This is an autobiography. In this autobiography, I will be known as "Hollie".

Every single event that you will about to read about is completely true. The only things that will not be true are names of people and most places in order to keep everything as anonymous as possible.

I have decided to share with you my life after moving to a small (surprisingly not a very well-known) island in Asia. I believe that it has changed me, in some ways for the worse, and has caused me so much pain and suffering that all I wish to do is to let everything out for once. But I do have to admit that these few years on this island have given me opportunities I would not have had in America. Yet, I hope that if someone I know in real life does stumble upon this, they won't recognise me because I would be absolutely humiliated. I don't know how long this story will be, when I'll stop, or what the ending is, because my journey has not quite ended yet.

Thank you, whoever you are, for reading, because for once I feel like someone is really listening to me.

Warning: Possible themes in this story include alcohol, sex, clubbing and other things a young teenager shouldn't get himself or herself into.

On January 1st, 2006, my father passed away. I was only eleven. For most of my time with him, he was constantly in and out of the hospital. I don't quite know the exact story, but apparently he was fighting in the Vietnam War and one day a grenade exploded near him and some shrapnel pierced through his body and he was sent to the United States for medical help. There, he met my mom, whom had immigrated to America when she was 20, and they married.

Due to the death of my best friend, my father, I went through depression for about two years. I was suicidal before I even turned thirteen. I constantly felt sad and lonely. My mother sent my grandma, my dad's mom, to a home for the elderly, which made me feel even more lonely. My grandma took care of my sister and me from the very beginning. She was as patient as my dad and was always there for us. My mom was diagnosed with depression and I suspect she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She had to take care of my sister and I on her own, but all the stress made her lose control of herself. One little thing made her go crazy and I started to get used to her beatings and almost took it as a joke. There were times when she grabbed a butcher knife or something hard and solid and threatened us with it. Because my mom frightened me so much, I became afraid of people, and became somewhat antisocial.

At around this time, I was enrolled into a private Christian school. There I was introduced to the Bible and the teachings of Christ. I became encouraged by Christ's words of love and his promises of eternal happiness and from then on, I believed in the existence of God. However, I was not interested in attending church and wasn't completely dedicated to praying every night as most Christians were. My mom was introduced to God as well, and slowly tried to improve her temper and attitude.

In 2007, my mom found a man through a church she went to. He was a incredibly successful businessman who was still working even at his age. I would reveal more about him, but he currently has a legal case with a government in another country, and I assume that should be kept private. He definitely had money. But I hated him. I didn't want anyone to take my mom, and my relationship with him had a horrible beginning. Even to this day we have an awkward relationship and I still have never called him by his name. My loneliness worsened, because I was so scared and angry my mom was going to move on from my dad and find someone else.

Two years later, in 2009, my mom unexpectedly told my sister and me that we were moving to Asia. She promised that if we didn't like it, we could move back (but of course she was only trying to bribe us). We moved that summer, and I started my sophomore year at an American school in an entirely new country. My life could not have changed any more than that.

I am Hollie. When I first came to this island I was the innocent, sweet, Christian girl. Then I was introduced to alcohol, shisha (hookah), clubbing, older boys, and slutty clothes. I experienced those days where I vomited everywhere and promised myself I wouldn't drink anymore. When I was 15, I dated a man who was 5 years older than me and my friends didn't try to stop me. I lost friends who tried to protect me and I made friends who tempted me to do things. Now that I'm about to go to college and I'm looking back on my days here, I wish I could say that I have changed for the better and I am now proud of myself. But even today I'm still trying to find myself and I am so, so, so scared of what's going to happen to me in the coming days. I'm still in pain and I'm still incredibly lonely. I'm scared. So I'm hoping that sharing my life and my pain will help me in some way. Of course not everything was horrible - some of these stories might make you smile or laugh or keep you entertained, but I hope that you realise how much I've changed and how I wish I knew who I am.