|No Card Or Visit
Author: Ciousk PM
Raven was ill, so ill he was in hospital. And his father didn't send him a card or go and see him. Happy ending. K RavenRated: Fiction K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,261 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 06-15-12 - Published: 05-29-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3027006
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Heyy Guys! I have my story back and I am going to tell you what my teacher said! She also corrected some of my grammer mistakes, so yeah, I wasn't perfect.
An imaginative use of the change in narrative perspective.
An interesting story and good use of varied punctuation.
Target: Focus on varying the way you start your sentences. Avoid using the same words.
Also, if i makes any sense to you, I got a gold reward and a 6a... That's pretty good BTW.