|Captain Rusty and the Voyage to Orange Falls
Author: Julius D'Orange PM
A short story of one captain's voyage in finding new land and treasure, but all is not that simple. It's a nautical tale of adventure, friends and war...with carrot cake!Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Words: 1,987 - Published: 06-10-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3031007
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
CAPTAIN RUSTY & THE VOYAGE TO ORANGE FALLS
The year was 1807 and Captain Rusty and his two-member crew of Jacques and Dander were to set sail to find a new land with treasure. But, he wouldn't be alone on the seas during his journey. His old rival Sailor Jenkins decided to set sail with two members of his own family, Farmer Jenkins and entertainer, Cannonball Jenkins, the very same day Captain Rusty did. The two had a vicious rivalry spanning over sixty years. They would do whatever it took to be the first one to get a piece of a lost treasure or even first in discovering something new out at sea. Yes, it was a fierce rivalry at that, usually ending up with a chaotic ending.
At the dock, Captain Rusty boarded his ship and noticed Sailor Jenkins board his own ship, ready to set sail. So, right before they departed, Captain Rusty went over and scratched Sailor Jenkins' haul with his trusty hook for a hand! Sailor Jenkins, unaware, never found out! Moments later, they set sail and began sailing to new lands for new treasure. Five minutes after some sailing, Sailor Jenkins noticed his boat had sprung a leak!
Sailor Jenkins had Farmer Jenkins and Cannonball Jenkins go down to the part of the ship that was leaking and wanted them to fix it. Sadly, they never resurfaced after a long period of time! Worried, Sailor Jenkins decided to go down there himself. In the dark, and now wet, interior of his ship, Sail Jenkins looked around for his crew members.
Suddenly, Farmer Jenkins and Cannonball Jenkins jumped out and scared Sailor Jenkins!
Sailor Jenkins jumped, only to find out it was his own members trying to sneak up on him!
"I told you nothing good would come from family folk and their crazy schemes!" Sailor Jenkins told himself, walking away in annoyed fashion.
The water rose higher and higher, almost threatening to sink the ship! Sailor Jenkins walked through the water that leaked through, hoping to find the source for it before it got worse.
He came upon cracks in the haul where water leaked through. He traced them to a place where it ended. There he saw a poorly carved phrase in the wood that said:
"Ha-ha, I just scratched your boat, you schmuck!"
Sailor Jenkins grew angry as he read the part after that said, "Love, Ole' Rusty!"
Before continuing on with the sailing trip, Sailor Jenkins patched up the leak so no water could leak through. Back in the open, Captain Rusty had already been far ahead. Miles away, he could see with his telescope that there was land!
"We shall send fear into the hearts of enemies we meet there!" he shouted.
The captain also noticed there was no sign of Jenkins and just shouted, "ITS ALL OURS!"
The crew cheered and so they sailed towards the land.
Little did they know, Sailor Jenkins would be coming up to them sooner than they had thought. Back at his ship, Sailor Jenkins had attached a motor to push the boat faster!
"Ha-ha, who's the schmuck now?" Sailor Jenkins shouted.
Sadly though, a Kraken suddenly ran into it and broke it! Sailor Jenkins cursed out the Kraken! In response, the Kraken ended up hitting the ship before launching it with his tentacles of doom!
Somehow though, the ship was still intact as landed back on the water below to continue sailing. Where were they? Sailor Jenkins could wonder no more. They were right by Captain Rusty and his crew! Captain Rusty noticed this and started yelling a variety of questions in wonderment as to how they caught up so fast! The crew itself was in awe.
Back at the other ship, Sailor Jenkins saw the same land as well and blasted a note in a bottle via cannon to the other ship. Captain Rusty saw a bottle land next to him, so he picked it up and read it,
"You wrecked my ship!"
Another bottle came after.
"I told you nothing good would come from sailing folk and their fancy hooks for hands!"
Captain Rusty glared, crumbling up the papers in his hands.
He grew angrier at him and grew even more so when Sailor Jenkins was right next to him.
"I'm gonna take this land and claim it for my own, you schmuck!" Sailor Jenkins shouted.
Captain Rusty had enough. The two started arguing as their ships got closer and closer to the land. In the midst of the arguing, a carrot cake hit Jacques!
The captain saw this and immediately glared at the ship beside his.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Captain Rusty shouted.
"How dare I?" Sailor Jenkins asked back, "How dare you, you schmuck!"
After that, a piece of carrot cake hit Dander!
Captain Rusty, angered, shouted "ONE MORE TIME, JUST ONE M-"
A piece suddenly hit the wheel of his ship!
Captain Rusty felt his anger build up more and more as he began to once again despise the man he despised nearly his whole entire life.
"JUST ONE MORE TIME A-"
And, another piece hit and knocked off Captain Rusty's sailing hat!
In response, Captain Rusty shouted, "THIS IS MY LAND YOU HEAR M-"
Suddenly, another piece hit the ship!
Sailor Jenkins laughed as he watched on. He took great joy in his rival's anger.
Captain Rusty had enough, "THAT'S IT! IT'S TIME FOR WAR!"
And so it happened. Both sides started to grab carrot cake from the decks below and began to load up carrot cake in the cannons to fire!
Captain Rusty watched as his men prepared for battle.
"CREW! HOWL A WAR HOWL WITH ME!" Captain Rusty shouted, "AHOOOOOOOOO!" "AHHHHHH!" Jacques added.
Dander just said, "Leedle, leedle, leedle, leeeee!"
They continued to howl again and again, but after a fourth time, a piece of carrot cake hit Dander!
The two continued their battle, launching carrot cakes. Carrot pieces and frosting covered the ships as both sides launched piece after piece. As land neared, Sailor Jenkins decided to end it. He put Cannonball Jenkins into a cannon and fired him at the captain! However, Captain Rusty moved out of the way and Cannonball Jenkins crashed into a tree that rested on shore nearby!
Angered, Cannonball Jenkins waved his fist in the air and shouted, "I told you nothing good would come from sailing folk and their fighting machines!"
In retaliation, Farmer Jenkins then threw a pitchfork which just hit the side of the ship.
The battle continued but it was no ordinary one now. This time, Captain Rusty and Sailor Jenkins decided to bring out bigger weapons.
"Bring out the carrot cakes!" Captain Rusty shouted.
His crew of Dander and Jacques decided to bring out full cakes, not pieces! Sailor Jenkins noticed and did the same, bringing out cake of his own to fire!
The two captains prepared to launch their cakes as the ships entered a river. Both sides stuffed cakes into their cannons so as to fire them at their enemy.
"Give up now, you schmuck!" Captain Rusty shouted.
"Never!" Sailor Jenkins shouted back, "Prepare to meet a frosty doom!"
"Fine! On the count of three!" Captain Rusty shouted, "One…two-"
Suddenly, Dander interrupted the count!
The captain glared at him with a seaworthy glare.
"What?" he shouted.
"Do we fire on three or after three?" Dander asked.
Captain Rusty didn't look amused.
"JUST FIRE!" he shouted.
On his command, Captain Rusty's side began to fire carrot cake at Sailor Jenkins' ship!
An epic battle of slow motion and frosty chaos ensued. Cakes flew out of each and every cannon, hoping to find their mark! Pieces that flew out of the cannons hit crew members of both sides, getting all over their clothes and faces. The ships even suffered damage, carrot cake covering the decks, masts and hauls. As for the captains, they dodged the cakes coming at them at full speed as they commanded their crew to do their best.
The epic battle continued up a nearby river which quickly led to a dangerous waterfall! The battle stopped as both crews looked to see what came straight ahead.
"Only one shall make it!" Captain Rusty shouted.
He put on his good hook for his hand as well as a metal peg leg and jacket with tons of medals. Sailor Jenkins just adjusted his sailing hat, meaning it was about to get serious!
The two captains then loaded up cannons near them with carrot cake.
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FROSTY!" Captain Rusty shouted.
Sailor Jenkins and Captain Rusty began firing the cakes. The first couple of shots missed their mark. However, the next one from Captain Rusty came right at Sailor Jenkins!
Sailor Jenkins prepared himself for impact when suddenly Farmer Jenkins sacrificed himself! He leapt into the air, shouting "No!" in slow motion as he took the shots of carrot cake for his captain and hit the deck hard! Captain Rusty was in shock.
"Farmer Jenkins, no!" Sailor Jenkins shouted.
Sailor Jenkins looked down at his fallen mate and saluted him.
Sailor Jenkins glared back at Rusty's ship as the waterfall grew closer! He took advantage of Captain Rusty's shocked status and fired multiple carrot cakes at the other captain! The crew of Rusty watched in horror as tons of carrot cake pieces nailed Captain Rusty one by one! The captain could not dodge the attack as Sailor Jenkins fired viciously at his rival!
"I told you nothing good would come from old captains and their lust for gold!" Sailor Jenkins shouted as he fired.
Before everyone knew it, Captain Rusty fell overboard and into the waterfall!
The crew looked on in shock and horror as they stood there, not knowing what was going on around them. Sailor Jenkins laughed as he had won the battle against his rival.
"Ha-ha, take that, you schmuck!" Sailor Jenkins shouted.
Sailor Jenkins laughed more and more, only taking a break to cough. All seemed well for Sailor Jenkins until he saw what was in front of him!
"Noooo!" he shouted.
His ship crashed into the waterfall…along with Captain Rusty's!
Everything then grew quiet as planks of the two ships floated along the river while some ending up on the river banks. Everyone looked to have perished as the mighty falls destroyed both ships. All seemed lost. But, out of the thundering falls came a rusty hook that attached itself onto a floating plank! It floated over to shore and out from the water emerged Captain Rusty!
The captain looked up at the falls which were orange in color due to the tons of carrot cake on the ships and what not. Even the river was shades of orange. He then walked over to the area where the river met the sea, and looked back.
"This Place shall be called...Orange Falls!" he shouted.
A lone, hardy laugh followed as he was the last man standing on his voyage to Orange Falls.
A century and some years later, Captain Rusty, old and gray, stayed in the now prosperous city of Orange Falls, far off from his homeland, calling the pier his new home. One day he decided to sit in his chair, old rusty uniform and all.
"Ah, smell the fresh, polluted air!" he said to a couple of sailors, taking in the fumes, "It was never like this back in my day, but things change…"
The two paid no attention to him.
Suddenly, a boy named Olaffander came by.
"Howdy, dang it!" Captain Rusty shouted with a big grin.
The boy came over to say hello. Captain Rusty decided to sing a tune with the young lad, bringing out a banjo. In the end, the song ended with infamous words: carrot cake…