Electric Kiss

This story is of a man and his love for kitchen appliances. He was renown for knowing everything there is to know about the tools of the hungry trade. Everyone around would come asking for his advice on whether or not to buy that new microwave or to use that so-called "innovative" grill or cooking machine.

However, one day the man was searching through the shelves full of appliances in the store. The store was one of those kind of places where you could get just about anything you needed or wanted. While he was searching for a replacement for his microwave, he found the toaster of his dreams. The smoothness of the metal was ecstasy to his hands. The weight, which was not too heavy nor too light, was very nice for a toaster. It even looked to be more sturdy than a brick house. He swooned over the possibility of the the perfect toast or frozen waffle. Without anymore hesitation, he snatched up the toaster along with the microwave that he needed. As he was driving home, the man couldn't keep his eyes off of his rear view mirror. This was because he put his brand new toaster in the back seat. He couldn't stop thinking about how well that toaster would work for him. It was as if he was completely enthralled by the simple toaster. Suddenly, his car started to veer off the road onto the other side with oncoming traffic. The man didn't even flinch one bit as he continued to leer at his beloved appliance. He was finally snapped out of his trance when an oncoming car started to blare it's horn. The man reacted quickly and swerved back over to the other side of the road but he over steered and his a ditch that was next to the road. The force from landing into the ditch caused the car to flip. Frustrated by his predicament, the man climbed out of the driver side window and grabbed his toaster which had not suffered a scratch of damage. He decided to leave his only means of transportation for his love of a simple toaster. While he walked home from his accident, he started to rub his cheek against the toaster's surface. It felt smoother than a baby's bottom. He started to squeal with glee as the man start to prance along the sidewalk. This of course, got the attention of every passerby on the road and sidewalk. They started staring at him and walking away scared or disgusted. To him however, they were all jealous that they did not have such a fine toaster at their disposal. The longer they stared at him, the longer he felt threatened by the their glares. He even started to hide his toaster away from the public in his jacket.

"They don't deserve to see the beauty and craftsmanship of the gods." The man murmured.

After about an hour of walking, the simple man finally reached his home. Hearing the clunk of the door unlock, he enthusiastically opened it. He started dancing around and sighing as he held his new toaster. It was at that point, his emotions snapped. He stared at the toaster lovingly and even kissed it on the side. The simple appliance had somehow entranced him into thinking that he was in love with his cooking tool. The man giggled as he gently set it down on the on top of the counter. The toaster even seemed to glitter upon the reflection of his glass counter. He pranced some more before he finally got the loaf of bread out of the bread box. He slowly put the bread into the toaster and set it to a light toasting setting. He pulled down on the lever and it replied with a clang. The appliance started up as it whirred and began to heat the bread. At this point, the man was dancing and clapping as he gazed upon the toaster doing it's thing. A couple of minutes later, the toast popped out of the toaster and was grabbed greedily by the man. He ate his toast in complete bliss; however, there was something wrong with the toaster. It started to malfunction as sparks flew and crackles were heard from it. Carefully, the man started to unplug the toaster from the socket. But it was too late. His toaster was already gone. Gone to the heavens where other appliances must go when their life flickers out. The man wept as he saw his beloved toaster go before his very eyes.

"This cannot be! You were the finest toaster of them all!" He blubbered.

Sinking into depression, he decided to give one last memory of his broken toaster with a farewell kiss. He then buried it next to his patio and put flowers on top of its burial site. No longer would the toaster make him feel love or special. To him it was if the perfect toast was the appliance's last goodbye.