|Twas The Night Before Easter
Author: Deep Blue Sea Girl PM
Twas the night before Easter and all through the house. Every creature was stirring,but not no dang mouse.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 497 - Published: 04-07-12 - id: 3011662
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Twas the night before Easter,when all through the house
Every creature was stirring,but not no dang mouse
The Easter eggs weren't dyed with much care
Hoping that dang bunny wouldn't come there
The children were sleeping,finally went to their beds
Or maybe they all just hit their heads
Mamma wearing none of your business and I the same,
had just settled down hoping that dang bunny hadn't came
When out in the living room there was such a clatter
I fell out of my bed,then went to check on my cheese platter
Away to the stairs,I flew in a dash
Fell down them all,just like a flash
When I turned on the light
Guess who was there,no less in the middle of the freaking night
Before my eyes,what should it be
But an animal,a big bunny
With a little nose,so tiny and pink
I knew who it was,and it gave me a wink
Out of thin air,eggs they came
And that little old bunny called them be name
Now Thrasher! Now Panster! Now Lanster! Now Mitten!
On Vomit! On Stupid! On Conner! On Fitten!
Go through the door! Not through the wall!
Go away! Go away! Go away all!
And then,in a tinkling,I turned my back
And hit my head with a loud Thwack!
As I turned back around
From the chimney I heard a sound
It was Santa,covered in fur
For a second I swore that he was a her
For once he didn't have a bundle of toys on his back
What the heck? He has a six pack! (I'm going to say it's pop. Hehehe...)
The drinks they fizzled,as they sat by a man that was "so merry"
Omg he has my favorite,Cherry!
He handed me a bottle,around it a big red bow
This is so awesome,it's North Pole snow!
He reminded me to always brush my teeth
And that it was never a good idea to eat a wreath
For a gift I gave him some meat from the local Deli
Plus some yummy strawberry jelly
I couldn't help but think how he looks like an elf
And when I laughed,I got kicked into the bookshelf
I let out a sigh and thought in my head
This guy is so old,how is he not dead?
Santa left saying he had to return to work
Leaving me alone by myself,what a jerk
The bunny,still there,wiggled his nose
And all of the sudden,out the door he goes
The bunny jumped in a car,and to the eggs he gave a signal of sorts
And they all flew away,off of my front porch
For some reason,the Easter Bunny yelled as he drove out of sight
"Happy Easter to all! And to all Santa's pants look like they're too tight!"