Author: heidingaway PM
Stream of consciousness. At the end of a galactic war, a soldier reflect on killing his love one who fought on the losing side.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 522 - Published: 06-03-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3028868
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The universe is constantly expanding. The universe was taking us apart. I took one last look at you and I wish at that moment the universe would expand so wide that if I flew ten thousand light years I would never see you again.
If that simple wish would have been granted, I would not have been to kill you. It was so easy too. One order, one button, one shot.
But you get to be dead. You had the easy end of this bargain. I have to live with it. All of it.
Can you see me?
Did you know you are insignificant?
Billions of people died. Can you imagine even what one million looks like? Squinted hard, I can't see one in a billion.
And even if I looked for a hundred thousand light years, I would never be able to find all one billion pieces I blew your body into. With one shot. I dissolved you to mist with one shot.
Where are you… all of you?
Is it weird that I imagine bits of you scattered all over? Scattered through universe, resting on my consciousness. I may walk around saying, "There you are. There you are again. There you are again."
Can you see me… everywhere you are?
Did you know the war is over?
You must know, everybody knows. Not everybody is happy, but everybody knows.
My side won, you must know that too.
I wanted you to know that I won for once. You always beat me at everything. I wanted you to know how stupid I feel for saying that. There is a price for everything. I've been bankrupt by this damn competition between. You must also know how silly it was that I had to blow you to smithereens because a bunch of adults couldn't figure out their own damn problems.
That's why not everybody is happy, but you can't make everybody happy. Can you?
Are you happier dead?
You are the lucky one. You get to be dead. The universe is broken in every sense. I think you must know that too.
Winning isn't enough for them, you must know. Humiliation. That's they want the losers to feel.
Did you know you are insignificant to them?
We were young, but they are old. They were so busy leaving their legacies that they forgot we never even started one. They were old and they were selfish and all they wanted was to leave a mark on the world. They forgot that the only mark you can leave is with the billions of piece of you that's settled on everything. They were old and they were willing for the young to sacrifice for them. They were old and they ordered me to press one small button. You were young and I did. It didn't matter how young you were, did it? All it matter was how easy it was to blow you into a billion pieces.
It doesn't matter at all. Nothing matters.
Except you are young and dead, and they are old and alive.