|Expectancy Is Bleak
Author: Aristaeus PM
Bella wants to hate Beck, but she can't, and he's holding her back from being everything and more.Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,540 - Updated: 06-02-12 - Published: 05-20-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3024089
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The nightclub throbbed with a familiar beat as the band bashed the drums and strummed the guitars to a familiar 90's tune. I stretched out on the couch, and flexed my feet, taking a sip of my Virgin Mary. As I looked all around me, I saw the people I knew, and some I didn't. Leon and Grazier were attached at the mouth against the wall, Dane and Seth were drinking at a table and Clarissa was gyrating against someone I couldn't even recognize under the purple dance lights. I sighed, looking at all my friends so happy here tonight. I wondered about Beck, and where was he at this hour? He had turned my offer to come tonight, down, so that he could spend it alone. I knew there was someone else in his life; it was his reason for always letting the phone ring, and the messages left un-responded. Somehow, he managed to move on from what we had. I was still stuck in a lonely single life. I hoped he was happy.
I downed the last of my drink, half angry, half upset. Didn't I deserve happiness too? Beck was nothing special, and I frowned in scorn at the thought of him happy with someone else. I picked a cherry out of a bowl on the table and popped it into my mouth, pulling the seed out by the stem and tossing, and hitting the garbage can in the corner. I was the only woman who had loved Beck long enough to really know him. Any other girl left after a month. But here I was three years later, still only a doll or someone he could use. I felt pathetic.
I stood from the lounge, in hopes of getting onto the dance floor with a few of my girls, that was, if I could find them. As I stood, I wobbled slightly on my platforms, an unusual choice of shoes for me, but they complimented my legs. I straightened out, but still, the ground swayed a little. So I'd had a little too much to drink. Who cared? I was legal.
I weaved my way through the vibrating, buzzing, half-drunk bodies of people dancing, some not even close to something you could call "dancing". At the bar, I asked for a glass of water to dull the spinning walls and floor. Good thing water was free; I could only hear change rattling in my pocket. I would have to walk home, taxis cost too much and busses didn't run this late. Brilliant.
After drinking four full glasses of water, I noticed Heather out of the corner of my eye, and headed for her.
"Heather!" I shouted over the music, and she turned to face me, her black hair spilling brilliantly across her exposed neckline.
"Oh hey Bella! We were just going to see where you were." Yeah right. I didn't believe that. She stood in a group with three other girls who looked just like her, and a tall man who caught my attention.
"Bella," She said, taking my attention from the man before me who smiled awkwardly then looked over his shoulder. "This is Jazzy, Carmen, Johnny and Jade." She pointed to each of the people around her as she introduced them to me, but only cared about Johnny. The rest didn't matter.
"Hi," I said, blushing in the red washout light penetrating my face. They all gave their subtle "yeah" and half-waved. This was the life of the night, I could tell. Johnny smiled to me and I smiled back, but only to him. I wonder which of the girls here, he was with.
Dane came up behind me, and slapped me on the back, his brown hair almost completely shrouded his eyes but I saw those brown eyes smile around the group.
"How are we this evening ladies and Johnno?" Dane extended his hand to Johnny and he leaned in.
"Hey Dane, how you been man?" Johnny smiled, and stepped out of the group. I decided to tag along with them, seeing as these girls definitely were no help to my bummed out mood.
And thinking about my current mood made me feel crestfallen as I remembered why I was so bummed out. Beck. Again, I caught myself thinking about him, what a wreck. I scowled as I followed Dane and Johnny out of the club to sit outside in a round garden, fenced off to keep up us in the back of the club. Dane and Johnny plonked themselves down on the garden chairs facing one another, and Dane cracked open a Cruiser and leaned back, satisfied.
"How you been, man?" He asked Johnny sipping his alcohol. Johnny shifted in his seat, well aware I was right there beside them both. His jacket was thick and had a cotton chest, with leather sleeves. It looked warm, not to mention it was stylish.
Johnny cleared his throat, "Had a run in with the police last week. They thought I was carrying something 'cause I was on the street early morning hours. It was all good after I cleared my pockets. Sick of them pulling me up though. It's like I am some sort of crim." I raised my eyebrows, and I noticed him shoot me a quick glare, and shift again awkwardly. I felt unwelcome, but I didn't care. I was staying right here.
Dane laughed. "Yeah, that's the blue for you."
Johnny nodded and pushed his blonde hair off of his face.
We talked for a little more, and even I threw in a few comments about things I knew about. Johnny started to warm up to me more, and before the end of it, we were both laughing at each other's antics. I would find him looking at me, as I now shifted in my own seat. Dane stood up, surprising us both.
"Well kids, I've gotta go back inside, I'm picking up Natasha tonight and taking her home, but I'll leave you both to it." I leaned back in my seat, swallowing. I didn't want to be left alone with Johnny. I barely knew him. Or what he was capable of. It was hard to find someone taller than me, and he certainly was. He had a fair amount of muscle on his arm too, and I found myself looking in worry as he cleared his throat and tried to relax.
"So, you come here often?" He looked at me briefly, then outward, to the gate fence.
"Yeah," I reply folding my legs. "Almost every weekend. I don't get very drunk though." I lied. Johnny nodded.
"Me neither. I'm completely sober tonight, believe it or not." He smiled, pride showed on his baby like features. His teeth were still crooked from being a kid.
"Tell me, Johnny, how old are you?" I asked, curious. I was definitely into the older men, and this guy looked old enough to be my... Well nothing really. Maybe brother.
"Twenty-four. You?" He looked at me now, as we both started easing up.
"Twenty." I smile and nod, so does he.
"Ah, such a baby." He didn't mean it badly, but tipsy, tired me, took it that way.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I glared.
"Nothing, you're just young, that's all."
"And you're not?"
"Hey, I never said I wasn't." He smiled now sliding closer to me.
"I believe you're still a kid until you're old enough to have your own. And I'm not." He commented, laughing at his own pun. He poked me in the ribs with his finger.
"Hey!" I giggled a little. I was quickly starting to like this guy. He was open, friendly and tall. So far he ticked a lot of my 'must have' boxes. Only there was still one issue. Beck.
I laughed in his grip as Johnny held me close.
"You're tiny." He commented, "So feminine and beautiful. My hands are almost twice the size of yours." He stretched his open palm against mine, and I noticed his fingers were twice the size of mine. I WAS tiny compared to him! I had never been tiny to anyone.
"Wow," I say, awestruck. No one had really called me beautiful recently. Not even Beck. To Beck I was a toy he wanted to get with, and nothing more. He was using me, had used me and prepared to use me. It was true; I wasn't just another girl to him. I was a play thing, and I was useless when I wasn't needed. But I could see as Johnny looked at me, that even though we met tonight, I meant more to him now than what I ever had to Beck. This made my heart ache, and I pressed my face to Johnny's chest, hearing his heartbeat as I thought about my heartbreak about Beck. Sure, I loved him, but the feeling most certainly wasn't mutual. We were friends. Friends with benefits, and I meant absolutely nothing to him. I wasn't even worth a simple phone call or a "how are you?"
"How are you getting home?" Johnny asked, peering down at me, wrapped and warm inside his jacket. I looked up at his hazel eyes and rubbed my own.
"Oh, I've gotta walk. I should go." Johnny grabbed my hand as I stood.
"Wait, I can give you a lift. If you want, I mean." He said eyes boring into mine.
I stared at him for a moment, wondering if he really meant it.
"Really?" I asked, finally not finding anything in his face. What did this guy want from me? I wasn't going to let him inside, I was too tipsy, and we had just met. I didn't want to be taken back to his house particularly either. Did "A lift" really mean "to your house, then I'll go to mine"? Or did it mean, "Then we can sleep together"? I gulped.
"Yeah really. I have my bike out the front." I smiled at that. I loved fast cars, but motorbikes were an even bigger turn on than flash cars.
Beck didn't own a motorbike. He didn't own a flash car. He actually didn't even own a car! Sure he had his hot as tattoos and the alluring piercings, but a motorbike? Well that was another pointer on my list, even if Johnny didn't have tattoos and piercings. Beck didn't look tough with all those piercings. He still looked like the guy I had first fallen for. He didn't look harsh to anyone really. He was a soft marshmallow with an ice coated heart. Beck was two years older than me, and Johnny was three and a bit. I wondered about Beck, and would that make his stomach churn? Would he silently kick himself if he saw me, his "play thing" riding on the back of a motorbike with hot Johnny, a year older than Beck, without him? Would he see how happy I was, and see that Johnny treated me like a human? Probably not. You can't see that much when someone zips past on a bike. But wow, the idea thrilled me. Or maybe I was too drunk.
I wondered if seeing me happy would open his feelings. Would he want be back? Well too bad. Maybe. Johnno seemed really into me, and there was no denying he seemed like a good guy. A little annoying, but still awesome. And if he wasn't? Then I'd find someone special, I guess.
"Thanks, I'd love a lift home." I said, biting my lip. Johnny smiled.
"Sure thing gorgeous." I blushed again as he took my hand and quietly lead me back through the club and into the front parking lot.
When we got outside, we could still hear the music loud and clear, though it eased a lot. Cars and bikes filled the lot, and I hoped he owned a Harley. They were my favourite, and I'd always wanted one. The cool night bit at my arms, and I shivered once.
"My jacket." Johnny said, taking it off and giving it to me. I looked at him surprised. No one had ever bothered to give me their jacket when I was cold. Beck most certainly didn't and his jacket was so similar to this one. I could smell Johnny's cologne on the jacket and it was strongly hypnotising. He had a white shirt on that looked well with his tan body. I smiled at the thought of how lucky I was.
He walked me to his bike, and sure enough it was a crimson red Harley Davidson. I gasped at how beautiful it was. I wonder if it flew through the night as beautifully as the way it looked, shiny and gleaming in the parking lot lights. Johnny got on first and then lifted me with ease onto the back, behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled as I heard my name being called from the entrance of the club.
I turned my head as Johnny kicked the bike to life, and it roared.
In the light, by the door of the club I stood a figure that started to run toward us.
"Heather?" I tried yelling over the roar of the bike; only Johnny revved it and muted my call. Johnny backed the bike out of the park quickly and I peered into the light as the figure kept coming.
"Bella!" The voice called again, only I knew it wasn't Heather. She couldn't run that fast. I barely heard the voice, but I knew it was a familiar one. Johnny heaved the bike to life, and my breath was taken as I was shocked by his sudden lead foot. I didn't expect him to take off so quickly. He suddenly pulled up alongside the figure trying to reach us before we left.
"Bella, what're you doing with this guy?" The man standing before me panted, his chest heaving from running. His black hair shone elegantly in the parking lot lights.
"Beck?" I whispered totally shocked to see him here.
"Back off, dude. She's with me." Johnny put his foot back to the pedal, and we flew off into the night.