I smile at the ground and watch your fingers skim the

Patterns on the wall, their crookedness and

Elegant angles, remind me that I would have them

Dance across me, if we could just

Open.

I feel a change come about me, looking up at you

With wide eyes, saying nothing and everything

Suddenly, the silence around us thickening

You sigh, your mood quieting,

and look away, your hands unsure whether to retreat or

Advance.

I am unsure and thin as glass

Tracing nondescript shapes behind my back, not wanting

Discussion or reason, just your confidence

And calm eyes, I can feel my naivety like a wall

Wanting you to break it down and through, you could just

Try.

Your shoulder blades cutting into the door frame,

Your body is a question,

Catching me off guard and making me want,

Want of understanding and compassion

A want of answers—

And I feel something akin to lust flutter between my ribs.

Your eyes flicker to my face

And your hand reaches out, weakly

As if you would help it if you could, and you just

Can't.

I feel that sadness, this inevitability and let it

Consume me, reaching out to wrap a thin hand around your cool one

You stand and I take a shaky step forward,

Stepping into your shadow, from beneath here

I can see the line of your jaw

I inhale, letting this reality settle,

Exhale.

You lean in—

Caught up in my idea, the curve and fall

Of my lip, making moves that could undo us

The hairs on the back of my neck

Standing, your mouth coming near, these shadows

Closing in around you, filling up the spaces

Beside you.

I don't run—

My heart changing with the air, full and

Fast pounding as your lips draw nearer,

The space between us is too far

Your thumb on my brow

And too little, what our actions could create or destroy

Your nose on my cheek

The results too great and too simple, what is

Your breath on my neck

Desire and what is need, could it be too much?

I press my lip into your lip, all at once

The kiss an introduction, a soft and private hello,

Gripping lightly to your shoulder,

Your breath trembles

And you open your

Mind.

Letting my body become the answer

And the solution, we don't even

Care to understand, wrapping your fingers around my wrist

There is only what we are now,

In this moment, only

What we want and what we came for

And nothing on how to keep it,

I am gasping

Trying to keep pace with your

Reckless hands, their curiosity and urgent searching,

We want more

Then more, and nothing less.

I accept that it may always be this way,

Fighting and dreaming and pretending not to

Break, embracing this moment of

Surrender and

Selfish want.

We know better, but

We'll never stop it. This desire at fault

For our endless and perfect sin.