|Shot by Cupid's Nerf dart
Author: Dark818 PM
They're best friends, he loves her, she likes him, yada yada yada, blah blah blah. WARNING: If you don't know Nerf or Humans Vs. Zombies, proceed at your own risk. Also, there's quite a lot of swearing, sexual references, and other fun stuff. Part One of the Warne Trilogy. So, you know. Start here.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,366 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 04-12-12 - Published: 04-09-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3011978
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Nerf or Human Vs. Zombies, though through no lack of trying. I also don't own The Duchess, Neoneco does, but The Vigilante is mine, so back off.
"Aidan! Up and at 'em!" Claire yelled as she unlocked my door. Looking back, it probably wasn't the best idea in the world to give her a key to my room. True, she's my best friend in the world, but the chick's one hell of morning person. I mean, like waking up at dawn. Personally, I'd rather be sleeping 25 hours a day, but hey, I've got university classes to attend, which makes Claire a very handy walking alarm clock.
I tried to go back to sleep, until I heard the sound of a Nerf blaster being loaded. Judging from the sound, she'd grabbed the Vulcan off my table. Crap. I figured I had about twenty seconds before she started pillaging my room, so I grabbed the Maverick sitting on my nightstand and hid behind the door.
Damn, why was it so cold? I looked down. Ah, right, boxer shorts and nothing else in the middle of winter will do that. Truth be told, I kind of wished I had time to throw on a shirt. I'm not exactly the most muscled of guys, and I was always trying to impress Claire. I'm just going to say it right now: I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her. I'd never admit it, though. She likes the jock kind of guys, not the nerdy best friend kind of guys. Yeah, I know, this is starting to sound like a movie. I guess that makes me a walking cliché. Whoop de doo, Basil.
My thoughts were interrupted by the Claire quietly opening the door, trying to surprise me, with the big-ass Vulcan slung from her shoulder. God, she looked so beautiful like that. I don't know of any other girl in the world who would even touch a Nerf blaster, let alone look awesomely hot with one. "Aidan? Dude, if you've climbed out the window again, you're dead." I pointed the Maverick at the back of her head. "No, you're dead." She looked around and smiled at me. "Looks like we've got ourselves a Mexican stand-off."
"A Mexican stand-off is when we've both got a gun pointed at each other, not just me pointing one at you."
"Look down." I did so. There, sticking out from between her ribs and her arm, was my other Maverick, pointed straight at me. God-freaking-damnit, that girl's good. She flashed me a cheeky grin that made my heart do a triple backflip with two twists, and a perfect landing for good measure. "Gotcha. Dude, throw some clothes on, I can see your junk through those shorts." I did my best to play it cool, but really I was mentally banging my head against the wall. "So? You've seen it before."
"Yeah, but last time I was drunk, so it doesn't count. Now come on, our classes start in an hour and a half, and I want to get breakfast from Benjy's first."
"Alright, fine. Get out so I can get dressed. Unless you want to see me naked..." Claire shrieked and ran out the door. Works every time. I threw on some jeans and a colourful shirt. By colourful, I mean a black shirt with a logo on it, as opposed to my usual plain black shirt. My fashion style (if it exists) would best be defined as monochromatic.
I walked out to where Claire was lounging on the old couch, flipping through channels on the T.V. "Crap. Crap. Crap. Seen it. Crap. Dr Phil. Crap. Yeah, I give up. Let's get some chow." I grabbed the keys off the hook, and was locking the door behind me when she burst back into the room. "Left my phone in there!" I sighed. She did that every single time.
"Alright, I need to ask you a question, and I want your totally honest answer. Which side's better to be on in Humans Vs. Zombies, the Resistance or the Horde?" Wow, that was a hard question. We were lucky that our uni' was one of the few in Australia that played HvZ. Claire and I both played, I went under the codename The Vigilante, and she called herself The Duchess, both from a Doctor Who fanfiction story we read a while back and loved. "Hmm... I've got to say Horde, it's easier to win as a zombie."
"What? No way, man, Resistance all the way!" Claire usually ended winning the games for the Resistance, since she was one hell of a runner. Me, I always ended up a zombie, but I usually tried to get bitten anyway. It was too much fun being a zombie. It helped that I'm a pretty big fellow. People think twice about shooting a 6"5 mound of zombie rampaging at them. Call me twisted, but I loved it when they ran for their lives.
We were sitting at Benjy's, one of the restaurents that was on campus. Depending on the time of day, and who was in the kitchen, Benjy's could be a diner, a sushi bar, a steak house, you name it. Luckily, today it was just an normal restaurant, so when the waiter brought out our breakfast, it wasn't wrapped in seaweed or produced wholly by a cow. Claire had gotten bacon and eggs with a hash brown, while I had gone for a bloody huge pile of pancakes that they called "The Tower of Technicolour Yawning". Catchy, huh?
Claire's eyes popped out her head as she saw it. "Again? You're not serious, right?" Last time I had tried to eat it, I gave up halfway through, and spent the next two hour sitting by the toilet, just in case. "I'm serious. This sucker's going down." This time, I got about the whole thing down. Yeah, I had been training. Those pancakes had stolen my dignity, but I had won it back. I walked out of there a proud man,, while Claire just kept looking at me like I was crazy.
Eventually, our classes started. I was studying for a Degree in Education, while Claire was doing one in Arts. By sheer fluke, almost all of out classes were at the same time, so we spent most of our spare time together. We parted ways with a hug, which I tried my best to drag on. She smelled like a guy. Son of a bitch, she'd been using my shampoo again.