1.6.12.

Really i'm only human
I can't pretend to be perfect all the time.
it gets exhausting, my bones ache
my eyes itch.

When you're not looking
i feel like i'm rotting
inside and out and the
smell makes me sick.

I get tired of saying
"i'm fine."
and you replying
"okay."

Is it?
Because it doesn't feel okay
not anymore
I don't remember if i ever did.

I can't keep pretending
that everything will get better
when i know
that it won't because i
won't even notice when it does.

When you're not looking
if feel so angry
at everything and everyone
it makes me shake inside and out.

&& when you smile
it cracks me down the middle
you're so perfect in my imperfect eyes
you're the only thing i have left.

I'm only human
but i feel like a monster
made of rage and jealousy
something even you
cannot fix.