Twas the night before Easter,when all through the house

Every creature was stirring,but not no dang mouse

The Easter eggs weren't dyed with much care

Hoping that dang bunny wouldn't come there

The children were sleeping,finally went to their beds

Or maybe they all just hit their heads

Mamma wearing none of your business and I the same,

had just settled down hoping that dang bunny hadn't came

When out in the living room there was such a clatter

I fell out of my bed,then went to check on my cheese platter

Away to the stairs,I flew in a dash

Fell down them all,just like a flash

When I turned on the light

Guess who was there,no less in the middle of the freaking night

Before my eyes,what should it be

But an animal,a big bunny

With a little nose,so tiny and pink

I knew who it was,and it gave me a wink

Out of thin air,eggs they came

And that little old bunny called them be name

Now Thrasher! Now Panster! Now Lanster! Now Mitten!

On Vomit! On Stupid! On Conner! On Fitten!

Go through the door! Not through the wall!

Go away! Go away! Go away all!

And then,in a tinkling,I turned my back

And hit my head with a loud Thwack!

As I turned back around

From the chimney I heard a sound

It was Santa,covered in fur

For a second I swore that he was a her

For once he didn't have a bundle of toys on his back

What the heck? He has a six pack! (I'm going to say it's pop. Hehehe...)

The drinks they fizzled,as they sat by a man that was "so merry"

Omg he has my favorite,Cherry!

He handed me a bottle,around it a big red bow

This is so awesome,it's North Pole snow!

He reminded me to always brush my teeth

And that it was never a good idea to eat a wreath

For a gift I gave him some meat from the local Deli

Plus some yummy strawberry jelly

I couldn't help but think how he looks like an elf

And when I laughed,I got kicked into the bookshelf

I let out a sigh and thought in my head

This guy is so old,how is he not dead?

Santa left saying he had to return to work

Leaving me alone by myself,what a jerk

The bunny,still there,wiggled his nose

And all of the sudden,out the door he goes

The bunny jumped in a car,and to the eggs he gave a signal of sorts

And they all flew away,off of my front porch

For some reason,the Easter Bunny yelled as he drove out of sight

"Happy Easter to all! And to all Santa's pants look like they're too tight!"