Depending on what kind of person you are, you would have many different views on the situation happening now; many people might have found four girls- sisters to be specific- annoying to hear fighting and arguing with one another, especially being in a tiny cramped car. Others might have found it amusing or laughable at such an immature argument. Others may pay no head to it or even recognize us. Any way you may choose though, for me it was perfectly normal, as well as laughable- inside of course though. Those "normal" times are when you least suspect anything- just so caught up in the moment, focused on whatever you're doing. Little does anyone know how much life can change in a matter of seconds…

It got Black then…

Two lights starred at me…

I fell asleep…

And I was awake…

And dreaming…

Dreaming life…

Someone screamed…. A large black car…. Spinning…. Dreaming? No not a dream… But it was… And it wasn't… But it had to be one… but I can't wake up… so much light and black… Blurred and focused… Shattering, screaming, crashing, praying… Everything was so confusing…What was happening? Wake UP!...

Hands… I saw my hands first, palm upwards with my head hanging from above them with the belt the only thing holding it. Glass lay in them and also blood. It was mine but not from my hands. It was black again but I could see this time. There were some light outside- street lights. Crying and silence took over the space. My legs involuntarily shook and shivered from shock. Every muscle in my body tensed and stiffened. I was still trying to grasp what happened although I already knew. I looked up again and saw hands. With gloves this time, reaching for me. Their owner speaking words I could not comprehend.

I then saw black again…. Full black….

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This time there was only white. White and blur. My head hurt. Where was I…? We were all driving home and then… Then what? We were driving home… from the store… with them, and then… black. That's all I could remember from that. The last things I saw before I passed out were the hands. Whose hands?... We crashed… the car hit us… and the screaming… That was it: we crashed. The hands were probably an EMT's or firefighters… I was in a hospital now. Why was it so hard to think?

The first thing I realized now was that it was quiet. I was alone. Where was everybody? What happened to them?

I let the time go for awhile, but after having no one come and nothing change, I grew impatient. Seeing nothing to do and no one to stop me, I left the room. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't think about it either. I just kept going. Along some time of wandering I came across a receptionist counter. Two female staff members, nursing I assumed, were conversing by it. I hesitated to ask them because I didn't know what to ask. Something told me to talk to them but another asked me what? I passed the counter, deciding to go to it as a last resort.

"…. crashed…."

There I stopped on that bit of their talk. They could have been talking about anything, but I had nothing to lose by eavesdropping so I stepped back a bit to hear some more.

"…died sometime after they came, another one 'bout a day later. The other ones are still pretty banged up. Funny though; they 'prolly got hit more than the two dead ones…" I could hear pity and disbelief in her voice, but no remorse. It was only a tragic conversation.

I left after that though. There was nothing more to hear.

I walked blindly down another hallway and ended up in an empty room. Instead of heading for the bed or chair, I made my way to a dark corner of the room and slid down against it. A thought as I hugged myself there, trying to comprehend the information I just got. "…Two dead ones…" Only one of my sisters survived. The others were dead… gone…. Now what? Did I believe it or not? I knew it was true- but I believed as well as I didn't. Time passed on by and I just sat there, trapped in my own thoughts and conflicts. I did nothing: I never cried or wept or cursed; I just sat there.

Sometime later, I fell asleep once more.

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I was on my bed. That was the first thought that came to my head the next time I woke. I was on my bed, in my room. How I got there and when I did, I cannot say. Someone must have found me in the room and brought me home. That was the only logical explanation I could come up with without me knowing. In seconds I remembered the reason for where I was before. But I was home now… mostly. What was I to do now? Weep and mourn on my sheets, or mourn with everyone else? I didn't want to be with a bunch of people. I was still sore and my head throbbed and I didn't feel liked by pitied at the moment. As much as they have reason to be now, I don't think I could stand being surrounded by a group of over-emotional people. I wanted to be alone with myself. I needed to think in peace. I wanted to lock myself in the room I shared with one of my possible deceased sisters; I made no attempt to learn who died at the moment. I was still trying to cope with the idea of loss.

My thoughts were interrupted though as my door creaked open. My mother's tear-stained face slowly came into view. Her eyes, red and swollen, landed on me though she refused to make eye contact with me. I kept away from her gaze as well. She seemed to have aged dramatically since the last I saw her not too long ago. She made her way into the room, touching all she found on the tables and drawers. Everything about her movements was made slow and weary: as if she lost all meaning if life and was savoring all the few things she had left. Her breathing was heavy and raspy, occasionally letting out wimpers between. She turned around to me but still not meeting my eye. I moved over the other side of the bed as to make room for her as she seemed she was about to collapse. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before joining me on the bed. That's when she broke down into sobs. I wanted to comfort her, to say it was alright, but how was I to do that? I couldn't do that to myself and it wasn't alright. It wasn't. I watched some time as she continued to weep. I gave in some time ago and started to cry myself. Why couldn't I have been the one to die? Why couldn't my life be taken for my sister's? Surely I would have caused much less pain if I would have been one to perish instead…

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The funeral was to take place in two days. Everybody seemed to have been keeping their distance and the silence. My mother was taken by my aunts to get her out of the house and occupy her. No one could blame her of the ill look and behavior she had fallen into lately. She hardly spoke or ate, same as I; when she did speak though, she'd end up leaving as she'd break down into another fit of hysterics. Dad hadn't been so well either; he turned to an old, grim man since the accident, refusing to talk to anyone and barely acknowledging anyone who did speak to him. He's been in and out of the house, most likely with few close friends or in the bar. I stayed in my room most of the time of as not to be in the midst of the tension.

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I stayed home on the day of the funeral.

My aunt had called me and my sister to get ready and come down few times but I had dismissed them. My mother came into my room a last time before heading back down to leave. No one forced me to come so I didn't; I didn't want to witness my sisters' burial; to leave them in their graves: a hole: the last place they'll go. I didn't want to see sorrowed people, or have them see me tear-stained.

Hours seemed like decades till they came back. I was expecting to be shouted at later by someone for missing the funeral but it didn't concern me at the moment. Cars began rolling up our drive way and people came filing in to make their condolences. I at least decided to come down quickly to see the family before coming back to lock myself in my room once more. I didn't care on what I wore when I came down. I chose to wear anything that seemed dark and dull.

It was crowded when I came downstairs. That was to be expected. The air was filled with silence and murmuring. The atmosphere was thick with grim. I walked around the room, trying my best to stay unnoticed and blend into the walls. I spotted my mother on the other side of the room next to a couple of tables, conversing with a few women. As I started for her direction, I walked past a few tables filled with small foods, another with a few photos and a card.

In memory of Marie & Ally

From that moment, time seemed to slow to a stop. The room suddenly became quiet and time didn't seem to exist. I don't know what exactly brought me to realization: whether it was seeing two of my sisters approaching my mother at the time, seeing my name on the card next to Marie's or if it was a combination of both, I'll never know.

It wasn't for another few moments till I finally uprooted from my spot. Everything in those few short minutes suddenly changed everything in and around me. I turned to see my sisters and my mother. I watched them for awhile before weakly smiling at them weakly. It's so odd to know that only seconds before I stood in their exact spots mourning for what I was, and now I was here amused and pitying.

I broke my gaze from them then headed for an exit. The crowd seemed to disappear as I walked towards the door going outside. I strode swiftly away from the house across the lawn. Any trace of sorrow or angst had completely left from me. Everything seemed so much more radiant now within the last few seconds. The grass seemed softer and greener and the gray sky seemed to even have color. I stopped at the end of the lawn and the edge of the street. I never knew what lay at the far end of this street. Countless times I've been down it, but never finished it. Now it seemed different; as i looked at it now, it seemed as a stranger to me: it was a whole new path: as if there was no end at the end. I glanced at the house a last time. I no longer belonged to here. I turned away then and stepped onto the road that seemed to go on forever.

The End