In the classroom, children shriek

Irritated, I might think

Kill them all

Divide them like a fruit.

In the classroom, you sit tight

Arms are weak, your knuckles white,

Fingers clutching tightly

On your brand new leather suit.

Sorry chump, this Jacket's mine.

It is quite cold outside.

Yo man sup! Just give it up.

This suit suits me quite fine.

Thought you're cool for oh so long

But then you crossed the line.

Thought not I'd make you a song

This jacket is now mine.

In the bathroom, you are loud

Knuckles tight, a shriek in fright,

Sounds you're having troubles,

But your problems are not mine.

In your bedroom, I am looting.

Stealing goods while you're polluting

Subterranean lands, meanwhile

This suit suits me quite fine.

Suddenly, I hear a flush

It's time for me to dash

Take a few bucks with me

And I'm gone within a flash

Thought your house was locked, well friend,

Your mom took out the trash

Now she's gone and you'll soon find

You don't have any cash.

In the food court, I am lurking

Staring down the snacks; I'm smirking.

Just might swipe a few, my friend

These foodstuffs look so fine.

Sneak a few, consume a few.

A loaf of bread, a bowl of stew.

Pirates nightly want a meal

Of kings on which to dine.

Suddenly I hear a scream.

The chef knows of my plot.

Time to finish eating,

And I exit with a trot.

Wish that I could tell him that

I liked his food a lot.

Hope I might come back some day

That really hit the spot!

At your house, my heart is beating

Have this mushy-gushy feeling.

Your room smells so good, it makes me

Feel that I'm alive.

Sadly I'm not here for games.

We like each other, what a shame!

I would stay if I was not right here

Burglarizing your house.

Taking clothes, I'm taking chairs.

I'm taking TVs, books, and pairs

Of socks and beds, pillows, bedspreads,

And sheets, blankets, and cats!

Then I vault at sonic speeds

Your things I packed I am indeed

The greatest man alive my greed

Is lovely I'm awl that.

Lastly, I am in the ocean

Looking up at the commotion

Sky is spinning, world is twisting

Judgment Day has come.

Giant fishmen roam the sky

Tell me that my end is nigh

Thievery is wrong they say,

I take a swig of rum.

I'M A PIRATE, I DON'T CARE

TRY TO KILL ME IF YOU DARE

I HAVE IRON WILL

AND A THICK SPINE.

Thought I was cool for so long,

But then I crossed the line.

Thought not I'd die in my song.

My legend is sublime.