hey just look at that girl she's always smiling

would you like to add some more to that?

she's smiling like a freaking zombie.

looks like some weird sort of pervert.

smiling like a good-for-nothing idiot.

oh, wait. i forgot something. you can't blame me, can you? you forgot it too.

you're not supposed to be saying those things.

maybe just maybe you're a teacher-wait no why would you be a teacher? i must be wrong. yes that's it i'm wrong.

whatever helps you sleep at night.

look at that g.i.r.l pretending to p~r~e~t~e~n~d

clinging to her phases (her new o.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n.s- what is it

n-o-w? psychology? atheism? hyperactivity? dystopian fiction?), leaning

on them, hoping that it helps her s^t^a^n^d.

(l-i-s-t-e-n, dearie, you're going to fall)

that girl is me.

but you knew that anyway.

to all those nights of desperation and crying into pillows.

they say it's pushing, making you a better person.

it's tough love, they say. of course it hurts.

i say fuck.

look at that girl b#l#u#n#d#e#r#i#n#g a.r.o.u.n.d she

doesn't know what to do you so you t.e.l.l her to do

what you want her to do.

it's cruel, taking advantage of her confusion like that.

but you knew that.

look at that girl she l.o.o.k.s a bit l-o-s-t.

she looks a bit desperate she looks a little h~o~p~e~l'e's's

(she doesn't need your condescending humour.)

i was reading hold still by nina lacour.

there was something in there about being eleven being hard.

made my year.

goodbye 2011.

my troubles aren't gone.

but you are.

you can just tell i'm holding in a smirk.

and a smile.