|Where I Can't Follow?
Author: LoveAlways03 PM
Your storms have worn me out, I've been chasing you up and down just in case you need me...I could give up and let your troubles have you, it's hard to love the stranger you've turned into...Sequel to Don't Fall For The Player...Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 93,072 - Reviews: 514 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 04-15-13 - Published: 06-10-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3031027
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Oh?" she repeated and got a quick nod. "You say you're pregnant and he says oh?!"
"Right!" she threw her hands up annoyed. "I mean, ok, yes I get there was a shock, but really? All he could offer was a mumbled oh and about ten minutes of just awkwardly staring at my stomach? What the hell?"
"Maybe he just needs a moment to let it sink in," Hannah tried to offer, she herself trying to understand how all this happened. After Tenley and her talked and she told her everything things started to make more sense. Her crazy acting, her pushing Colton away, all of it made sense. And honestly the 'oh' did to make a point make sense, that was a lot to take in.
"Maybe this just isn't how he pictures his life at twenty-three," she collapsed on the bed with a sigh. "We are so young Hannah and yes one day he might want a family but not now. I should…I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just let him go and figured this out on my own."
"Raise a baby on your own? You really think that would have gone over well?"
"I don't know ok!" she threw her head in her hands and let out a small cry. "I planned so many things but not him being so…so disappointed looking. I never thought I would tell him the truth and he would just let me leave like that. I just…I expected him to be panicked but not disappointed."
"Ten…"Hannah dropped down beside her and rubbed her back. Honestly, not too sure what to say in this situation. She never experienced this before, she wasn't sure there was a right thing to say.
"You should have seen his face, Hannah," she shook her head as the pressure built in her eyes. "He's never looked at me like that…"
"I don't think he is disappointed or mad or anything but a little freaked out, Tenley. I mean, he thought you were breaking up with him and now you tell him you're pregnant. What's a guy to think? His mind is probably in about a million places right now. Has he called you yet?" she wondered and the brunette shook her head. "Oh girl," she tugged her into a hug. "He will…just needs to understand what is happening. But he will call…I promise…"
"And if he doesn't?"
"He will," she smoothed out her hair and gave a reassuring smile. "If it means he gets you back, he will call…"
"Dude, you're giving me a headache," Lee walked into the room and found his friend tossing the ball against the wall, it bounce back to him and he just do it again. "Are you seriously still pissed at me?" he groaned and rolled his eyes. "I'm not having sex with Tenley!"
"No…" he spoke finally and caught the ball just to toss it again. "But you knew she was pregnant," he snapped and squeezed the ball tight, his friend tensed up a little before he tossed it again. "So yeah, I'm a little pissed…"
"She asked me not to say anything…"
"And that makes it ok?" he snapped and sat up annoyed. "My girlfriend broke up with me! She broke up with me and gave me know reason why and you saw it! You watched me rack my brain trying to figure out what I did and you said nothing!"
"You've been my best fucking friend since we were kids, man. You didn't think ever to tell me…" he tossed his hand to the side with a dry laugh.
"I know, I know man. But she was going through some stuff and I was trying to be there for her. I was-"
"You shouldn't have done shit!" he yelled and the ball so hard at the wall it left a mark. "You shouldn't have gotten in the middle of it! This is my relationship, my girlfriend and everyone let me stay completely in the dark on this! Was I not going to get a say in any of this?"
"No, no man it wasn't like that," he told him quickly and stepped into the room. "Look…a couple weeks ago…"
"A couple weeks ago? You've known for a couple weeks?!"
"Just listen damn it!" Lee snapped and ran a hand through his hair. "She was stressed out, you knew that," he tossed his hand up. "She was tired and not feeling good and she thought it was because it was stressed. Yet the more days passed, the more stressed she got and she didn't want to say anything to you if it wasn't anything. She didn't want you to panic man. She loves you…"
"Yeah, the past few weeks have been a clear sign of that," he growled as he walked over and stared out the window.
"She was just scared," he defended. "And you know how she is man. She is stubborn. When she makes her mind up there is no changing it."
"I don't need you telling me how my girl is," he stressed his point as he kept his back to him. More than sure no one really knew all he was thinking in that moment. "I also don't need you trying to explain this situation to me. Because the truth is you lied to me," he turned to face him. "You both lied to me and you both made this decision without me. I mean, was it you? Are you the one who sat and discussed the options with her? Are you the one that helped her go through this? That was my job Lee! She went to you and had you make choices that were going to affect my life."
"I didn't make her choices, man. It wasn't like that," Lee defended quickly, truly hoping he didn't lose his friendship over all this. "I told her to tell you. I told her to be honest and you two to figure it out together. I did all I could do without losing her trust."
"Good for you then," he released a dry laugh.
"You're my best friend Colt," Lee said, suddenly realizing all of what his friend meant. He was so busy trying to help Tenley figure it all out what to do, he never thought it would bother Colton so much. He never saw being a loyal friend to her would make him be such a shitty one to Colton. "I was trying to look out for you."
"And what if I did walk away? What if I took that internship and left? What would you have done then? Took care of my kid? Never tell me I had a child?"
"No!" he told him quickly because that would have never happened. "I would have never let you not know about your kid. God, Colt you think I would do that shit? I told her not to push that. I understood what she was thinking, I got where her mind was at but I told her I wouldn't have ever let you leave and you not know. She had a limit, if she reached it I told her I was going to tell you. Why do you think she came by and told you last night? I told her I was over that shit because you had hit rock bottom on it. You thought I was having sex with her?!" he snapped and the blonde let out a small laugh. "It hit that point and I told her no more because then it was screwing up my friendships, because I can assure you I've never had sex with Tenley. Damn I've never even kissed the girl, not even when we went out in high school. She got in a weird mood at dinner, gave me a hug and it was done."
"Yeah, we hooked up that night," Colton informed him. He very much recalled that night, he got slapped, bitched at and that was the night he realized his feelings for Tenley were more than friendly. He got jealous. He wouldn't tell anyone that but he was jealous as hell of the thought of his best friend going out with her.
"Like for the first time?"
"Shit no," Colton scuffed and dropped on his bed. "We had been hooking up for a while. You just bought her dinner and I just got the perks of it."
"I feel so used," Lee tried to joke and relaxed some when his friend cracked a laugh. "Colton," he paused a second as he thought. "I don't want you pissed at me. You're my best friend and I'm sorry. Now that I think about it, I understand what you mean. But I just want you to know I wouldn't have ever let you be in the dark of your kid man. I wouldn't have let you leave never knowing."
"Have you talked to her?" he wondered and choose not to comment on what his friend had said. "Have you talked to her since yesterday?"
"Yes…" he told him honestly and the blonde slowly nodded. Not that he was too shocked by that. "She's a mess dude. She thinks you hate her."
"Where is she?"
"She was at Hannah's earlier but Max said she was going to head home for a few days. Her dad is freaking out a bit and she knows she needs to talk to him."
"Fuck…" he ran his hands over his face and pulled in a sharp breath. That thought of telling his parents not even clicking to him until just then. "Fuck," he cursed again, standing up and grabbing his keys from the nightstand.
"Where are you going?"
"There's some things I need to do," he grumbled and moved toward the door.
"Colt…" Lee touched his shoulder to stop him and the blonde kept his eyes forward. "Are we good man?"
"Honestly?" he pulled his eyes toward him and gave a light head shake. "I don't know. I get what you did and why you did it, but Tenley is pregnant Lee and for some reason no one thought that was something I should know. And honestly right now she is all I'm really focusing on."
"Understandable," Lee took a step back respecting that. However, at the same time he really didn't want to lose his friend. They had been friends for years and been through a whole bunch of shit. He knew he screwed up, but he really didn't know what he was supposed to do in that position. Either way he was going to look like an ass.
"But…" Colton started again and his friend perked up. "As pissed as I am at her, I'd never want her to go through everything she has been alone. So for that I thank you…but you still should have told me."
"Later," he told him as he stepped past him and down the stairs. Knowing the next couple conversations he was about to have weren't going to be fun ones.
Staring out the window, she rested her head against the wall and wrapped her arms around herself. She just talked to her dad, not the easiest talk she had ever had, but she had it. She honestly wasn't sure if he looked more disappointed or Colton did. Both had that look, a look she hated and every time she closed her eyes and saw it, she just wanted to cry more.
"Damn it," she let out a cry and dropped her head to her knees, tucking them close to her and released a sob.
"Is this healthy?" her head snapped up and heart raced at the boy in the doorway. "All this crying? Because you've been doing it a lot lately and I know you haven't been sleeping well, which means you've probably haven't been eating well either."
"The doctor said I was ok," she gave a short shrug.
"You've been to the doctor?" he wondered and she nodded. "Who went with you?"
"No one," her mouth twitched to the side and she blinked the tears.
"Yeah," he released a dry laugh as he stepped into the room and shut the door. Walking over toward her, the broken brunette held her breath as he eased down beside her. Her heart sped up when he slowly took her hands in his and placed them in his lap. "I'm…I'm going to keep your hands right here because I'm kinda afraid after I ask you something you might hit me."
"Why would I hit you?" she wondered confused and he lifted his head to meet her eyes.
"Because the next question I ask might be the hardest thing I'm ever going to say in my life. And I swear to god I'm going to ask one time and I'll never ask it again," he told her and she held her breath as she waited for what he might say. "It's mine right?" she heard his voice crack a fracture and she let out a sob.
"Ten…" he gripped her hands tight when he felt her start to pull them back. "Listen to me…"
"I don't think I want too…"
"I'm not trying to be an asshole," he said and she let out a bitter laugh. "But you broke up with me. You've been acting so weird and…"
"Jack said some stuff," he whispered out and her eyes closed.
"Like what? What the hell did he say that would make you ask me that?"
"That he loved you. And that you two had all these secret talks I didn't know about and that…that you still cared about him."
"Why would you believe him?"
"Honestly, at this point I'm so damn confused about so much. I don't know what to think."
"It's yours," she told him without a second thought. "There is no way in hell it could be anyone else's. God, Colton you're the only guy I've been with since high school," she told him, not understanding why he would question that. "And I made myself a promise a long time ago I'd never sleep with another guy unless I was in love with him. And honestly I don't think I'm ever going to love someone the way I do you…"
"You still love me?"
"Of course I still love you," she ran her hand through his hair and brought his head to rest against hers. "I love you so damn much…"
"Then why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because I was scared," she sniffled. "I don't want to force you into this life. I don't want to make you stay with me. I don't want to become that girl your family always said I'd be…"
"So you weren't going to give me a say in that? What if I left Ten? What if I took that job you were forcing on me to take? What if I moved on and left?"
"I didn't think that far ahead," she whispered out and glanced down. "I just wanted you to make all the decisions you would have made without this weighing in and then we'd figure it out. If leaving was what you really wanted to do, I wanted you to do it. I didn't want to hold you back…I didn't want you to just make this choice to stay with me, a choice you really didn't get a say in," her hand ran across her stomach and frowned.
"Ten…" he paused a moment and reached to knock the tear from her cheek. "Do you want this baby?" he questioned and watched as she slowly nodded with a sniffle. "Then where is the bad in this?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when I talk about my future it's never not had you in it," he told her like she was supposed to know that. "There isn't something forcing me into this. You didn't do this alone. I helped," he tried to joke and she cracked a small smile. "This doesn't lock me into this relationship Ten. God, I've been with you five years."
"I know…" she whispered and he cupped her cheek to turn her to face him.
"You're my everything, love," he told her and her eyes closed as she fell into his touch. "And that isn't just some line I pop out to you. Did I plan on us to have a child someday? Of course I did," he told her and she released a dry laugh. "Did I plan on it to be now? No, honestly I didn't. But that doesn't mean for a second I don't want this."
"Are you scared?"
"Shitless," he said and she let out a small laugh that made his heart tighten. "But we're adults Ten. We knew the risks…we can handle this."
"I'm so sorry," she cried, slipping her arms around his neck and clinging tight. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't even know how it did…"
"It's ok," his arms came around her and he lifted her up to sit in his lap. Her arms wrapped so tight around him he thought she might crush him. "Shit just happens…but that's ok…"
"Nothing is going to be the same, Colton," she pulled back to look at him and gave a light shrug. "Everything is completely different now. I don't want to rush into things. I don't want to make decisions off the fact of this baby," her eyes trailed down to her small stomach and he gave a gentle smile.
"Baby…" he whispered out as he slowly lifted his eyes to meet hers. "We made a child together, Ten. We created them," he ran his hand over her stomach and smiled. Something inside of him exploding and he suddenly felt…calm. He felt excited. "What are you feeling?"
"I don't know," her voice cracked a little. "I've been thinking about it nonstop the last few weeks and I get excited because all I ever wanted was a family with you. But then I get scared because I don't want to get that fairytale family just because you feel you have too. I'm not forcing you in this Colton. I need you to know that. This connects us forever, yes, but it doesn't mean you have to forever be with me."
"This baby isn't what was going to make me forever be with you Tenley," his tone dropped a little and turned sharp to the fact she didn't know that. "Don't worry about any of that anyway. Don't worry about my family or yours or anyone else. The only thing that matters is that I promise you I will take care of both of you," he made sure she knew and she slowly nodded. "Not matter what happens, no matter what the future does to us, you aren't in this alone, ok?"
"Ok…" she whispered out low and bit on her lower lip as she looked into those gorgeous blue eyes. It shocking to her how calm he was when she had been freaking about it. "I'm sorry for so much…" she told him and his eyes closed hating how much pain he saw in hers. "I was just scared. I was so scared you were going to resent me and I was going to lose you…"
"That's not ever going to happen," he shook his head quickly at that thought.
"Good, because I don't think I know how to do this without you," she told him and pulled in a broken breath. "I love you…" her lip twitched and left shoulder gave a short shrug.
"Oh baby girl," he threaded his hand through her hair and brought her head to rest against his. "I love you too," he whispered, swearing it felt better to hear her say it then then the first time she ever told him. "So damn much," he gave her a short kiss and she let out a small sigh as she fell into it.