|The Supernatural Royal Pain in the Butt
Author: Claire-Inet PM
When Andrew went to let his dog out late at night, he sees the surprise of his life...a girl, quite a pretty girl! Little did he expect a snotty , self- absorbed vampire princess from Romania...who makes poor Andrew's life a living nightmare! This is a humorous story, so please read it! :Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,546 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 01-21-13 - Published: 06-13-12 - id: 3031935
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
CHAPTER 13: Angry Men Discussing Angrily About the Recent Technology
"No, no, no! I told you already we should have gone west and then turn right! But did you two listen to me? Noo! 'Oh, let's go south then turn right. Let's not listen to Eli, he's just some skinny old coot that no one cares about!'" the silence was broken by the old man's loud exclamations. His face was red from anger and cold. His hair was as white as the snow surrounding him and his two companions. Despite his long black coat, the old man's body was extremely thin; he looked as if the wind would blow him over.
"Are you done yet?!" exclaimed the second man. He was also thin with a pale gaunt face and long silver hair that reached down to his elbows. "Dear lord, you never stop complaining! 'Do we have to use this plane? Why do we to mingle with these lowly commoners?' Oh blah blah. Will you ever shut your trap?"
"Why don't you come and shut it for me, Loren?!" shouted Eli as he pushed Loren.
"I might just have to", said Loren as he started to roll up his sleeves.
"Oh will you shut up both of you? I swear it's like baby sitting twelve year old boys. Very old and quite ugly twelve year old boys, but twelve years old nonetheless", butted in the third man who was an extreme contrast to the other two men. He was not as old as them and had round and pleasant face. In fact his whole body was round, standing next to the other two; they looked like the number 110. He had curly black hair with some gray and a long curly black beard. He almost resembled Santa Claus.
"Who are you calling old and ugly Basil? You're not so young, yourself."
"That may be true, but I look better than both of you combined. Now will you stop quarreling and help me decipher this contraption? I swear these new techno-voodoo things never make sense!"
"Well, it was your fault anyway", retorted Eli. "You and your fancy gadgets; 'Turn right in the next 100 meters…now turn left in the next 50 feet after.' Who is supposed to know how many meters is which?!"
"I think it is broken", sniffed Loren as he peered over the shoulder of Basil. "I told you we should not have bought this from that street market seller in New York. I did not like the look in his eyes, and he spoke much too fast."
A moment of silence passed as the three men stared intently at the small gps monitor and at the tiny blinking red dot as it moved across the screen.
"Ugh it must be broken!" Basil exclaimed as he threw the gps in the snow. "Look! It says that she is going east when obviously there is no one there in the east!" he gazed steely in the direction the little red dot was moving. There was no one there except for a young girl with brown hair running and tripping in the snow. Those young people these days, always running around and doing stupid things.
Loren tapped his arm to get his attention. "Perhaps we could ask that young lady for directions. Maybe she knows the way around this confounded place."
Basil clapped Loren on the back, "Good idea! Perhaps you are somewhat useful, than besides entertaining us with your complaining." He turned in the direction the girl was in. "Excuse me miss! Miss! Could you direct us around or at least help us decipher this electronic GPS map thing."
The girl in front of them stopped running, and didn't move. She didn't even turn back around. The three men approached her; Basil marching in first, Loren trudging in second, and Eli slumping and tripping behind.
"Excellent", Basil said. "Now would you care to direct us in which way this red dot is going? It must be broken, because it seems to be directing us to you."
The girl shook her head. "No, sorry", she said. Her voice muffled by a thick scarf that also concealed half her face. Her jacket hood covered the rest of her forehead. All that could be seen was some of her eyes and long brown hair that had escaped from her hood. What odd fashion this girl has. Quite peculiar… so this must be one of those American Amish folks I have heard about.
"Oh, are you sure? Well then, perhaps you could tell us if you have seen this girl." Basil pulled out a small portrait of a pretty girl with dark black hair and shocking grey eyes. She had a high and mighty look on her face. "You see, this is our niece and she is very special to us, and she has been missing for quite some time. We come from Romania, and we have searched everywhere for her. Have you seen her?"
The girl shook her head furiously, she sure haven't seen her.
"Oh well," Basil sighed. "She is very important. Thank you, and we are sorry for disrupting you." The girl gave a quick nod, and then ran away, occasionally stumbling through the snow. Loren hit Basil on his arm.
"Was that necessary to tell that girl that we are from Romania?! What if she gets suspicious and calls the police? Then what? Did you ever think of that?!"
Basil bumped Loren with his round belly. Loren fell to the ground. "Well, sorry if I am the only one actually trying to finding the stupid girl! We will all die without her!"
"Oh sure steal all the credit from my idea!" while the two men continued arguing, Eli looked back at where the girl had run away. He narrowed his eyes at the small dot running into the distance. There is something awfully familiar about that girl…
Far into the corner of the universe, sat the main character of this author's note. She was as always writing and snacking on some cookies. She turned her attention to her audience, pushing her purple glasses on her face.
"Hello fellow readers! " She said excitedly. "It's of course always a pleasure to see you reading my stories. I'm sorry for the long wait but it's been really hectic where I'm at. You wouldn't imagine! Let's just say that testing sucks." She looked agitated and crossed her fingers while biting her lip. "Pray for me that I pass my midterms!"
She looked around and a smile came on her face as she lifted up a golden bag. "For being the wonderful audience/readers that you are..." she reached into showered everyone with delicious cookies. "You all get cookies! Enjoy my beautiful people, enjoy!"
And with a wink of her eye, she disappeared into the night.