|I'm Really Not Funny
Author: BethanyWrites PM
Two of my religion essays. As in, religions for essay class. God... I actually just typed that. Essays for religion class, both about gay rights, basically. Not really a point to having them up here.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Spiritual/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,652 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 06-17-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3033002
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Prompt: Not sure, but not this
Grade received: 74%
Teacher's comments: "But you have the most beautiful face in the whole class!" -.-
I don't agree with anything written in the Catholic Social Teachings nor anything in the two handouts we were to read. These documents aren't filled with factual accounts of religious practices and histories, but with opinions that the writer assumes is shared by the reader. Both the documents and the book agree with each other, because they are both the works of theologians.
A quote from Catholic Social Teachings, "Atheism; a serious concern…" I don't know what your take on that is, but it makes me feel hunted. If Catholics are so about loving each other and making the world a better place, why are my personal beliefs a concern of theirs? And a serious concern, at that. Am I going around forcing Catholics to convert at gunpoint? I mean, unless I have a really bad sleepwalking problem, no. Am I going around and openly sharing my beliefs, possibly making people question their faith? Yes. Why is that wrong, yet Catholics doing the same thing are just considered to be "spreading the good word"? True, I may be leading people away from their faith, but isn't the important thing that they're thinking for themselves? Isn't that why God supposedly gave humans freewill?
While we're on the subject of God, freewill, and Catholics, I'd like to get to the subject of my essay and talk about gay marriage. First of all, why is it called gay marriage? We don't call it straight marriage when referring to the marriage of opposite sex couples. Homosexuals don't wear gay shoes and drive gay cars and go on gay dates. And I'm not saying that it's just Catholics against it, or that all Catholics are. However, our school is. Gays are a big no-no. There are no same-sex prom dates, as an example. But what's so wrong with gay people? Why don't they get the same rights as us?
It's because people aren't educated. The people saying that being gay is wrong are the same people who think all little girls wear pink and all little boys wear blue, and no lines between those two things will be crossed. That's the first thing that needs to be addressed. Did you know that not all people fit into the two strict gender categories our society recognizes? I like sports, don't like pink, don't like dresses, slouch a lot, think make-up is horrifying, and would enjoy rolling around in the mud more than dressing up and going out for the night. Based on these characteristics, what gender am I? A boy, right? But because of my physical gender, I'm a girl. However, if my internal gender was a boy, would I be allowed to marry boys or girls? Based on God's law, that is. Just something to think about.
Luckily, we've moved past the era where tomboys were like a figure out of a horror story. I've never gotten flack for wearing wrinkled clothes or shuffling my feet when I walk. However, I am called lazy, some people accuse me of being a lesbian, and whenever I do dress up people say "oh, you actually look like a girl!" like that should be the greatest compliment in the world. Conversely, boys who act more like girls are given no slack. If a boy likes pink or he doesn't like cars and sports or if he uses body wash, he's a range of things; a pansy, a girl, a faggot, gay, a wimp, and more. Why is that? It's socially acceptable for girls to wear pants, yet if a guy wears a dress he's either joking or gay. Why? Is it because God sent down his divine word that men were manly, women were womanly, and anything in between was a mistake? Oh, but God doesn't make mistakes.
All this and I haven't even raised the issue of people of no gender, both gender, or people who are born the wrong gender and feel that they must switch.
However, back on topic. Let's say that Taylor, a recent grad student who likes long walks on the beach, karaoke, and poetry wants to marry Dave. Dave also likes long walks on the beach, karaoke, and poetry. He also loves Taylor more than life itself and wants nothing more than to raise children with Taylor and grow old with Taylor. You'd wish them a happy life, right? You'd say yes to this wedding, right? You'd give them your blessings?
You may have guessed where this is heading, but what if Taylor was also a boy? Taylor and Dave are two men who love each other. They love each other more than Brittney Spears loved her husband of her 55 hour wedding and more than any divorced Catholic couple loved their spouse, but for some reason they're the ones who aren't allowed to get married. They can't collect the tax benefits or visit each other in the hospital or get to throw their bachelor parties. That is, unless they happen to live in a state that allows gay marriage. How many states is that again? Oh, yeah, six. Taylor and Dave have an 88% chance of being unlucky and never being able to say "I do." Of course, it's totally their fault for not moving to New York or Vermont, just like it was the black people's fault for not moving back to Africa to avoid racism and it's the fault of the people in Greece for not moving to a more stable economy. They really only have themselves to blame.
Besides, being gay is a choice, right? Just like they chose to be gay, one day you woke up and said "You know what? I think I'm going to be straight. Like those of the opposite gender. Yep, that's my choice." If you wanted to, you could become gay at any moment. Go ahead and try it. If it works (it won't) at the very least you'll be able to see what kind of obstacles gays face every day.
But, moving back to the topic of God (who, for the point of this essay, I'm pretending exists). He says gay marriage is a sin. However, assuming that gays aren't Lucifer's creation (revenge on God, I guess) while God only makes straight people, God made gay people. God knows everything; past, present, and future. God knowingly made Taylor and Dave who he knew couldn't be together, yet he had them fall in love only to never be allowed to marry. I mean, they can hold hands. That's allowed. But anything beyond that- say, kissing with even a little bit of tongue?- isn't. So what, he's testing them? Setting them up to fail? Isn't God not allowed to test people? Oh, no, it's us who aren't allowed to test him. Makes sense, that rule. If you think about it. But I won't go into that.
You know what I would do if I were God? First, I'd make people stop depicting me as an old man with a beard, because I never want facial hair. Secondly, I'd pass a new set of commandments.
1. Love everyone. For those you cannot love, show tolerance. For those you cannot show tolerance, avoid.
2. Let people be. It doesn't matter if that girl wears size 13 jeans and wants to wear a bikini, or if that guy wants to kiss a guy and that old lady wants to live alone with her cats. They aren't hurting you, and acceptance is the road to peace.
3. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
They seem reasonable, right? But not many people would follow them. Not many of them do now. For a religion that's all about acceptance and love, there sure is a lot of judging going around. Some of the most judgmental people I know are Catholic, and the most open-minded people I know are agnostic or atheist. Why is that? Why is helping the poor and saving unborn babies (who, when you take away the religious aspect as we should assume our country is doing, given our freedom of religion and all, is nothing more than a clump of cells who won't really be a person until they're a few months old) is more important than letting two people find happiness in one another? It's seen as more acceptable to try to force a teenage rape victim into having her unwanted baby than it is for two people to get married because their genders aren't "right".
Every year Catholics give thousands and thousands of dollars to the poor, but most would see that as being easier than signing a petition to allow gay marriage. Yes, helping the poor is a good thing. A universally socially acceptable thing. Easy to do. Here's a hundred bucks. Now I can feel good about myself. Signing your name to allow Dave and Taylor, a couple who will grow old together with or without rings on their fingers, to be given the same benefits as a straight couple? Too much work, too much effort. Have to think about that one. What would my friends think? They'd probably think I was gay too, or a liberal! The horror! Better just give two hundred to the poor.
Now, this essay is completely off topic from the assignment, but I honestly couldn't read those documents, let alone write an essay on them, when they talk about God's love and acceptance while the issues I mention in this essay are swept under the rug.
My beliefs in a nutshell. That was honestly the only reaction my teacher (a nun) had. I think she missed the point.