Author: Steven Miller PM
A serf, noble and knight decide to rebel.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Words: 888 - Published: 04-26-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3017063
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Per1/2 History/LA Arts
A long time ago, there was a castle where all the servants were named Bob. The Bobs weren't happy there…
PRINCESS: Daddy, I want land!
KING: But you already have 50 acres.
PRINCESS: But I want 100!
KING: Just eat your food.
PRINCESS: I don't want it. I had chicken, pork, potatoes, pie, and fruit yesterday.
KING: Other people are starving though.
PRINCESS: That's their problem.
KING: Will you eat if you get more land?
PRINCESS: Yes daddy!
PRINCESS: Oh, I'll pretend to love you so!
KING: Bob! Get over here!
BOB: My lord! What is it you desire?
KING: Tell the noble to demolish another town!
BOB: Right away, sir.
BOB: Oh, mighty noble, the king requests more land!
NOBLE: What a handsome devil. Sorry, I was talking to myself.
BOB: We need land!
NOBLE: And I need a raise. Now, how will this work out?
BOB: I will discuss this with the king!
(KNIGHT runs in)
KNIGHT: The prince requests land!
BOB: The princess wants land!
NOBLE: I know how to solve this. We don't like our jobs…
KNIGHT: Well I,
NOBLE: Be quiet, you bag of dirt! You, knight, will be me.
NOBLE: Because, I'll be the prince. Serf, you will be the princess.
BOB: My name is Bob.
NOBLE: No, it's Pretty Pink Princess V.
BOB: I meant my real name.
NOBLE: Well you don't know my name, and I'm a noble.
BOB: But my name is Bob.
KNIGHT: He has a point.
NOBLE: I don't care! Now be quiet you blood-sucking demon from the underworld! Now, we'll go over the plan.
NOBLE: I've got an idea, I've got a plan
'Cause when it comes to thinking I am the man
KNIGHT: It is nice that you have one, for you and me
But what in the world can your plan be?
NOBLE: Be quiet you little devil
This plan is not your level
We must get rid of the family, starting with the brat
So we take them away-how about that?
BOB: That is all nice; the king will throw a fit
Just one problem: how do we do it?
NOBLE: We will be disguised as the kids, having the time of our lives
Then we'll get the rest before the guards can raise their knives!
We'll be eating royal foods from our plate
And by the time they realize, it will be to late
We'll throw them in the closet and lock the door with them inside
Then we'll rule the kingdom, with no reason to hide!
So, let's begin.
BOB: Oh daddy, my land is not present!
KING: Oh, Bob is fired! Bob 2!
BOB 2: Yes, my lord!
KING: Go find Bob 1!
BOB 2: Right away, master.
KING: Bob 3!
BOB 3: Yes, my lord!
KING: Bring the noble!
BOB 3: Right away, sir!
KNIGHT: Hello sir.
KING: Noble? Why are you in armor?
KNIGHT: Because I'm a noble and not a knight?
KING: Very well. Sweet Pretty Princess V wants land!
BOB: Oh yes daddy! Give me land!
KING: Noble, get land ready at once.
KNIGHT: Of course, sir.
BOB: I will come with.
NOBLE: The queen does not notice that I'm not her son! This is wonderful!
(NOBLE opens closet)
PRINCE: Stop this noble! Wait until the queen sees this!
PRINCESS: You will die when daddy sees this!
NOBLE: Your daddy will not see this!
PRINCE: I will give you a smack when I am released!
NOBLE: Be quiet, you ugly pig made by the devil himself!
PRINCE: I feel insulted. I shall cry now.
(QUEEN walks in)
QUEEN: My word! What goes on here?
NOBLE: Get more rope.
(KING walks in)
KING: What in the world?
NOBLE: Get even more rope, and a lot of it! If fat people are jolly, then this king is the jolliest person I have yet to see.
KING: Bob 4!
BOB 4: My lord?
KING: Help me! These people are crazy!
BOB 4: Sorry, my lord, but I'm with them.
KING: This is mutiny!
(NOBLE locks door)
NOBLE: Now the kingdom is mine!
KNIGHT: No, it's mine!
NOBLE: Bob, bring me more rope!
BOB: I already have enough for the two of you.
NOBLE: Bob! No!
BOB: Fine, but I have an idea…
BOB: Pretty Pink Peasant V! Get me more food!
PRINCESS: I don't want to!
NOBLE: Yes, lord.
BOB: Take this demon to the closet.
NOBLE: I'm still mad at you, you know.
BOB: Be quiet, you greedy slob! Bob 4!
BOB 4: Yes, Bob!
BOB: Take the peasant to the closet and the noble to the closet too, which makes two.
BOB 4: Of course, sir.
NOBLE: I have another plan.
PRINCESS: And what is that?
NOBLE: A second mutiny!
But this never happened because they were locked in a closet.
Bob lived happily ever after, until he died two years later and the castle was destroyed.
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