i find that lately i care a lot less
about whether i look awkward in pictures,
or if i eat ice cream in public, or if i
choose to wear an unflattering sweater.

and i find that lately i prefer to keep my
hair cut and my eyes open, my
laughter long and grudges short.

this past year, i've realized that
it matters a lot more that i spend time with
my friends and family
and a lot less if my roots are showing
or if i make a stupid joke.

it's that my smiles mean more and
my ex means less, that i don't
search out dangerous boys
and instead discuss literature with
this guy who cares about me.

and it's that i fall asleep in the sun
even though it means my skin will burn and
my freckles will multiply,
because it's warm and comfortable and
i like to lay outside and read beautiful books
and have meaningful conversations at three in the morning
with my sister, my best friend.

so maybe i'm not perfect
maybe i don't fit your definition of
satisfactory or successful or superior
maybe the scale shows the wrong number
and my tags have the wrong brand
and maybe i don't use sunblock as often as i should

but this is so much better -
this is so much better