"Endure" or "How to Conquer Fear"

AN

-I came up with this, right this very night. The night that I am posting this. It is NOT for art; I was simply in the mood to write. That is all, for now.

EDIT

-To tell you guys the truth, this poem is actually about me. I guess I was just stupid to think that if I posted this, that no one would think it wasn't about me, because someone did. This is about me, how I feel about my writing, and pretty much everything else in my life. I used to give up all the time. Now, even if I think I'm going to fail, I still try, anyways. But it goes further than that. Not only do I try my hardest, I do things now that most others would be afraid to do. Now, I'm the first for everything. I look back on how things would be different, if I didn't do things the way I do... They'd be ALOT different. My suggestions also affect others, besides myself, after all. I have to tell you, this is not some emo poem about how my life used to suck, (well, maybe it is) but now it's also about how I've never been happier than I have ever been in my entire life. If you had the chance of meeting me before this very year, I probably would've been too scared to even talk to you, let alone suggest anything more... The "tests" I speak of putting myself through are just that; speaking up about things that even normal ppl would be afraid to say... I do it on purpose. And if you have ever had anything to say, yourself, but were to afraid to say it; just say it. Chances are you'll be happier that you have. (I know I am.) I get scared to say things, a lot. I know it doesn't seem like I would be, but I am like that. But, when it's over, I am ALWAYS happier that I did. And there are other ppl I know that are slightly better off for me choosing to speak up, than if I had not. (I won't give any examples. It's bad to give examples of REAL ppl...) I know from trying and WINNING that I can win. Its never a guarantee, but its damn well possible. I guess it's good that I posted this, anyways. Someone else might read it, and actually get something out of it. I didn't do anything else with the poem, except get rid of a few typos. I won't do anything else, because I wish it to remain in the form of how I felt that night. I wish it to remain untouched, to show my raw emotions.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I've been through worse before.

I won't give up now.

I'll take this challenge,

just like all the others.

I've pushed myself hard.

I've given myself so many tests, just

to know how

much I'm worth.

(God knows life's given me plenty,

but I give myself tests, too.)

These bruises will become

calluses, and each time

I bleed, it tends to get

that much easier.

(At least, I hope it will,

just so I can get used to it.

To tell the truth, I already

think I have.)

And I've come so far; too

far to give up now.

I've done so much; look

at all I've done.

I used to be the last one,

or not at all. I let Fear

run my life, because I

was afraid to fall.

But now I've done so

much, its hard to see

just how bad off I

used to be.

People see me smilin'

and laughin' to myself.

I even get asked,

"How are you so happy, now?"

It's because I push myself,

even if I think I'll fail,

because there's always

a chance I'll win.

(Even if that chance is small.)

And in the end, if I fall,

I'll just get back up again,

because I know I can't let this fail

ruin my chances for a win.

I just have to accept

I'm human.

Have to accept

failure is an option.

(Although, I'll try my hardest.)

And I've come so far; too

far to give up now.

I've done so much; look

at all I've done.

Now, I'm always the first

to say what's on their mind.

Now, I'm the one people admire,

instead of pitying.

(And God, I do hate pity.)

Now, I'm someone who people meet;

who people can't possibly think,

Thinks they have any faults.

(I know I seem like that, but really, I'm just like you-

Except...)

I've come too far to

give up, now, and I've gone

through too much; too many

tests, to not take just one more.

And I know that even if I fail,

I'll just try again.

As long as there's even the smallest

chance I'll win.

And even if I don't win,

I'll just except I'm human.

I used to let Fear run my life,

but now I run my life, instead.

And I know I'll aways Fear,

but I'll always try to win.

And I know I'll always Fear,

but I'll just get back up again.

And I know I'll always Fear,

but I will always Endure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I know I probably shouldn't have ever posted this poem, but then again, I know in the future I plan on writing something VERY similar to this. When I become a real writer. And I know I want to be a REAL writer, anyways, so why keep fighting myself? In the end, I'm half of whoever holds me back... I want to STOP doing that. Eventually, I WILL. So, I knew that I would write something like this, eventually, anyways. (The other half, btw, is usually seeing others who want to give up. I want to give up, too when I see them give up, but I also want to tell them to not give up, either. Ppl who are so elitist they simply cannot see how good they truly are, also makes me sad. I want to tell them to focus on the positive in themselves and what they do, and I want to tell them to not give up, too. Most of all, I try to accept that I can't possibly help EVERYBODY, and to just accept that I should be happy with those I CAN help. ...Besides, I've helped myself. I guess, I didn't really say that in the poem, but I wanted to say that, TODAY. I see them ALL THE TIME!) I think I may or may not put something about this in my profile, one day soon. May as well. :)

Probably shouldn't have put down any of THAT, either, but then, I should stop caring what YOU think. (And, like I said. I NEED to stop feeling embarrased about this crap NOW, b/c I WILL write about... More more seriously... In. The. Future. When I am a webcomic author.)

I, myself, am not as bad off as I used to be. I am FAR better off, now. I DO NOT NEED CONSOLING! Nor do I want it. :( (But thank you, if you were going to.) Remember that.

So, whatcha guys think? (About the poem, not me. Oh, wait; they're the same thing! XD)

P.S.-If you are ever afraid to say something to MYSELF, b/c you are afraid I will be OFFENDED-Just freakin' say it! I'm the type of person who can't be offended by ANYTHING. i.e. Erotic/gross jokes, story ideas that SOUND offensive, creepy things. (There; I gave an example to something. Happy? :) )

Thanks to True Talker 4 choosing to say something.

Yeah, I talk too much. Thanks 4 listening. (And don't worry-This'll be the last time I edit this thing!)