|The Supernatural Royal Pain in the Butt
Author: Claire-Inet PM
When Andrew went to let his dog out late at night, he sees the surprise of his life...a girl, quite a pretty girl! Little did he expect a snotty , self- absorbed vampire princess from Romania...who makes poor Andrew's life a living nightmare! This is a humorous story, so please read it! :Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,546 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 01-21-13 - Published: 06-13-12 - id: 3031935
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter 10: I Blow My Whole Allowance on Chanel and Shoes
Anna came downstairs one afternoon for breakfast after she woke up.
"Finally you woke up", Andrew snorted.
"I needed my beauty sleep", Anna said primly.
"I know. Have you ever seen yourself in the morning before school? I get nightmares just thinking about that", Andrew joked. He pretended to shiver as if he was frightened. Anna scowled at him and stuck her tongue at him. "You are just jealous because I am sexy, as you Americans say."
Andrew's mom walked in with her funky looking leotard yoga clothes. Ever since they'd converted themselves to vegans Andrew's mom have been turning to "the road of enlightenment". She's been taking tai chi classes, yoga classes, and Andrew's father swears that by the end of this month she's going to be a full time hippie. Andrew's father has been a little cranky about turning vegan. Sometimes you'd see him sneaking hamburgers in the middle of the night.
"Well you're up, Sleeping Beauty", Andrew's mom joked. Anna's face glowed. She must've thought that this was a real complement and said: "Thank you Mrs. Mulligan. At least someone can appreciate true beauty when they see it." She gave Andrew the evil eye. Mrs. Milligan chuckled.
"Oh, Andy, I need you to go grocery shopping with me later."
"Aw! Do I have to? I was planning on spending my Saturday doing more interesting things."
She always does this! She always goes thanksgiving shopping two days before the holiday! And she always brings me along. But not today, today is Me Day. Where I rot my brains on video games, hanging out with David, and then probably sleep until 2:00 in the afternoon the next day.
"Okay, fine I'll just go with your father." She turned to Anna, and then had a peculiar look in her face, and then her eyes gleamed as if she got the most brilliant idea.
"Y'know Anna", Andrew's mom started. "You always seem to be wearing black a whole lot." Anna looked down at her black nightdress. "I just had the perfect idea for both you and Andy to spend your Saturday." Andrew's and Anna's face had a blank look.
No please don't say it!
"Andrew, maybe you could show Anna around. I mean she's been here for months and I've never seen her go out. And maybe you could take her shopping, and buy her a wardrobe with some color. Sorry to say this, Anna but your clothes are very depressing and it's ruining the aura in this house."
Andrew and Anna shouted cries of discontent, but Andrew's mom ignored them.
"Nope, I've made up my mind. You two are going shopping." And with that Andrew's mom left walking out with her 80's workout leotard, singing "Physical" by Olivia Newton John.
God, sitting in the car has become even more awkward than usual.
Andrew looked over at Anna in the passenger seat. She dressed in black once again. She wore a look of contempt. Once again there was silence in the car. So Andrew decided to break it with: "Look, it wasn't my fault that my mom made us go shopping. To tell you the truth, it was really your fault."
"My fault! How is it my fault?" Anna yelled.
"Well if maybe you wore something other than black, I wouldn't to take you shopping for clothes. I don't even know anything about women's clothing. So yeah, it is your fault!"
Anna seethed all the way into the mall where they entered the Macy's department.
"Oh my goodness." All anger has left her. She walked around some more in the store, eyeing all the clothes, shoes and jewelry. She pressed her face against the illuminated glass case full of diamonds. Her face was pushed so close to the glass, Andrew thought it would break.
"Ugh come on", Andrew said as he dragged her out of Macy's by her coat sleeve. The mall was huge and packed with people, staring at Anna who paid no attention to them.
"Hey Andy!" A loud obnoxious voice cried from the back of them. The voice could only belong to Andrew's friend…David. Andrew sighed. They turned around, to see him coming up to them with arms outstretched, as if to give a big hug to Andrew. David was accompanied by some other friends and his older sister, Nikki. David came up and instead of engulfing Andrew in a big hug, he hugged Anna. Anna had a faint look of disgust on her face, but she managed to hide it.
"I've been meaning to do that for months." He smiled.
You wouldn't want to be hugging her if you knew her dirty little secret, Andrew thought. It's been a couple of months since that 'talk' with Anna and Andrew has kept his word about not telling anyone; no matter how much Anna bothered him. He had actually came close to blurting out the truth to one of Anna's many admirers, after the guy was pissing him off talking about 'glorious' Anna.
God she pisses me off...
"So what are you guys doing here?" David's voice snapped Andrew's mind back to reality.
"Huh?" Andrew said geniously.
"Andrew here, is taking me shopping", Anna smirked. The group tried unsuccessfully to stifle their giggles. "His mother made him do it", she continued. The group burst out laughing, even some bystanders who overheard was laughing.
Andrew's face turned bright red. He shot her a murderous look. She smiled back.
"Who would've thought that Andy would be into women's clothing?" Nikki responded.
"His mother said that I needed more color in my wardrobe, that it is affecting the 'aura' of the house." The group looked at Andrew with a look that said: What the-?
"Mom's a vegan." He said plainly.
"Oh. Well, I could help you find some nice outfits if you want", Nikki offered. "I'm a pretty good shopper, if I do say so myself."
After waiting for what seemed like two eternities, David's older sister Nikki finally arrived back to where the guys where waiting. She had taken Anna and disappeared around the mall. Nikki went to almost every store with Anna, with the guys trailing along carrying three dozen bags full of shoes and outfits.
"Man this is worse than football practice", David wheezed. They went to sit in one of those giant sofas in the middle of the mall.
When Nikki returned she carried another boatload of bags. The guys groaned.
"Oh, shut up", she said. "Besides don't you want to see my final work? I'm telling you this is my best masterpiece yet. Ahem, I now present to you: the newly improved Anna Vlademirescu!"
Anna came walking up where Nikki just came from but that person didn't look like Anna at all. That person looked normal! Not a trace of black was on Anna. She wore low rise blue jeans, with a v-necked white t-shirt and a yellow cardigan on top. She had red heels. Not even her hair was black anymore; it was a chocolate brown with light brown-honey streaks. Anna didn't look like "Anna, the exotic-looking Romanian vampire princess who bothered the hell out of Andrew." She looked like "Anna, the All American girl who still bothered the hell out of him".
David's mouth dropped, he even drooled a little. His eyes looked as if it would pop out if his head.
"Well, boys what do you think?" Anna said. David let out a wolf whistle. She gave a little twirl.
"You look fine", Andrew replied a little bored. "Now, we'll just wait here while you girls go pay off all these clothes. And have fun doing that." He smirked as he imagined the price of all these clothes. He pictured himself laughing at the girl's demise.
"Actually, you're paying for all the clothes."
His mental laughter stopped abruptly.
"What? What do you mean I'm paying for it?"
"It means that you are paying for it."
"Why do I have to pay for all your junk?"
"One it's not junk", Nikki butted in. "Two, because you're a guy and it's only right that you pay for her items. Plus you took her shopping, right? Then you should pay for her. You got a job don't you? Just use your work money. God, what's wrong with men these days? I mean, seriously"… And so on it went, for a seemingly three decades until Andrew broke down.
"All right, all right! I'll pay for them! Just shut up, please! God, I swear you could talk for years and kill somebody from it and never realize it."
The girls smiled and squealed as they got their way. David laughed at his demise. Traitor.
Claire sat at her desk, deep in thought. her frazzled hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and her pajama bottoms donned the look of dancing ducks. Stacks of papers and books were piled high around her, looking as if they would topple right over in any second. She turned to the audience.
"Hey fellow fictionpressioners...sorry for the long wait. I've been really busy...and I mean really busy. Marching band competitions, football games, school, school and let's just add another school in there..." She frowned.
"But! It's all done! Chapter 10 is finally up and I hope you enjoyed it! I'll see you guys next time!"
And with she snapped her fingers and disappeared.