resemblances to real characters are of a pure coincidence. No intention was made to insult anyone for any reason.
AN: This story is an act of fiction. No one should attempt to act in the same manner as described.
Summary: Bears usually won't attack humans - but get between a mother bear and her cub, and she'll tear straight through you. Apparently, the same rule applies to human parents.
One winter day papa-Bear and mama-Bear went out of their house to find golden mushrooms.
Golden mushrooms grew only during one winter month and were hard to find.
While his parents were out, baby-Bear opened the forbidden book his dad, papa-Bear, hid underneath the bed. He checked quickly at the window to make sure they were gone and then returned to bed, opening the book.
Inside this book there were green trees, there was green grass, birds singing and some other animals that baby-Bear never saw before were also dancing and playing on the sun.
To his astonishment … there was NO snow!
That night baby-Bear sobbed in mama-Bear's hug.
"What is it my dear?", she asked, patting her son.
"I … I've read the forbidden book today …", he managed to squeak in fright.
"Oh, don't worry honey …", mama-Bear kissed her son, "… one day you will understand why that book is forbidden."
But he never did. Due to his instinctive fear of being devoured by his parents due to lack of food, baby-Bear took cleaver and the kitchen knife and did his parents the very same night.
First he cut the head of papa-Bear figuring he'd offer more resistance than his mother. But since the butchering sounds awoke his mother, he had to chase her all over the living room, finally throwing the knife into her fat belly, making her crouch for one easy blow in the head.
Later on, after he washed the stains away … he skinned his parents and sold skin to the local fur retailer. He was a bit surprised but, nevertheless accepted the dense, insulating undercoat, licking his lips from imagined profit.
As the years went by, baby-Bear decided he was way too lonely and finally managed to seduce Lady Fox to stay and live with him.
But when she gave birth to his son, baby-Bear realized it resembled more wolf than a bear.
"You … bloody whore …!" Baby-Bear was so enraged that Lady Fox cheated him with Big Bad Wolf that he chopped her to tiny pieces and offered her meat to the vultures at the Snuggle Rock. Vultures thanked him, enjoying the unusual feast.
As the years went by, his son, baby-Wolf grew up and started to drink and hunt some wolverine prostitutes in the woods.
"Son …", baby-Bear rasped one day, still under the influence of some sedatives that the Midnight Owl gave him, "… it's either you leave this house or it'll be your carcass …"
Baby-Wolf was in shock. All those years baby-Bear faked his fatherly love and was probably planning do perform some other gruesome activities that baby-Wolf did not wish to name.
The next day baby-Wolf left his home, just in order to be shot by some eager hunters in the Green Valley.
Baby-Bear died of old age, forgotten and forsaken due to his bad deeds.