Author: YFIQ PM
Collection of short stories about school.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,775 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 05-19-13 - Published: 05-17-12 - id: 3023311
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One day at school, a sports writer was attending class as a guest invited by the principal because he used to attend the school as a kid. The principal wanted to show the kids the success they can have if they can study hard and work diligently so one day, they can have great jobs as well. Little do the principal knows, the sports writer is also a columnist for ESPN which isn't the ideal person to invite to school as he would learn the reason why.
As the class was ready to have a math test, the sports writer said, "You know what? I can help serve as an example to the kids by taking the same test myself!"
The teacher wasn't sure but the principal smiled and said, "Sure, go on ahead, Miss Sullivan, can you get a copy of a test sheet?"
"Are you sure about this?" the teacher said.
"Miss Sullivan, this is important, the kids need to know how good grades can hel-"
"Alright, alright, sheesh!"
Few minutes later, Miss Sullivan returns from the office with a copy of a test paper and hands it over to the sports writer. The sports writer walks to the teacher's desk and begins to start answering questions on the math test. Once it was over, one by one, each student hands over the test sheet and Miss Sullivan starts to collect them when she notice the sports writer still working on his math problems.
"Sir, time is up, hand over the test sheet!" she said sternly.
The sports writer said, "Just a second...there, okay here you go, all done!"
"Thank you!" she said.
As the lunch period passed through like a ghost gliding through the wall, some of the staff members were spooked by the sight as they believe that the school building have been haunted by a student who committed suicide because of her unacquainted love of a teacher who left soon after the incident, the class resumes as the students returns to their respective desks. As minutes goes by, each student receives the graded test paper and either a sigh of relief or a disappointed groan can be heard throughout the entire classroom.
Once it was done, the teacher hands the test sheet over to the sports writer and said, "Care to explain this?"
The sports writer looks down on his test sheet...
"Really? I thought it would be a bit higher, oh well!" he said.
"Oh really? Then explain how you managed to get several simple math problems wrong? You should have learn this in fourth grade you know, how can you get the fractions wrong? It doesn't take a genius to know that 4 is divided by 2!" said Miss Sullivan.
The sports writer smiles and said, "To get them all right will be against my principle."
"Allow me to explain, every sports writers have their own principles and in my case, I have a important principle I must follow."
One of the student asked, "Is it required?"
The sports writer said, "No, the principle is something we all come up with so it's easier to follow and with that, it makes us more important than the rest of the country except for the President and maybe ESPN!"
Then he continues, "As a sports writer, I have a very important responsibility in which I get to vote for the players to the Hall of Fame and as you know, the players needs enough vote required for enshrinement. However, we sports writers tends to have differing views on certain players and sometimes disagree on how the players should be voted in."
The entire class looks on in silence until someone said, "What?"
The sports writer took a deep breath and exhale before saying, "I thought I made myself clear, I'll say it again in a way in which you ants would understand. What happen is that last weekend when the votes were counted, I was one of the voters who didn't choose players like Michael Strahan despite being among the 'no-brainer' pick, the reason is that according to my self-imposed principle, no player should be on first ballot...I know some got through but you can't snub them all, but with Strahan having to wait another year, my mission is a success, hahahahaha!"
"So that's the reason why you failed the math test, all because you believe that nothing should be unaminous and no obvious choice should be chosen?" Miss Sullivan asked.
"That's right!" answered the sports writer.
The principal who have been hearing the conversation the whole time just when he was about to tell the sports writer about leaving his car lights on was shocked. Is this the person he invited to school to serve as a positive example to the students? To come up with a half-assed and self-imposed "principle" in order to excuse every mistakes that were made? Hey, at least now everyone knows the reason why the Hall of Fame voting became a quite a mess due to questionable choices...
"Did I hear you correctly?" the principal asked.
"Why yes, you heard me correctly, I failed the test because I don't think everything should be done right even if it's obvious enough to get it right, I apply this to many of the things I do aside from the test and the Hall of Fame voting." the sports writer chuckled.
Horrified, the principal could only think for a moment, "What have I done? I can't believe I miss this? How can I not know that he's a imperfectionist jackass?"
After spending few minutes to regain his composure, the principal said, "Sir, you have done enough as it is so please leave this school."
The sports writer huffed and said, "Why should I? I like it here, after all this is the place where I got my start so I can tell it like it is, in the end you have to get some things wrong in order to succeed."
"If you don't leave, I will call the security!" the principal yelled.
The sports writer laughed and said, "Call the security? Really? Do you even realize who I am? I'm-" as a fist made contact to his face, sending him flying ten meters to the wall. The principal holds his right hand and said, "As I said before, you better leave this place and I'm giving you one last chance. If you're going to keep spewing out bullshit, I will make sure you won't speak again!" with a death glare on his eyes.
The sports writer wiped his nose and said, "My, my, my, well done, but until we meet again..." before walking out of the classroom. Since then, the principal made sure to spot check every information of a person he would invite in order to make sure the incident won't ever happen again. More importantly, after seeing what would happen if the principal becomes angry, the students decided that pissing him off isn't going to be a good idea and out of fear, they began to study harder. The word spread throughout the school and not long after, the school's grade average would rise from C to B+. Granted, B+ isn't the best grade but in the end, it's still better than what it was before and it was all thanks to a missed background check by the principal when he decided to invite a sports writer with a fucked up principle.