Trembling,

I look down at your twisted mouth,

White fingertips and the shadows in your cheek

As you lay there asking me to hold on

And grip tighter,

I'm too amateur though

Gripping to your frame with something like panic

My forehead dripping,

My head spinning

Because I've never done this before.

You just groan and throw your head back

Your neck pulsing

Everything around me shaking

And I feel your hands like a drowning man

On my hip and awkward elbow

You've found a place, and I try to find you

There, where everything is noise and sweat and sound

Though your body

Your narrow waist and veiny arms-

I'm a little disgusted, how human we are

Fucking

Parts of you and parts of me together- like animals

Though the line of your collarbone

And your dark-lashed eyes are making me

Primal.

I want to cross lines and jump outside this

Innocent shell, impulses like wanting

My teeth on your lip and my fingers down your ribs

I'd like to rediscover and recreate with you,

Parts of you all over parts of me,

And watch our skin change shades.

But I'm too many nerves

And shy little nods,

Shy little mews

And sighs against your neck

-I would hide my face and dig under your skin if I could-

Because everything

With me, feels so wrong and

I know this isn't the first time you've had a pretty girl blushing on your hips.

Your face makes shapes

And your mouth, sounds, unnamed and undefined

I want to write them out,

To study and understand them,

To find them and live somewhere inside them,

Your breathing ragged

If I put my palm to your chest I'd feel that caged thing

Beating

Like it's trying to break out, break free

Am I making you free?

You murmur something about more

About yes

And fuck yes

And shit,

Like intoxicated pleas-

I think you've made a drug of me.

My fingers curl on your shoulder,

My knuckles running down your spine like piano keys

We are two different people

Legs and arms and fists,

And I don't think we even see

We're forgetting

The important things.

Like yesterday and tomorrow, and

wasthisagoodidea

But I don't care, this sound is everywhere

In that place, between sensation

And breathlessness

With your gentle hands and dirty fingernails.

I close my eyes, feeling the rhythm through your skin,

This music

Like the end of what's right and what's wrong

And the things that really matter.